Germans Worried About TTIP

Oops, I meant TATP, of course.


TATP stands for triacetone triperoxide and is an extremely powerful explosive substance that was found in the Chemnitz apartment of a Syrian refugee, an apartment German police raided just minutes after the suspect escaped.

This is the same stuff that was used by the suicide bombers in Paris last November. German state media is therefore going to go way out on the limb here for once and speculate that this particular refugee “might” have been involved in a so-called “terrorist” plot. Details at eleven or something.

Stunned residents reacted to the incident last night, with one neighbour slamming Albakr as an ‘a*******’ for his alleged plot – what a racist, xenophobic a******* that neighbour must be.

Die Polizei überwachte die Chemnitzer Wohnung, in der Sprengstoff gefunden wurde. Doch die Beamten konnten Jaber A. nicht stoppen, als der das Haus verließ.

German Of The Day: Spießrutenlauf

That means running the gauntlet. You know, like the kind Angela Merkel and other politicians had to run through today during the German Reunification Day celebrations in Dresden?


Several hundred angry protesters confronted German Chancellor Angela Merkel outside Dresden‘s majestic Frauenkirche church on Monday morning, bringing Europe’s most powerful leader face-to-face with criticism of her migration policies on the 26th anniversary of German reunification.

Merkel arrived in Dresden to celebrate German Unity Day, the national holiday that marks the official reunification in 1990 of West Germany and former communist East Germany following the fall of the Berlin Wall.

But the chancellor was met with blaring whistles and hundreds of angry protesters chanting “Traitor of the people!” and “Merkel must go!” as she entered the church, which was surrounded by hundreds of protesters behind metal barricades that were lined with police officers.

Auch wenn viele Menschen friedlich feiern konnten, die rund 2600 Sicherheitskräfte die Situation bislang unter Kontrolle behielten: Stellenweise ging es gar nicht gut.

Germany To Remain Germany

Attempting to calm current fears that Germany could possibly turn into France, Mexico or even Lithuania, German Líder Máximo Angela Merkel herself has assured her nervous countrymen that this will most definitely not be happening.


Not any time soon, at least. “It is not being actively pursued at the moment,” she elucidated.

These irrational fears came about after the population discovered well over a million foreign residents living next door to them who seem to have suddenly materialized out of nowhere, fueling speculation by some that they could be from one of those three countries. “They don’t speak French very well, though,” said one member of the population when asked. “And nobody is wearing a sombrero. I’ve never been to Lithuania myself so maybe they’re like from there or something.”

“Change is not a bad thing — it is a necessary part of life,”

Shocking Survey Results Just In

Who would have thought that? According to the GfK Verein market research company in Nuremberg, 83 percent of Germans asked suddenly consider immigration to be Germany’s biggest challenge, a percentage twice as high as the survey indicated just one year ago. This is also a higher number than in any of the other 23 countries surveyed.


And this is a survey that took place back in February and March, mind you.

What could ever be the cause? And whatever happened to good old-fashioned German Willkommenskultur (welcome culture), anyway?

83 Prozent aller Deutschen bereiten Zuwanderung und Integration Kopfzerbrechen – so vielen wie in keinem anderen der 23 Teilnehmer-Länder der Studie. Im Vergleich zum Vorjahr hat sich der Wert mehr als verdoppelt; damals lag er bei 35 Prozent.

German Of The Day: Starrsinnig

That means stubborn or obstinate.


Merkel, Juncker und Schulz – das starrsinnige Trio

When looking to find the guilty parties for Brexit, most of the British who voted to remain in the EU are quick to name the three names of Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker and, above all, Angela Merkel. These EU advocates are convinced that the vote would have turned out completely different if these three had only shown a modicum of understanding for David Cameron’s urgent wish to submit a reform treaty to the British voters that would have deserved the name. This did not happen, however. And thus the obstinate trio frivolously created the basis for Britain’s turning away from the EU. Now the parliament is in an an uproar.

Bei der Suche nach den Schuldigen für den Brexit nennen die meisten derjenigen Briten, die für den EU-Verbleib stimmten, die Namen Martin Schulz, Jean-Claude Juncker und vor allem Angela Merkel. Die EU-Befürworter sind davon überzeugt, dass das Votum gänzlich anders ausgefallen wäre, wenn diese drei nur ein Fünkchen echtes Verständnis für David Camerons dringenden Wunsch aufgebracht hätten, den britischen Wählern einen Reformvertrag vorzulegen, der diese Bezeichnung verdient. Das geschah aber nicht. So schuf das starrsinnige Trio leichtfertig die Voraussetzung für die britische Abkehr von der EU. Jetzt ist das Parlament in Aufruhr.

We Are Also The Two-Thirds Percent

OK, two-thirds isn’t a percent per se, but still.


Germans don’t want Angela Merkel to run for a fourth term, it seems. They just want her to run.

A poll published on Tuesday shows that just under two-thirds of Germans do not want Chancellor Angela Merkel to run for office again in elections next year.

The poll conducted by INSA for Cicero magazine asked people if they thought Merkel should run for a fourth term and 64 percent responded that she should not.

Other polling figures show that if an election were held now, Germany’s two main political parties would barely scrape together 50 percent of the vote between them.

“Wenn die Flüchtlingsthematik in die aus Merkels Sicht richtigen Bahnen gelenkt und aus der öffentlichen Aufmerksamkeit verschwunden ist, wäre ihre letzte große Aufgabe erfüllt.”

Germans Outraged Again Sort Of

In a way. Stunned at Austria’s latest plan to put up another yucky border (the Italian one this time) to keep refugees from entering Austria (and thus Germany), German Chancellor Angela Merkel has decried the awful plan, calling it “mistaken” and “anachronistic.”


And you can hardly even tell that she is secretly thrilled to death about the Austrians saving her political behind once again, thus allowing her preach from the moral high ground way up north in Berlin another day.

The narrow Brenner Pass has become a point of contention between Italy and Austria, as Rome has long complained that parts of northern Europe were allowing southern European nations to bear the brunt of sheltering and taking care of asylum-seekers.

Bye American

And take those dopey google-goggle thingies with you when you go.


And don’t let the virtually real door hit you on your way out.

And no tongues.

Buy American, buy German – auf der Hannover Messe frotzeln Merkel und Obama miteinander. Die Regierungschefs wissen, dass sich die Unternehmen ihrer Länder einen harten Kampf um Absatzmärkte liefern.

Let The Festival Of Love Begin

And let’s get it over with as soon as possible.


Time to say goodbye already.

While his fifth and final official trip to Europe’s biggest economy is expected to cover global crises, one of the headline goals is to advance negotiations on what could become the world’s biggest free trade agreement.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

German prosecutors have said a 15-year-old girl who stabbed a police officer was conducting a “martyrdom operation” for the militant “Islamic State” (IS) group. The teen had previously met with IS members in Turkey.


I’m sure she’ll be punished harshly for her actions. By German standards, I mean.

Meanwhile, when it comes to more serious crimes like free speech… I mean serious things like thought crimes…

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced Friday that her government will grant a Turkish request for the prosecution of Jan Boehmermann after he recited a crude poem about Turkey’s president, despite “diverging opinions” within the German ruling coalition.  

“We are Germans, renowned for our world-famous sense of humor.”