Losing Isn’t Everything II

Talk about a sore loser. One day after the Pirate “bring in the clowns” Party finally gets tossed out of the Berlin Senat for good, one clearly unbalanced Pirate politician poster boy electrocutes himself in his apartment in Berlin Steglitz (otherwise not exactly the most electrifying district in Berlin).


It gets even better, though (or worse, depending upon how you look at it). Word is now out that it looks as though he abused and murdered some other dude in his apartment before abusing and murdering himself.

And if that wasn’t shocking enough (shocking, get it?), Berlin’s SPD mayor Michael something or other, after getting reelected – sort of, the SPD having received during Sunday’s election the lowest percentage of votes ever for a “winning” government-forming party in Germany – well, this guy bans the press spokesman lady he just can’t get along with one of the most dreaded, cruel and unusual punishments known in all of Germany itself: Early retirement. The shocking part here? She’s 37. In Social Democracy anything is possible.

Berlin is kind of a wacko place, by the way.

Get A Job 101

You couldn’t make this stuff up if you had to, people. Not that anybody cares about Germany’s Pirate Party anymore, but I do have to admit that these guys still keep coming up with real zingers.

The latest coup: The party’s general manager in Berlin, Johannes Ponader, up until now a proud and long-term welfare recipient, is now celebrating his closing with this stage of his life (for now, anyway) by openly calling for public donations to help him finance his hard-pressed, well, livelihood (or lack of it).

Strangely, this actually seems to have upset some of the other pirates out there (they seem a bit touchy these days for some reason) who think that maybe this might cause some kind of a Glaubwürdigkeitsdilemma (credibility dilemma) or something. As if.

Like I said, not that anybody cares anymore or anything.

“Hier entsteht der Eindruck, dass jemand politische Ideen mit persönlichen Vorteilen verknüpft.” 

Going, Going…


This is what happens when you fail to deliver (even when nobody ever really knew what you were supposed to deliver in the first place). Hey, what goes around comes around. Or was it what comes around goes away? I, for one, thought they’d never be von gestern (yesterday’s news).

“Since the Pirates have been around, the optical decorum has lapsed, and it’s undignified.”

Pirates Shocked That Pirates Won’t Pay

Is this any way for a marauding mob of pilfering plunderers and freeloading freebooters to behave?

Worried about financial bottlenecks during upcoming election campaigns, Pirate party boss Bernd Schlömer has threatened to admonish dilinquent party members. Many (42 percent) have failed to pay their annual membership fee of 48 euros.

Nach Angaben von Schlömer haben rund 42 Prozent der mehr als 33.000 Mitglieder ihren Jahresbeitrag von 48 Euro noch nicht bezahlt. 

The Party Is Already Over?

For the Pirate Party in Germany, I mean?

Sheesh. Even I thought it would take them longer than this to roll over and die. But the latest Emnid poll shows that their popularity (or lack of it?) has rapidly dropped to the lowest level since March (8 percent compared to their all-time high of 12 percent).

But hey, what can you expect from a party with an ex-boss who advises voters not to vote for them anymore.

Auf die Frage „Sollen wir die Piraten wählen?“ würde er inzwischen mit „Nö, lassen Sie es lieber bleiben“ antworten. Er sei von der Bilanz der Fraktion „immens enttäuscht.“

Ex-Pirate Girl Treated Like Sex Object By Pirate Boys For Some Reason

She’s tired. She’s tired of being admired.

Just after walking the German Pirate Party plank due to exhaustion, ex-Pirate political manager Marina Weisband dropped the boom on her mobbing male marauders by outing them as being just as chauvanistic and sexist as male types everywhere else are, political or otherwise. Why who would have thought that? You sweet little…

Sie habe sich nie als “Star der Piraten” gesehen, sondern als “von den Medien gehypte Person.”

Germans Now Allowed To Shoot At Pirates

On land, even. No, not these pirates. These pirates down here.

Well, they won’t actually be shooting at the pirates per se (that would be bad), but more like at their equipment and stuff. You know, at the loot and the booty on the beaches? This will make the pirates run away and never come back again or at least become good or something.

It is all part of the EU’s anti-pirate Operation Atalanta off the Somali coast so it’s OK for Germans to do this, really.

The German opposition continues to criticise the operation as risky overreach for the forces and has vowed to vote against it.

Being A Pirate Sucks

I got your “aye me buckos” for you right here. Even the best-run running joke gets old after a while (or in this case the worst-run).

It turns out that too much transparancy leads to too much transparancy after all. That is: Finally being able to see that if you want to accomplish something in life (or even in politics, yuk), you’re going to have to work really, really, really hard for it.

Top pirate wench Marina Weisband quit first due to “health reasons” (she was clearly sick and tired of all this adolescent nonsense). Swashbuckling chairman of the Berlin pirate pack himself Gerhard Anger quit not long after that due to “the immense pressure” of having to actually get up every morning to go to work.

Like, life in the Internet was never like this. You can stick this reality bite crap back up to where the sun don’t shine, dude. A party “in tune with the Berlin vibe” is still a party. And every party has to come to an end sometime.

 „Ich ertrage diese emotionale Belastung nicht.”