Well, That Was Like Pulling Zähne

As in teeth. Better late than never, I guess.

Hisbollah

German government bans Hezbollah — Interior Ministry – Authorities have designated Hezbollah a terrorist organization and banned its activity on German soil. Police are currently conducting raids on four associations linked to the Islamist group…

Banning Hezbollah could strain relations between Germany and Iran. However, Iran is dependent on good relations with Germany and the European Union, exemplified most recently by the use of Instex, an EU-Iran trading mechanism designed to skirt US-imposed sanctions and export medical supplies to the pandemic-hit country. 

“Police measures are underway in several federal states concurrently. In times of crisis, the rule of law is able to act.”

German Of The Day: Versehentlich

That means by accident. By accident, Mr. President? Really?

Iran

I don’t believe in accidents. I’ve seen too many of them.

In gaff, German president’s office slams Iran on Islamic Revolution anniversary – In what observers are calling an embarrassing error, the office of Germany’s president sent a message to Iran to mark the 41st anniversary of the Islamic Revolution, even though he wanted to send no message given the political situation there.

Frank-Walter Steinmeier’s office “mistakenly” sent the telegram, which was prepared in advance in case the president chose to use it, Berlin’s Tagesspiegel newspaper reported.

Im vergangenen Jahr hatten die Glückwünsche Kritik unter anderem vom Präsidenten des Zentralrats der Juden, Josef Schuster, hervorgerufen. Der Iran droht Israel mit der Vernichtung.

Massive German Troop Reduction Underway In Iraq

30 of the 120 German soldiers stationed there are to be immediately flown to safety.

Iraq

However, it was unclear at this time just who will be flying them out as the German military doesn’t have any aircraft that actually fly.

Germany is moving some of its military personnel from Iraq to neighboring countries over security concerns, the government told lawmakers, days after the killing of a top Iranian military commander in a U.S. drone strike.

Einige der in Bagdad und Tadschi stationierten Truppen sollen den Irak vorerst verlassen. Laut Verteidigungsministerin erfolgt der Teilabzug aus Sicherheitsgründen.

German Foreign Minister Concerned That The Middle East Could Now Become Destabilized

After the drone attack that killed top terrorist Qasem Soleimani, I mean. Well, we certainly wouldn’t want that.

Heiko

We can all sleep safer at night knowing that seasoned professional diplomats like Heiko Maas are always on the world stage ball ever prepared to lecture the United States about problems their own countries haven’t the slightest clue about dealing with. Or the will to do so if they did. Good intentions make the world go around.

Comments made by the foreign minister demonstrate that in case of Iranian aggression, the federal government will not take sides with America. Germany has no answer to the aggresive Iranian expanansion and wallows in the role of de-escalator.

“In the coming days, we will do all we can to counteract a further escalation of the situation – in the United Nations, the EU and in dialogue with our partners in the region, including in talks with Iran.”

Durch die Aktion“ sei es „nicht einfacher geworden, Spannungen abzubauen. Das habe ich auch @SecPompeo deutlich gesagt“. Es wird den amerikanischen Außenminister schwer beeindruckt haben.

Germans Too Busy Killing Hitler To Help Allies

It’s another German oddity kinda thang. And one of my personal favorites.

Hitler

Germans hide from responsibility today by routinely ritualizing  how they hid from responsibility in the past. And don’t kid yourself. They are perfectly aware of what they are doing.

Germany will not join US naval mission in Strait of Hormuz – Foreign Minister Heiko Maas said Germany will not be taking part in a US-led mission to secure oil tanker ships sailing near Iran. The US ambassador in Berlin slammed the decision, saying Germany has responsibilities.

“Hardly any other country is as dependent on the freedom of international shipping as export champions Germany.”

An Absolute Shocker!

That the US would even waste time asking Germany in the first place, I mean.

Germany

Germany rejects US request for help in the Gulf – Foreign ministry focuses on ‘de-escalation and diplomatic efforts’ as tensions rise.

And dialogue. The journalist here forgot to mention dialogue. Whenever Germany shirks its responsibility as an ally (and this happens with astounding regularity) the German foreign minister du jour suggests opening a so-called dialogue instead – knowing, of course, that this dialogue will never lead anywhere but that it will enable Germany to shirk its responsibilities in a more subtle, indirect manner.

Tensions in the Gulf have reignited a German debate over the country’s readiness to take on a larger role in global affairs with critics charging that Berlin should step up its involvement by taking part in a possible naval mission to the region.

Berlin has come under pressure from the UK and the US to increase its engagement in the Gulf after Iran seized a British-flagged tanker in the Strait of Hormuz this month.

But on Tuesday Germany rebuffed a formal Washington request for support, saying it would not contribute to a US-led naval mission in the region.

“This is a classical case of ducking your responsibility. You see that something has to be done but you say: Not me.”

German Word Of The Day Except That It’s An English One: Mull

That means to study or ruminate, ponder, to think about carefully, consider, again and again, with great care, for an exceedingly long period of time, until the thing you are mulling about has taken care of itself and you are conveniently off the hook. Again.

Gulf

It also means to mess up or make a failure of.

Germany mulls joining European Persian Gulf naval mission – Pressure is growing on the German government to lend its military weight to a potential European naval mission in the Persian Gulf. The UK government floated the idea of a joint European operation last Monday.

“Hardly any other country is as dependent on the freedom of international shipping as export champions Germany.”

Someone Call The German Foreign Minister!

What you call him is entirely up to you. He needs to contact his buddies in Iran ASAP.

Tanker

German Tanker Attacked in the Golf of Oman.

Deutscher Tanker im Golf von Oman angegriffen – ++ Auch norwegisches Schiff attackiert ++ Norwegische Seefahrtsbehörde meldet drei Explosionen ++ Besatzungsmitglieder evakuiert ++

German Of The Day: Erfolglos

And while we’re at it, fassungslos und ahnungslos.

Fassungslos

That means unsuccessful, stunned and clueless, respectively. And all three apply to Germany’s foreign minister Heiko Maas, who just got a taste of the real world in Tehran during his pitiful attempt to salvage what is left of the 2015 nuclear agreement with Iran – for world peace, of course (and for German corporate interests in the region, coincidentally).

The German foreign minister appeared somehow surprised to discover that the mullahs are upset with Europe as “so far, we have not seen practical and tangible steps from the Europeans to guarantee Iran’s interests.” This is because, well, they can’t. If you aim at being weak long and hard  enough then weak you shall be. But there’s a bright side to this, I guess. German diplomacy would not be German diplomacy without the foreign ministers fervent hope that “ways can be found to reduce current tensions through dialogue.” Good luck with that, Heiko.

By the way, anybody in Germany who repeats the word “dialogue” long and hard enough can become German foreign minister, too.

Außenminister Maas in Iran – Zwischen erfolglos und fassungslos.

Germany To Lead From Behind Again

This time from far behind. You know, like from way, way, way far behind? But still.

Iran

Germany looks to ‘lead’ US-Iran talks– in what is clearly a noble effort to bring peace to the region and profits to the German corporations still sexually aroused about doing business with Iran despite the collapse of the 2015 nuclear agreement – and, of course, to take an indirect swipe at Israel in the process while they’re at it already.

“The latest escalation requires us as European neighbors to intervene in favor of de-escalation and peaceful coexistence,” German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas told reporters during an unannounced stop to Iraq. “We cannot just seek dialogue, we must lead it, precisely where the differences seem insurmountable and long-simmering conflicts run deep.”

“Das ist eine Reise in die Krise.”