What Wussies

These Germans. They’re all worried about some horrible war just a few miles down the road and ever-growing inflation that looks as though it might be spiralling out of control.

They should worry about real problems, like they used to. You know, like their plans for this year’s third vacation, their next second car, finally starting that diet, which weekend demonstration to take part in, etc.

Germans worry about war and inflation – The German government is supporting Ukraine, battling inflation, and combatting climate change. A monthly survey has asked voters how they rate the efforts.

The war is driving up energy prices, but food prices have also risen significantly. Almost half of all respondents said they already have to cut back significantly because of this. Among low-income earners, 77% say they are beginning to struggle…

How Germany Was Divided After World War II?

Pretty much in half.

And it sure is reassuring to know that a big European war like that could never, ever happen again. Cold or otherwise. Right?

The situation in Germany after World War II was dire. Millions of Germans were homeless from Allied bombing campaigns that razed entire cities. And millions more Germans living in Poland and East Prussia became refugees when the Soviet Union expelled them. With the German economy and government in shambles, the Allies concluded that Germany needed to be occupied after the war to assure a peaceful transition to a post-Nazi state.

What the Allies never intended, though, was that their temporary solution to organize Germany into four occupation zones, each administered by a different Allied army, would ultimately lead to a divided Germany.

“Only over time, as the Cold War eroded trust between the Soviet Union and the Western Allies, did these occupation zones coalesce into two different German nations.”

The German Culture Cult Thinks War Is Bad

And that it should be stopped immediately. And the rest of us need to know that they think war is bad and that we, the less-cultured, should think it is bad too. War ain’t got no culture, in other words.

I know!, the cultured say after brainstorming. We’ll hold a “Concert for Peace.” That’s never been tried before. We will also make paintings of doves holding olive branches. That ought to have the desired effect. Anti-war books are also in the process of being written. Once they are published and airlifted to those making war, and read by them, this will definitely stop the war, provided it hasn’t been stopped already by, I dunno, all the cultured people of the world holding hands together and singing “Imagine” while waving Ukrainian flags with “No war!” on them to “express solidarity” or “make a statement” or “set a sign” and bring an end to this awful, culture-less conflict.*

But be warned, you war mongers out there: If none of this works, the culture may escalate. And you don’t want that.

*Yes, it’s true. Cultured people can hold hands together and wave a flag at the same time.

Tough As Nails

Or as Jell-O, at least. Here’s the latest “Money Makes The World Go Around” going around in Germany (some still refer to it as “the EU”).

Cutting off Russia from the SWIFT global interbank payment system should not be part of the second EU sanctions package against Russia that EU leaders will decide upon at a meeting on Thursday in Brussels, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said.

He’s right, of course. Doing that would be one of the only things that would actually hurt Putin & Co. and that would be counterproductive.

Die Swift-Keule kommt nicht zum Einsatz.

This Will Show Them Russkies

And if lighting up stuff in the national colors of Ukraine doesn’t help, we may have to consider building a Menschenkette (a chain of people holding hands). As a last resort, we MIGHT even ask them to sing We Shall Overcome. So, like watch it, Putin. Give peace a chance, or something.

Berlin and Paris illuminate buildings in Ukrainian colours in show of unity – The German capital lit up the Brandenburg Gate, Berlin’s most famous landmark in blue and yellow, the national colours of Ukraine, on Wednesday evening in a show of unity with Kyiv as the crisis with Russia deepens.

U-1021 2020

A German U-boat that sank off the British coast during World War II has been captured on camera in remarkable images.

Sub

The pictures were taken by diving contractor Dive Newquay, which took a group of divers to see the remains of U-1021, British news agency SWNS reports. The vessel lies 9 nautical miles off the coast of Cornwall.

“The U1021 lies about nine nautical miles from Newquay Harbour and sits in 55m [180 feet] of water,” a Dive Newquay spokesperson told the news outlet. “Dives of this depth are considered technical, which require special planning and different breathing gasses.”

The wreck is near two other U-boats that also sank during the war.

U-1021 served with 31st U-boat Flotilla before disappearing in March 1945.

This Could Mean War Or Something

Tariff war. World War T. You know, the end of the world as we know it? Then it’s all over but the crying. And the Zombie Apocalypse. It’ll be  Zombie Apocalypse Now, so-to-speak.

Steel

Yawn.

Berlin holds little hope that the EU will be granted a further exemption from US metals tariffs beyond a May 1 deadline. Washington has offered the bloc a reprieve to speed up talks on a series of trade issues.

The German news agency DPA reported on Thursday that the upcoming meeting between Chancellor Angela Merkel and US President Donald Trump — scheduled for the weekend — was unlikely to win the EU a further exemption from higher steel and aluminum tariffs planned by Washington.

Citing government sources, DPA said the Trump administration’s plans to impose a 25 percent tariff on steel and 10 percent on aluminum imports to the United States would likely come into effect on May 1.

But maybe something miraculous will happen at the absolutely very last second to hold off trade war Armageddon. Maybe it won’t. Hard to say for sure so be sure to stay tuned.

Bundesregierung befürchtet Handelskrieg mit den USA

German Soldiers To Put Even More Blitz In Blitzkrieg

They have to. No more overtime will be allowed during regular wartime hours so get ‘er done quick, men. I mean persons.

Overtime

The German military, once the most feared fighting force in Europe, is being forced to lay down its weapons by restrictive new overtime limits.

German soldiers taking part in a four-week Nato exercise in Norway earlier this year had to leave after just 12 days because they had gone over their overtime limits, it has emerged…

Under the latest reforms, in force since January, the military working week has been reduced to 41 hours and troops can no longer be paid for working overtime.

Stell dir vor, es ist Krieg, und die Bundeswehr muss Überstunden abbauen.

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

Dear Hollywood

It’s Christmas season so here’s my wish. I know your first and foremost priority is to bash everything time-honored and traditional about us (as in US). I understand and respect that (actually I don’t, that was just a figure of speech). But seeing what’s going on in the world at this moment I would really appreciate it if you could possibly consider bringing back one of your own time-honored genres: The wartime drama. You know, like Casablanca? You could refer to it as a wartime propaganda film if that makes you feel better about it, of course.

Casablanca

I would like this Casablanca to have a Muslim hero in it, however. A Muslim Rick, so-to-speak. The reason being that one of the obvious intentions of the ISIS attacks in France (coming to Germany soon!) is to incite hatred against the Muslims living here and to hopefully, from their point of view, have this hatred lead to some form of civil war in ze Europe.

This may have seemed far-fetched a short time ago but a thoughtful look at the current atmosphere in Germany, for instance, should convince you that this is well within the realm of the possible.

The Traumfabrik (dream factory) needs to give us a positive Muslim role model here, in other words. The “normal,” moderate Muslims living here need one erst recht (all the more). This Ric, too, will need to do the right thing and combat the evil that is terrorizing us all and explain to everyone how it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, of course.

I know you’re busy and all these days and I really hate to bother you (another figure of speech) but I’m just thinking out loud here.

PS: Scarlett Johansson would make a great Ingrid Bergman character. No head scarves or anything, though.