The German Culture Cult Thinks War Is Bad

And that it should be stopped immediately. And the rest of us need to know that they think war is bad and that we, the less-cultured, should think it is bad too. War ain’t got no culture, in other words.

I know!, the cultured say after brainstorming. We’ll hold a “Concert for Peace.” That’s never been tried before. We will also make paintings of doves holding olive branches. That ought to have the desired effect. Anti-war books are also in the process of being written. Once they are published and airlifted to those making war, and read by them, this will definitely stop the war, provided it hasn’t been stopped already by, I dunno, all the cultured people of the world holding hands together and singing “Imagine” while waving Ukrainian flags with “No war!” on them to “express solidarity” or “make a statement” or “set a sign” and bring an end to this awful, culture-less conflict.*

But be warned, you war mongers out there: If none of this works, the culture may escalate. And you don’t want that.

*Yes, it’s true. Cultured people can hold hands together and wave a flag at the same time.

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