This pig foot could be yours!

After you strap a Polish firecracker on it and blow it up on New Year’s Eve, that is. Although… Why you would want to do this is beyond me (like lots of things that get done here).

Germans love blowing stuff up on New Year’s, you see, but they just don’t trust foreign explosive imports (sound familiar?). And a certain annual anti-Polish-firework-movement has even become a near-ritual kinda thang here. German newspapers and cops love to issue dramatic warnings about Polen Böller (Polish fireworks) right before the fireworks hit the fan.

And that’s what this picture is all about. Cops in Berlin and elsewhere are trying to frighten the pants off everybody by showing them what an illegal Polish firecracker can do to an unarmed pig’s foot (don’t worry, they had the decency to kill the pig first). German firecrackers just don’t put holes in your pigs feet like that, I assume.

Anyways, be careful out there this year, people. Blow up your pigs feet and other objects properly and with great care. And buy German. First, I mean.

And while we’re at it, Happy New Year!

Nein, nein and nein again!

And I’ll hold my breath until my face turns blue if you don’t believe me. Geez. This is almost like the good-old Gerhard Schroeder days – saying no before anybody asks anything of you – and that’s even with you-know-who now in office (what’s-his-name is long gone, remember?).

That Germany won’t ever really deploy real troops in a real war in a real country called Afghanistan is certainly no secret to anyone anywhere, least of all the Taliban, but that Germany’s new Foreign Minister is prepared to puff and pout and not even attend the upcoming Afghanistan conference in London should it “degrade” to a pure troop deployment conference, well, that’s kind of special (not).

As predicted, Germany has dragged its feet this past month in the face of calls from President Obama to help with a push to defeat the Taliban with more combat troops, holding off from any decision regarding troop numbers until after the London talks. Now it seems the Germans have reached a new phase: They are now even prepared to hold off on taking part on any talks before holding off on making a decision which, as all the world can clearly see, has been made long ago; nein. Or no, if you prefer.

“Mit seinem Nein zu einer deutlichen Aufstockung des Bundeswehrkontingentes steht Westerwelle ja beileibe nicht alleine. Diese Position ist auch den USA längst bekannt. Aber durch die versuchte Vorfestlegung eines Konferenzverlaufs, den Deutschland nur partiell beeinflussen kann, isoliert der Minister sich und die ganze Bundesregierung innerhalb des Bündnisses. Das ist einfach dumm.”

“The fears are completely ungrounded”

Why are there no naked scanners in Germany? Because Germans are all privacy protectionists, you nekkid fool.

But there might be hope for them (us?) yet. And not just because of Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab’s attempt to blow up Delta Airlines flight 253 for Christmas. These new real modern naked scanner machine thingies have been changed so that body dimensions like, you know, genitals, can not be distinguished – no matter how distinguished they are.

„It is advised to get to the airport early.”