Gimme an N!

Gimme an A! Gimme a T! Gimme an O!

 

 Friends forever.

 

What’s that spell (if your German)?

No more Afghanistan Troops, Obama!

What’s that spell (if your German)?

No more Afghanistan Troops, Obama!

What’s that spell (if your German)?

No more Afghanistan Troops, Obama!

 

Don’t ask. Just felt like doing a little NATO Woodstock kind of thing today.

 

“His NATO allies are giving the president considerable vocal support for the newly integrated strategy. But they are giving him very few new troops on the ground, underlining the fundamental strains in the alliance.”

YouTube German style

Germans have this thing with G words. You know, like Gier (greed) or Geld (money)? Your money, actually (and their greed). If you live here, that is.

 

 I been framed!

 

Whether it’s the Gebühreneinzugszentrale (the television fee collecting central office or GEZ) or the GEMA (Germany‘s music royalty organization) or even the Government itself, all of these wonderful agencies are out to collect taxes, fees and royalties. And all of this is for your own good, of course. And this is so because, well, if they didn’t do it, no one else would.

 

And that is why as of yesterday, Google (another G Word, by the way) no longer allows users with German IP addresses to watch music videos on YouTube. Negotiations broke down between the music industry and Google over compensation for copyright holders because the GEMA wants, well, way too much. But like I said, they’re only doing this for your own good. And mine, too.

 

Hey, wait a minute. Come to think of it, German is a G Word, too.

 

“In addition to this squabbling over the per-song licensing rate, GEMA accused Google of a lack of transparency when it comes to which songs were played, and how many times they were played.”

Bush in black?

Gerhard Schröder had his “reasons”, is Angie going to jump on the bandwagon now, too? Or is she already long gone down that road – ist der Zug schon abgefahren (did this train already leave the station)? It is a campaign year here in Germany after all, you know.

 

Remember the way we were?

 

“Mr. Obama speaks of a global crisis that demands global responses. For the Germans, this is indeed a global crisis — but one that must be resolved primarily by the U.S., since it originated there. Therefore, German finance companies that became entangled in dodgy speculations are seen as weak victims who were seduced, while the clever American seducers who caused the real-estate bubble must now be punished.

Now the victims are claiming the right to say “no” to new stimulus packages. And they are demanding that the U.S. never again be permitted to seduce — that it be constrained by “more transparency on the financial markets, which Germany called for long ago,” as Mrs. Merkel says.”

“Before the Iraq war, George Bush succeeded in splitting Europe into the old and the new. In the financial crisis, the Continent is unified in its opposition toward his successor, Barack Obama.”

We’re caught in our safety nets

And we like it. Ask the Germans.

 

 I'm fighting the financial crisis my own way.

 

Who needs a big stimulus package when the German state has never been anything other than a big stimulus package itself? Or at least that appears to be the way the thinking goes here right now.

 

Europe loves Obama, but they don’t love him that much. Locked in to their so-called social safety nets which already drain them of the cash and maneuverability they might otherwise have for stimulating the economy now, the Europeans will predictably preach stricter regulation at this weekend’s G-20 summit instead (that doesn’t cost anything).

 

No talk or even thought of big spending or safety net cold turkey here, folks, most certainly not in a German election year. And the President probably feels their pain, too. He can’t even quit smoking.

 

Europe’s extensive job protections and unemployment benefits are bad in the upswing, because firms don’t dare to hire people, because then they are glued to them.”

The road to hell

No, I don’t mean that AC/DC song. I’m talking about President Obama’s trip to Europe this week (and thanks to you Mr. Ex-Minister Czech guy). Talk about a breaking fever (in this case Europe’s Obama one). I was sure this infatuation would last at least six months. But, then again, I was also sure about the lasting value of that Florida swamp land I bought a few years back, too.

 

 

 

“The tidal wave of expectation and enthusiasm that Obama rode into the White House is giving way to a more cautious reception in Europe as the administration’s policies begin to take shape.” More cautious? That’s about the most cautious term you can use for it.

 

“His policies are not exactly the change that they can believe in.”

The Case of the Missing Bruderkuss

Funny, they don’t look like brothers to me.

 

We just love communism!

 

But when it comes to “brotherly kisses”, nobody can beat the famous Brezhnev and Honecker Schmatzer (smacker) on the famous East Side Gallery wall in Berlin. Especially now, because it’s not there anymore. As reported earlier, the gallery is getting renovated and thorough Berlin bureaucrats, being thorough Berlin bureaucrats, have had the mural removed.

 

And they don’t understand the artist’s excitement about the incident, either, being thorough Berlin bureaucrats, like I said. Once the wall has been renovated, they say, all he has to do is paint a new Bruderkuss mural.

 

Sounds reasonable enough to me. Do you think Michelangelo would have gotten all hot and bothered about somebody removing his Bruderkuss mural from the Sistine Chapel, had there been one? I didn’t think so.

 

 

„Der Mann soll das Bild einfach neu malen.“

Trains, planes and automobiles

But mostly trains, really. Still not willing to take that first step toward recovery by openly recognizing that they even have a serious problem, scores of Germans in denial (yesterday’s retiree bludgeon murderer at Old Hermann has most certainly been among them) won’t stop visiting the world’s largest model train set at Hamburg’s “Miniature Wonderland.”  

 

Wie wunderbar or something.

 

“Set on three floors in an old warehouse along the Elbe River, Miniatur Wunderland features realistic replicas of parts of Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland, Austria and the U.S. Figurines about a half-inch (just over one-centimeter) high represent people in all walks of life.”

You have to bring your own sleeping bag, though. Yawn, Schnarch (yawn) already. Or I would have to, if I ever go, which I won’t. Not even for money, unless it’s a whole lot, maybe. I don’t believe in wonderlands. I’ve seen too many of them.

“Es ist ein Traum.” (or a Tram?)

All the news that’s not fit to print

What? Reprinting actual Nazi newspapers from the 1930’s and allowing German Menschen (people) in the year 2009 to actually, gulp, read them? Why that’s, why that’s… That’s history!

 

 There's no news like old news.

 

Das Unheil (calamity) always comes from somewhere else, you see (Hitler was an Austrian, for instance). Now it’s coming from England (even Germans get tired of reading about US-Amerika all the time). Some British terrorist journalist type has somehow managed to manipulate a Bavarian court that just ruled he can continue to publish his annotated “Witness Reports” series down there.

 

This is bad or something I guess because Germans are more susceptible to Nazi propaganda from the 1930s than others are I suppose and like with hypnosis I assume they are pre-programmed or even genetically predetermined to start foaming at the mouth and marching into Poland whenever things like this get published I guess, again (funny how you can’t get them to march into southern Afghanistan though).

 

Alles ist verboten was nicht ausdrücklich erlaubt ist.

John Lennon High still giving peace a chance

Continuing to show solidarity for John and Yoko’s heroic efforts to end that dirty war over there in Vietnam, students at Berlin’s John-Lennon-Gymnasium will be honoring this forty-year-old battle for peace by voluntarily coming to school an hour later next year.

Give me peace.

Students have voted to begin instruction next semester at nine o’clock instead of eight o’clock in the morning, effectively increasing Lennon’s “Bed-in” action by some 35,000 man/woman/student hours per year.

“Da sind wir Vorreiter für Deutschland.”