Higher education

August 25, 2009 By in Higher Education Tags: 1 Comment

Or was it education for hire? That’s the good thing about this wonderful egalitarian German higher education system over here. Everything is so, well, egal (whatever). Studying doesn’t cost anything in Germany, you see, or next to nothing.

Now it's off to the third degree.

Except… When it comes to the ones how happen to be more egal/equal than you are. They are the folks who are in the position to pay Herr Dr. Professor (take you’re pick, he’s both) a little bakshish on the side for “supervising” their doctorates and thus guaranteeing academic success.

“They were told simply that paying the money would go a long way to ensuring their Ph.Ds were in the bag.”

Light Bulb Socialism in action

August 24, 2009 By in Hysteria Tags: 1 Comment

Remember when the image of a light bulb used to represent having a good idea? Well an EU ban ushering in the replacement of traditional light bulbs with the more energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulb (CFL) type has got everybody in Germany coming up with a bright new idea of their own: Hoarding the old ones.

What a bright idea!

Sure it’s bureaucracy gone wild again, but it’s only for your own good again, folks. And this way, with you guys doing all that hoarding, everybody wins. The producers and sellers of those bad old evil old light bulbs included.

“Hardware stores and home-improvement chains in Germany are seeing massive increases in the sales of the traditional bulbs. Obi reports a 27 percent growth in sales over the same period a year ago. Hornbach has seen its frosted-glass light bulb sales increase by 40-112 percent. When it comes to 100-watt bulbs, Max Bahr has seen an 80 percent jump in sales, while the figure has been 150 percent for its competitor Praktiker.”

„Wiesner recounts a story of how one of his field representatives recently saw a man in a hardware store with a shopping cart full of light bulbs of all types worth more than €200 ($285). “That’s enough for the next 20 years.“

Time to say goodbye

August 23, 2009 By in Habitudes Tags: Leave a comment

From Afghanistan, for Germany, right before the coming German general election, get it?

 I'm the peace guy.

“Although the issue has so far not played a big part in the run-up to Germany’s September 27 federal election, polls show most voters want the 4,200 German troops in Afghanistan as part of a six-year-old NATO mission to return home.”

“Geman Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier, a member of the Social Democrats (SPD) who share power with Merkel’s conservatives, said once it became clear who would lead Afghanistan after last Thursday’s election there, talks should begin over how long foreign troops should stay.”

And he didn’t say it with any desperation in his voice either, honest.

“We need to agree with the new Afghan president…how long international troops should remain in Afghanistan.”

German campaign’s lack of substance not anything like Obama’s was

August 21, 2009 By in Helplessness Tags: 1 Comment

“German politicians are drawing on the lessons of the U.S. presidential campaign by embracing the Internet and experimenting with townhall meetings, but what worked for Barack Obama seems to be backfiring here.”

Yes we can two, I mean too.

“Both candidates are using chatrooms, blogs and Twitter to woo voters and have used U.S-style townhall formats in television appearances.”

But…”You can’t copy and paste Obama because that would be the wrong thing to do and it can quickly turn out to be embarrassing,”

“The trouble for the campaign managers, analysts say, is that no amount of innovative tactics can compensate for a lack of substance.”

Huh? I thought that is how Obama got elected in the first place. Whatever.

“Just last year, former SPD General Secretary Hubertus Heil was ridiculed after he tried to get party conference delegates to chant ‘Yes, we can!’ only to be met with a deafening silence.”

Now that we’re no longer the world’s top exporter…

August 20, 2009 By in Heconomy, Hurt Feelings Tags: 3 Comments

It’s finally okay for us to start buying Japanese cars too!

I'm trading this in for a Toyota too.

Or at least that’s what German Green Party whip Renate Künast seems to think. With calls for “Buy hybrid cars from Toyota!” and other provocative German-car-industry-bashing and name-calling name calls, Künast is hurting her fellow Germans’ German car loving feelings right and left. Or maybe she isn’t, hard to say for sure.

Personally, I’ve always felt that Germans secretly want to own Japanese cars (you rarely see one here, you know), it’s just that their families would disown them and the neighbors wouldn’t understand. Not that they do now, the neighbors, but still.

So, who knows? Maybe this offensive Green offensive might be the final straw to finally break the back of German Japanese car resistance and mobilize the already highly mobile German population to finally get out there and buy some Made in Japan already.

Or maybe it might just get the German car industry to finally budge just this little itsy bitty bit and start making more environmentally friendly automobiles. Nah.

„Wenn die Deutschen zu blöd sind, moderne Autos zu bauen, muss man den Leuten empfehlen, Toyota Prius zu kaufen.“

Let’s champion something else for awhile

August 19, 2009 By in Heconomy Tags: 3 Comments

Although the title may be an unofficial one, it looks like its official now: Germany is poised to lose the title of world’s top exporter this year – to China (who else?).  The recession may be over here (or not), but the recession elsewhere continues to lower the demand for expensive German cars, machinery and other Teutonic stuff.

Only dummies would buy these cars.

In other words, the rest of the world is now doing what the Germans have been doing here all along: The cheaper the better. No, that’s not a dance, although it might become one.

“Germany’s trading partners are going more for cheaper products right now.”

This is not a crocodile

August 18, 2009 By in Habitudes Tags: 2 Comments

I don’t know what it is, but Germans are doggedly determined to find crocodiles in their lakes, rivers and streams. Crocodiles that aren’t there, I mean. This time, two girls in Bavaria saw one (not) and got the country’s crocodile hunters (professional and otherwise) all tied up in a knot for a few minutes of non-fame.

The last crocodile that wasn’t one turned out to be a turtle. The one before that was probably a bottle of corn schnapps.  And the one before that…

Ceci n'est pas une crocodille.

Okay, so you’ve had your little Sommerloch (silly summer season) scare again (not). It’s time to go back to school and/or work again or something already.

„Die Beamten gehen nun aber davon aus, dass es ein Biber oder auch ein größerer Fisch war, der die Mädchen erschreckte.“

Yeah, but where’s the Currywurst?

August 16, 2009 By in Home Cooking Tags: 1 Comment

To eat, I mean. What is this, people? Berlin opens up the world’s first (and last) Currywurst Museum and the Betreiber (operator) folks don’t even have the decency to offer their guests one (or two) to eat.

Typical Currywurst

They won’t be opening the eating lounge part for another few weeks, you see. But at least for that you can sit on the sausage sofa right now.

“Das ist wieder typisch Berlin!”