How do you do this, Germany?

March 15, 2009 By in Habitudes Tags: 8 Comments

With all this gun control and pacifism of yours, I mean. “Germany is now second only to the US in terms of the number of deaths that have resulted from school shootings.”

 

  

 

Even some of you must realize by now that your attempts to find blame for these horror fests in that threatening, shadowy and sinister thing you see as US-Amerika leads nowhere but to your own damned front doorstep. People are sick all over, sicker than you are willing to admit, but if it makes you feel better…

 

Finding blame is a waste of time too, by the way. But that’s another sad story.

 

“Mass killer ‘rejected’ by girl at party.”

Speaking of spending…

March 13, 2009 By in Heconomy Tags: Leave a comment

This is news? Well the amount is rather newsworthy, I guess. That ever-busy German Federal Office for Statistics has just determined that American consumers spend more than their German counterparts do. Like, I had no idea.

 

 Consume doom

 

On average, the American consumer spends 5000 euros a year more than the German consumer does (and yes, there is more than one). But that was then and this is now. Americans apparently don’t want to spend so much anymore, for some strange reason, so it’s up to the Germans and Co. to pick up the slack and save the world’s economy and start shopping till they drop already.

 

I believe this will happen, too. But, then again, I also believe that Santa Claus is actually the Easter Bunny (and vice versa) and that monkeys regularly fly out of Peer Steinbrück’s… You know; ears.

 

„Demnach lagen im vergangenen Jahr die jährlichen Konsumausgaben pro Einwohner in Deutschland mit 17 073 Euro deutlich unter dem US-Wert von 22 457 Euro.“

Spend more, save less?

March 12, 2009 By in Heconomy Tags: 3 Comments

When it comes to Germany? Right. But I wish you a nice try though anyway, you G-20 finance minister folks meeting in London in three weeks.

 

Buy me!

 

“In asking the Germans to spend more and save less, for example, the United States is challenging not only the ingrained habits of a risk-averse people but the growth model upon which German industry is built and upon which millions of German jobs depend. The U.S. economy can’t generate enough demand by itself to pull the global economy out of the downturn, even with Mr. Obama’s stimulus — the recession has forced a dramatic and probably permanent increase in U.S. savings. Indeed, this is one reason that German exports are tanking. But Germany can’t just convert to a high-consumption model overnight. The same goes for Japan and much of Asia.”

 

That’s right, Germany. The big American spending party seems to finally be over at last (at least for now). Now it’s your turn. But don’t panic, it’s all about perception, remember (think Obama)? It can be the best of worlds if you want it, or it can be the worst of worlds. We all know which kind of world you have tended to lean to in the past, but these are exceptional times we are living in here, people. Make it happen (yes you can).

 

“Germany, Europe’s economic engine, ardently resists talk of a bailout for either old or new Europeans, fearing it will inevitably get stuck with the tab.”

Kenya will be a wonderful place to try pirates

March 11, 2009 By in Humor Tags: 1 Comment

“Back in Berlin, no one knew what to do at first. It seemed as though the relevant ministries were totally surprised by the unheard-of fact that the soldiers Germany had dispatched to the Gulf of Aden might actually catch some pirates.”

Don't you have a Guantanamo?

“All countries that have dispatched warships to patrol the coast of Somalia are in a difficult legal position as soon as they make arrests.”

 

“There is no logical reason for a Kenyan court to try to convict the suspects.”

What’s out is in and vice versa again

March 10, 2009 By in Hate Tags: Leave a comment

Funny how times change, or how perception does. When it comes to Afghanistan, I mean. Although one can argue over here (and some folks actually do) that when Barack Obama proposes to talk to “moderate” Taliban (?) he “not only openly admits to the catastrophic situation, he also openly admits his helplessness,” others welcome the move, of course, and are having one of those we-told-you-so kind of moments.

We're the moderate ones

“From sarcasm to outrage went the range of reactions when the the former head of the German Social Democrats, Kurt Beck, on the occasion of a visit to Afghanistan, suggested two years ago to negotiate with “moderate Taliban.” Now U.S. President Barack Obama has taken up exactly that proposal – and no one is laughing anymore.”

Well I’m certainly not. I’m shocked, to tell you the truth. As mentioned above, I think sarcasm to outrage are the proper reactions to such an idea.That such a proposal can actually even be considered today, much less considered to be salonfähig (socially acceptable), much less to be considered to be something that anybody could want to laugh about is beyond me. Talk about sad.

“The West simply can’t bumble about anymore in Afghanistan.” Says who?

Finanzmarktstabilisierungsgesetzverfassungsbeschwerde

March 9, 2009 By in Heconomy Tags: , 1 Comment

Say that word ten times real fast. Hurts, don’t it? But what does it mean, you ask? I’ll tell you what it means. Or at least I’ll try to tell you what it means. This is important, I think. This could be our way out. Out of the financial crisis, I mean.

 

Don't bank on this one

 

Finanzmarktstabilisierungsgesetzverfassungsbeschwerde means that some poor lady who invested with Lehmann Brothers a while back is going to take her “case” to the German supreme court and try and get her money back based on the premise that if the banks get bailed out, then why not her.

 

Of course her mom probably never told her that just because little Jimmy or a bunch of big honkin’ banks jump off the bridge by making unsound investments doesn’t mean that she has to do the same damned thing. I’m just sayin’.

 

And now that I’ve re-read what I just wrote I’m not at all sure what’s worse, Finanzmarktstabilisierungsgesetzverfassungsbeschwerde (the word) or my attempt to explain what it means.

 

„Finanzhilfen für notleidende Kreditinstitute – nicht aber für Privatpersonen?“

Recht haben wollen

March 8, 2009 By in Heconomy Tags: 1 Comment

Aber richtig sein (but is it right?). This sounds familiar somehow. Like, where’s the money? That’s what a German ex-Hypo Real Estate boss is wondering. No, not the millions and billions (I mix those up these days for some reason) that the soon-to-be-bankrupt bank burned up over years of mismanagement (he was a boss dude, remember?), it’s all about his million or two or three euro salary and benefits that he believes he still has coming to him, legally. And perhaps he does, legally. After all, he was fired from a well-paid job you know and it’s hard to find steady work as a banker these days.

 

I've got a wife and a kid to feed or something.

 

Ah, the days of wine and roses, or of corporate or even personal responsibility, if you prefer. There was a time when people had a sense of accountability for their actions, or at least a sense of decency, or at least I believe there used to be a time like that. I’m starting to wonder, though. Doesn’t the saying go that the more things change the more they stay the same? If so, then where has all that sense of accountability gone? It’s blowing in the wind or something. Or everybody has gone out of their senses.

 

„Der mittlerweile entlassene Institutsleiter Georg Funke will gerichtlich prüfen lassen, ob sein Vertrag weiter gilt.“

What do we do with these guys now?

March 6, 2009 By in Hate Tags: Leave a comment

Open up a detention camp on Sylt? Damn. I’m impressed doch (after all). A German frigate actually stopped a pirate attack off the coast of Somalia and took nine suspects into custody the other day. These guys were considered suspect because German and American helicopter crews caught them attacking a merchant vessal and later when they got busted their rocket-propelled grenade launchers were still smoking pretty good here and there, even though they claimed they were just out fishing, I’m sure.

 

 Yo, ho, ho, me buckos.

 

But what now? What does Germany do now with these icky yucky pirates? Hmmm, could it be that your problems just begin once you capture guys like this red-handed? It sounds familiar somehow, somewhere, sometimes.

 

“First, independent prosecutors in Hamburg need to decide whether the men should face trial in Germany. The German navy has given them all its evidence, and it is now up to them to say whether German interests were at stake during the attack. A specially convened commission, representing Germany’s Interior, Foreign, Defense and Justice ministries, met this week to discuss the legal status of the pirates — hitherto unchartered legal territory.”