Finally, Some Good News

US nukes in Germany are getting modernized!

Bomb

US set to upgrade controversial nukes stationed in Germany – The US has stored nuclear bombs across Europe as a deterrent against Russia — including in Germany, where parliament voted in 2010 to withdraw the bombs. But for now, they are here to stay — and set to be modernized.

Americans activate the nukes, Germans deliver them. What could possibly go wrong?

Germany Finally Has A Defender Again

If only temporary.

Defender

US troops arrive in Germany for ‘Defender Europe 20‘ military maneuvers – A massive trans-Atlantic military exercise has gotten underway with over 40,000 US troops and military vehicles expected to arrive in Europe. It is the largest US troop movement across the Atlantic in 25 years.

“If everything goes well, nobody will notice anything.”

Lost In Translation?

Or lost before the translation even began?

Presiden

”‘Great again’ but at the expense of neighbors and partners?” That’s an odd thing for a German president to criticize at a security conference.

Granted, Germany is anything but ‘great again’ (because that’s how Germans insist Germany must forever remain) but when it comes to security and promised NATO contributions, Germany has been living at the expense of its neighbors and partners for many, many years now.

Germany’s president kicked off the annual Munich Security Conference on Friday by taking a swipe at President Donald Trump’s “America First” foreign policy approach.

In his opening remarks, German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier warned that the United States would put its own interests first at the expense of allies.

“In this scenario, the security of one is the insecurity of others.”

A Positive Development

But nowhere near what the Germans pledged to do long, long ago.

NATO

Germany to match US contribution to NATO budget – From 2021, Germany will increase its contribution to the NATO budget to be in line with what the US pays. NATO officials hope the move will diffuse tensions surrounding the cost of maintaining the military alliance.

Gee. I wonder what – or who? – finally got the Germans to act?

Starting in 2021, the share of the NATO budget covered by Germany will increase from 14.8% to 16.35%, while the share covered by the US will decrease from 22.1% to 16.35%…

NATO officials hope the new agreement will alleviate some of the tension around the topic of NATO financing. US President Donald Trump has complained that the US covers more than its fair share of the costs for the alliance. He has demanded that other member states make good on their pledges to increase their NATO contribution to 2% of GDP by 2024 (pledged nearly twenty years ago), a goal that Germany will not reach.

Merkel on Wednesday vowed to reach the 2% mark by the “early 2030s.”

More Like A Stepfather

Who beat you like a red-headed stepchild.

For Germans, Losing the U.S. to Trump Is Like Losing a Father – The 30th-anniversary celebration of the Berlin Wall’s collapse comes with grief over the end of a special relationship.

Trump

I don’t know if I can hold back the tears but give me a second or two. There. I’m much better now. Thanks. But this massive output of cheap emotion has a heavy taste of déjà-vu in it for me, folks. The Germans already had their hearts broken and lost their special relationship back with W., didn’t they? And we don’t even want to talk about how heartbroken they were with Ronald Reagan HIMSELF. They don’t even want to have to think about him today. Some thirty years later. You know, thirty years after he made possible the fall of the Berlin Wall? Wait a minute. I’m chocking up again…

Berlin gets unwanted Ronald Reagan statue – Ronald Reagan is already an honorary citizen of Berlin, so city authorities have always deemed a statue inappropriate. Nonetheless, a bronze replica of the former president is set to be inaugurated at the US Embassy.

Reagan

Country Without A Functioning Army Needs A National Security Council

Like a hole in the head. No, really. It makes sense, sort of. And by 2031 they won’t need it anymore anyway.

AKK

The German defense minister, Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer AKA AKK, AKA Mini-Merkel, who also serves as head of the Christian Democratic Union (CDU), says she plans to move forward with the formation of a national security council in recognition of Germany’s strategic interests.

In an earlier interview with the Süddeutsche Zeitung, she urged Berlin to take an increasingly active role in military engagements abroad.

Germany must “openly deal with the fact that we, like every other country in the world, have our own strategic interests,” Kramp-Karrenbauer told the Süddeutsche Zeitung.

Germany commits to NATO spending goal by 2031 for first time.

This Should Be Of No Surprise

The majority of Germans want Germany kicked out of NATO, too.

NATO

Majority of Germans want Turkey kicked out of NATO: survey – A new survey shows that 58% of Germans want Turkey expelled from NATO over the recent military offensive in Syria. There is even stronger German support for economic sanctions and export bans against the country.

Eine deutliche Mehrheit in Deutschland ist wegen des türkischen Einmarsches in Nordsyrien für einen Ausschluss der Türkei aus der Nato. In einer Umfrage des Meinungsforschungsinstituts YouGov im Auftrag der Deutschen Presse-Agentur sprachen sich 58 Prozent dafür aus und nur 18 Prozent dagegen.

They’ll Never Set Foot In Combat

So why on earth would they need combat boots?

Boots

More Bundeswehr humor. It’s a never-ending source of… Fun.

German soldiers won’t get new combat boots until 2022 – German soldiers will have to wait until 2022 to get new combat boots, in a setback that has angered politicians and raised questions about the readiness of the country’s military.

The rollout of the new footwear, which began in 2016, was scheduled to be completed by 2020 but has now been pushed back to mid-2022.

“Boots are the key to everything. You don’t go skiing with a pair of trainers and you don’t go hiking in high heels.”

And What’s The Problem With That?

German-U.S. Ties Are Breaking Down – Never since the founding of postwar Germany have relations between Berlin and the United States been as fragile as they are today. There is virtual radio silence between Chancellor Angela Merkel and President Donald Trump and U.S. Ambassador Richard Grenell is doing more to agitate the situation than to mediate.

Germany

It’s quite easy to explain, really: “I’m making them pay their bills” and the Germans don’t want to pay these bills. They’ve never paid them in the past, they’re thinking, so why should we pay them now? If there’s anything else I can do to straighten any of this up for you here, just ask.

“There is no understanding, but there are also no misunderstandings.”

Dying?

Long dead is more like it. The German Air Farce.

Air Force

Germany’s Air Force Is Dying: Everything You Need To Know – AFebruary ministry report showed only 39 of 128 Eurofighter jets were available for training and combat use last year on average, and just 26 of 93 older-model Tornado fighter jets.

The problem – for anybody on the outside out there – is assuming that anyone here gives a damn. And the punchline: The German defense minister directly responsible for this just got promoted and will now be running the EU. Get it?

Die Luftwaffe is at a low point.