Miriam P.
Fruit sellers go home!
Bashing Berlin? That’s easy. Especially if you’re a real insider who’s on the outside now. Thilo Sarrazin (SPD), the city’s former finance minister now working for the German Central Bank in Frankfurt, has said in an interview that Berlin is 1) not productive enough 2) has too many immigrants and 3) is being held back by its leftist mentality. Well, two out of three ain’t bad (I’m on the immigrants’ side for some strange reason).
“In Berlin there is a bigger problem than elsewhere of an underclass that does not take part in the normal economic cycle. A large number of Arabs and Turks in this city, whose numbers have grown thanks to the wrong policies, have no productive function except selling fruit and vegetables. I would strike a completely different tone. Anyone who can do something and strives for something with us is welcome. The rest should go elsewhere.”
It’s a good thing he went elsewhere before he did this interview is all I can say. And what the hell’s wrong with selling fruit, huh? I don’t see anything wrong with selling fruit. Unless your name is Klaus Wowereit or something, I mean.*
* Inappropriate/incorrect joke warning: Klaus Wowereit is Berlin’s openly gay mayor who’s about to be the next big thang in what used to be the SPD, get it?
Sarrazin hält die Berliner für eher plebejisch und kleinbürgerlich. Die Bundesbank distanzierte sich von Sarrazins Äußerungen.
Old people forced to use Internet
Old technophobic Germans, and heavens knows there certainly are a lot of those, just aren’t as feisty as they used to be.
Forced at gunpoint by a younger generation that’s mad as hell and isn’t going to take all the nagging while they’re online anymore, practically a third of all Germans between the ages of 65 and 74 have now succumbed to the terror and are using the malevolent ‘merican medium as best as they possibly can, which isn’t very good, but still. A full 60 percent of the jittery old codgers between the ages of 55 and 64 have been pressured into going online now too. The old wimps.
“Viele Senioren gingen nach kurzer Lernphase souverän mit dem Internet um.”
They didn’t mean US-Amerika, did they?
Waaay down there in fifth place, I mean.
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)
This gives the term united nations a whole new meaning.
Hitler more than a wussy
American researchers have set the scientific world and everybody else in an uproar by determining that Adolf Hitler’s bullet-punctured skull fragment actually belonged to a woman, thus making the evil Nazi dictator one of those herself.
“This explains a lot of those bizarre hysterical outbreaks of his, I mean hers,” one researcher said. “And that half-ass mustache. And being a vegetarian. Like it all fits together now or something.”
“Ist der Schädel überhaupt echt?”
I thought they’d never leave
The SPD.
“The SPD’s decline exemplifies the crisis for Europe’s once-mighty center-left parties, which are in disarray in the U.K., France, Italy, Poland and other countries amid divisions over how to balance social protections and business freedoms in an era of rising global competition.”
“The SPD is paying a heavy price for its own boldness in trimming Germany’s welfare state and partially deregulating the labor market under former Chancellor Gerhard Schröder. Those pragmatic moves lost the SPD many of its traditional working-class voters, and have left the party deeply split between centrists and left-wing traditionalists.”
“The voters have decided and the result is a bitter day for German Social Democracy.”
Berlin’s Mysterious U55
Jennifer M.
Sinister American computer games everywhere you look
Quentin Tarantino movies are still okay though because he’s not, well, a gamer and these are movies and, uh, he’s cultured or something.
“Counter-strike was developed by the US Army in order to reduce the violence threshold of soldiers.”
“That games like these lead to violence is obvious to me, despite the debatable scientific evidence.”
“Dass solche Killerspele die Hemmschwelle gegen Gewalt herabsetzen, ist für mich eindeutig, auch wenn wissenschaftliche Belege hierfür noch umstritten sind.”
