European Gazprom Lobby Outraged By US Senate Bill

A US Senate bill aimed at toughening sanctions on Russia has been slammed by leading members of the European Gazprom lobby as a dirty American trick to promote bad American liquefied petroleum gas and squeeze out good Russian gas from the European market.

Gazprom

The two outraged Gazprom spokespersons, German foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel (SPD) and German chancellor Angela Merkel, reminded the Americans that “Europe’s energy supply is a matter for Germany, that is, Europe to decide and not for the United States of America! We, as Germans, would never put our own economic interests before those of other countries or continents so like stop doing it immediately already. Did I just say we, as Germans? I meant we, as Europeans, of course.”

Ex-Kanzler Gerhard Schröder (SPD) leitet den Verwaltungsrat des Unternehmens Nord Stream II, das dem russischen Energiekonzern Gazprom gehört. Kürzlich erst hatten sich Gabriel, Schröder und der russische Präsident Wladimir Putin am Rande des russischen internationalen Wirtschaftsforums in St. Petersburg getroffen. Schröder hatte auf dem Forum für den Bau der Nordstream-Pipeline geworben.

 

German Intelligence Intelligent Enough

Or at least that’s what one intelligent German intelligence official said today. “We have a proven track record.”

Spies

“And we can monitor our own elections and watch out on our own for any disinformation spread by Russia, thank you. Without any American help, I mean. That’s because we’re offended. And we want you Americans to know that we’re offended. And you Russians, too. And the rest of the world, for that matter. That’s just how intelligent we are. So write disinformation down in a safe place somewhere and stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

Earlier this month, Adm. Mike Rogers, director of the National Security Agency, said the U.S. watched Russia hack into France’s computer networks during the country’s election. U.S. officials warned their French counterparts of the hacking before it became public.

But Germany Would Defend Its NATO Allies If US-Amerika Attacked

This just in: Majority of Germans wouldn’t support defending NATO allies in Russia conflict. Why doesn’t that surprise anybody?

NATO

According to the US think tank, which interviewed people in European countries, the US and Canada, “NATO’s image is improving on both sides of the Atlantic.” The Alliance enjoys high approval ratings in Poland and the Netherlands (both on 79%). Germany ranks third in the list on 67%, followed by Canada (66%), the US and United Kingdom (both 62%), France (60%) and Spain (45%)…

The results showed that Germany would support military intervention by NATO less than any other country. Only 40% of respondents would back military support for a partner in “serious military conflict” with Russia.

Auch in Deutschland stehen die meisten Befragten hinter der Allianz – bei einem Konflikt mit Russland würde jedoch nur eine Minderheit ein Partnerland verteidigen.

Germans Think Renewed Storming Of Reichstag A Bad Idea

Disturbed about Moscow’s plans to have hordes of young Russians storm the German Reichstag, concerned politicians in Berlin wish to stress that this could led to a dangerous militarization of Russia’s youth.

Friends

“Friends just do not storm friends,” one top official said, also noting that a new attack upon the German capital would only contribute to a further deterioration of Russia’s relationship with Germany, a relationship that is growing increasingly estranged at the moment. Russian politicians could not be reached for comment as the Russian capital has been moved to a secret location due to fears of an imminent German youth attack.

“Oh, this Reichstag is in Russia somewhere?” another top official asked later, finally figuring out that this is all just a big game. “That’s pretty deplorable, too.”

The replica of Berlin’s historical Reichstag, which has housed the seat of Germany’s parliament since 1999, will be built in “Patriot Park” and be used by the Russian youth movement, called “Junarmija”  or “young army.”

Russia Scared?

Of 17 German officers and 30 Belgian troops who have just arrived in Lithuania?

Troops

I’m scared, too. Or at least I was. That I hadn’t read that right, I mean. But now I’m scared again because I checked once more and I did read that right: German troops land in Lithuania amid Russia fears.

Though political parties within Germany – whose national history makes it a hesitant military leader – clashed over the deployment of German troops, Lithuanian President Dalia Grybauskaite greeted Germany’s decision to lead the NATO forces as a “breakthrough” for the future of European defense.

Moscow, on the other hand, has criticized the move as an example of NATO aggression against Russia.

Germans Worried American Tanks Could Be Dangerous

The “risky roadshow” now rolling across Germany toward Poland could be, I dunno, an “embodiment of the United States’ commitment to deterring aggression and defending our European Allies and partners” or something.

Tanks

And who could possibly want that?

Some 3,500 troops from the 4th Infantry Division in Fort Carson, Colorado, will join up with the equipment, which includes 87 tanks and 144 Bradley fighting vehicles, over the next two weeks… The new forces will gather first in Poland, then fan out across seven countries from Estonia to Bulgaria. A headquarters unit will be stationed in Germany.

Bedrohliche Musik, Bilder bewaffneter Milizionäre in der Ukraine, Karten eines sich nach Westen ausbreitenden Russlands: Die US-Armee in Europa hat auf ihrer Website ein Video über ihre Operation “Atlantic Resolve” (“Atlantische Entschlossenheit”) veröffentlicht: Die Botschaft: Nach der Besetzung der Krim und der Destabilisierung der Ostukraine könnte Russlands nächstes Opfer ein EU-Land sein, weshalb die US-Armee Europa zur Hilfe eilt.

Russia Trying To Destabilize Germany But Germany Still Way Better

Germans were shocked upon learning today that Russia is trying to destabilize German society with propaganda and cyber attacks ahead of next year’s general election, many fearing that the unwanted foreign competition could stifle their own government’s efforts to do the same.

Russia

“The Russians should mind their own damned business and concentrate on destabilizing their own society,” one irate commentator said. “We have the will, the means, the experience and the elected and non-elected officials to do so on our own, thank you. And we’re talking ‘made in Germany’ quality here, people. So go take a flying leap at a rolling pirozhki already.”

The warning was the bluntest public claim yet from Germany’s BfV agency about Moscow’s alleged campaign of disinformation and hacking targeting Europe’s biggest economy.

Fearless Leader: “Russian Cyber Attack Ain’t No Big Deal”

It was only 900,000 users, after all. For only a day or two. And is probably only just the beginning, so don’t worry. Be happy. And now sitzen machen!

Merkel

Cyber attacks from Russia are now so common that Germany must learn to cope with them as part of daily life, Chancellor Angela Merkel said Tuesday, after Europe’s top economy suffered its largest ever online assault.

She then moved on to more pressing matters. Like preparing to take a tough stand on the UK for Brexit or worrying about hate-speech on Facebook. Stuff like that.

“Such cyber attacks, or hybrid conflicts as they are known in Russian doctrine, are now part of daily life and we must learn to cope with them.”

The Land Of Wishful Thinking

Das Land der frommen Wünsche, that’s what Reinhard Veser from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung calls it. And he means by this the place were what remains of Germany’s Social Democratic Party is now living when it comes to Putin’s Russia.

Putin

That the SPD would want to go back to the old days of SPD Ostpolitik (“change through rapprochement”), a time when twice as many voters voted for them as do today, is quite understandable. There is just one slight but fundamental difference here: During that cold war (they called it The Cold War back then), the Soviet Union wanted to keep the status quo and the Federal Republic of Germany’s recognition of East Germany contributed to this, benefiting the West, as well. Putin’s Russia wants territory, however, not the status quo.

By bending over backwards with the most absurd compilation of contortions to “understand” a Russia they clearly do not understand (see Germany’s current SPD foreign minister), the SPD shows us that it already has plans to move from the Land of Wishful Thinking to the Pays of Appeasement. Or is it living there already? How unimaginative political policy can be. And how delusional.

Die sozialdemokratischen Ostpolitiker haben es schon einmal nicht bemerkt, als die Voraussetzungen für ihren Ansatz im Osten Europas weggefallen sind – das war, als Solidarność in den achtziger Jahren die kommunistische Diktatur ins Wanken brachte. Damals hat das nur ihrem Ruf in Ostmitteleuropa geschadet. Wenn ihre alten Illusionen heute wieder in die Russland-Politik einfließen, droht ein weit größerer Schaden.

Germany Planning To Unveil Secret Hell-Freezing-Over Device

They must be. Otherwise they wouldn’t be so delusional about thinking that they could ever have the bittiest little chance of getting a permanent seat on the UN Security Council.

UN

I don’t know what German foreign minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier (SPD) has been smoking these past few days but he has certainly been on a roll. This is the same guy, mind you, who just accused the NATO of warmongering by staging military exercises in support of its eastern NATO members (they appear to be concerned about some other types of exercises being carried out by another way big non-NATO country just a bit further down the road).

And now he thinks that a toothless, nay-saying nation like Germany somehow has the right to determine policy in the body that is at least nominally charged with the maintenance of international peace and security? Like I said. It must be some really good stuff.

Steinmeier, an honor graduate from the Neville Chamberlain Institute of Applied Appeasement, now specializes in mistaking cause and effect and is also branching out into the popular field of abandoning worried NATO neighbor countries in the East.