Tag Archives: Technology

Book ’em if ya got ’em

May 2, 2010 By in Hi-tech Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The euros, I mean. And the nerves? Be the first kid on your block to book the maiden Lufthansa Super Airbus A380 flight from Germany to Japan and tell your grandchildren about it later (you could tell them about it beforehand but they probably wouldn’t believe you).

The “Frankfurt am Main” will be taking off from Frankfurt for Tokyo on June 11. Hope the Japanese don’t mistake the thing for Godzilla or Mothra or something.

Personally, I’m not quite “there in my head” just yet. This baby’s just too damned big and “if it’s not a Boeing I’m not going” and all that. Give me a little time though and I’ll be just fine.

Die Maschine ersetzt die bislang eingesetzte Boeing 747-400.

Deepwater wind farms?

April 27, 2010 By in Hi-tech Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Are they doof (dumb) or something?

There’s no freakin’ way those newfangled German commercial power windmills are ever going to be able to turn in the wind underwater.

The German government had originally hoped to open the first offshore wind farms as early as 2004.

PS: I gottcha Green Acres for ya right here.

More Internet Angst

March 21, 2010 By in Hard Facts Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Germany is still not the “digital society” some of you might assume it must be.

An organization called Initiative D21 just broke down Germany’s predominantly technophobic Internet angst population into several angst making groups:

The “digital outsiders”, 35% of the population, are actually frightened by computers and refuse to touch them.

The “occasional users” with 30% will actually use Internet technology from time to time but don’t ask them to work with it regularly or deal with things like Excel (I feel their pain about Excel, I must say).

The “digital pros” with 12% gladly work with Excel and even do PowerPoint, although I wouldn’t know why they would want to.

“Trend users” go further and even build websites and spend why too much time online – on the couch.

Then there’s the “digital avant-garde”, 3% of the population, the real sick puppy techno Internet freak types.

Personally, I don’t know what’s more worrisome; the first or the last group.

Die Deutschen sind immer noch Internet-Muffel

Technophobia time again

January 17, 2010 By in Hi-tech Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

According to an OECD study, German schools are way behind when it comes to offering their students modern digital technology/media.

That’s not all that surprising though, really. All this high-tech stuff is kind of spooky and dangerous over here for some reason. Google is pure evil these days, for instance. And we don’t even want to talk about Microsoft.

Actually, we do. The German Federal Office for Information Security  just warned against using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. It’s too vulnerable or something. It is the weak link in recent attacks on Google’s systems. But wait, wouldn’t that a good thing then? Whatever.

„Obwohl Deutschland eine der stärksten Wirtschaftsnationen ist, sind wir, wenn es um digitale Medien in der Schule geht, Letzter im OECD-Vergleich.”

Governor Schwarzenegger destroys cyborg arm sent from the future

March 4, 2009 By in Hi-tech Tags: Leave a comment

Claiming to have only wanted to save the world from marauding machines out to annihilate humanity, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger shocked Chancellor Angela Merkel and other visitors at Germany’s CeBIT technology fair yesterday by crushing an eerie cyborg arm which had been sent to the fair from the post-apocalyptic future. He did it with his bare hands, too.

 

 I will now terminate this handshake.

 

“What do you mean it’s from Japan?” asked a skeptical Schwarzenegger as a flustered Chancellor Merkel attempted to explain to him, in English (the governor avoids speaking German over here for some strange reason although we both know that you can, sir), that the arm posed no danger, especially now.

 

Governor Schwarzenegger then apologized and went on to give a speech about how technology will save us all. “Technology is really our great hope for creating extra revenues and stimulating the economy,” the governor said. “And as long as it doesn’t get beamed here from who knows when in one of those creepy burning spheres of plasma thingies, that’s OK by me.”

 

„Ich habe hier mehr Technologie gesehen als in meinem ganzen Leben.“