German Of The Day: Schaumschläger

That means “foam basher.” And that means somebody who makes a lot of noise but doesn’t deliver, a hot-air artist. Hmm. There sure is a whole lot of foam in that beer mug she’s holding down there, don’t you think?

Foam

“The times when we could fully rely on others are to some extent over — I experienced that in the last few days,” Merkel told her supporters, according to Bloomberg. “We Europeans must really take our destiny into our own hands.”

That’s the moment when she took that foamy beer mug into her own hands, I guess. Or maybe somebody had just handed it to her after it had finally reached the end of this pipeline.

Breath deeply, everyone. It’s election season in Germany. And if you can’t pick up a few votes by bashing Donald Trump over here then you can’t poor foam out of a boot.

Die Kanzlerin brachte den Frust des G7-Gipfels vom Wochenende mit, die Parteivorsitzende das Wissen darum, dass Kritik an den USA und vor allem an Trump bei Wählerinnen und Wählern in Deutschland bestens ankommt. Der Hauptgegner im Wahlkampf, die Sozialdemokraten, spielen diese Karte schon länger. Und beide haben Europa wieder entdeckt.

German Of The Day: Schlecht

That means bad. Or böse. That means worse. You know, like in “bad, very bad.”

Trump

President Donald Trump has reportedly reignited tensions with his EU counterparts after calling the Germans “very bad” for their trade surplus with the U.S. The president vowed to block German car exports to the U.S. during a meeting with top EU leaders on Thursday, according to German news magazine Der Spiegel.

I don’t know, folks. Whether this is true or not, I have a very böse feeling about all of this. Not.

“The Germans are bad, very bad. Look at the millions of cars they’re selling in the U.S. We will stop that.”

German Of The Day: Was wir wissen

That means what we know. You know, as in what we know and what we don’t know about the attack?

Manchester

We know everything already, of course (it was the Buddhists again). And we’ve heard all the reactions before. What will the hash tag be this time? It’s a ritual now. So why be so careful with formulations like that? We don’t want to jump to conclusions, or what? That’s just part of the ritual, I guess.

Der mutmaßliche Täter ist tot. Sein Motiv für den Anschlag auf ein Popkonzert in Manchester ist weiterhin unklar, die Polizei sucht nach möglichen Komplizen.

German Of The Day: Handkreissäge

That means skill saw or portable circular saw.

Saw

And you really need to have a lot of skill when you operate one of those things. Or you ought to. It’s hard to say whether this lady knew what she was doing when she was operating hers, though.

A court in southern Germany has convicted a 32-year-old woman of killing her boyfriend and severing his head with a circular saw. Prosecutors said she attacked her boyfriend while he was tied to a bed and blindfolded with blacked-out swim goggles, then decapitated him, probably after he died from wounds to the upper body.

My bet is she never saw sex like that before.

German Of The Day: Spitzensteuersatz

That means maximum tax rate. In Germany that’s 42 percent at the moment – and climbing.

Taxation

But the cool thing about the maximum tax rate in Germany is that you don’t have to be a maximum earner to have to pay it. More and more regular folks are permitted to pay this killer rate – some 3.7 million Germans at the moment – and climbing. In 2004 it was 1.2 million taxpayers. Now that’s what I call Fortschritt (progress).

Unter Berücksichtigung der Zusammenveranlagung von Eheleuten betrifft dies damit 3,73 Millionen einkommensteuerpflichtige Personen. Damit unterliegen 6,4 Prozent aller Steuerpflichtigen dem Spitzensteuersatz von 42 Prozent, wie es in einer Antwort des Bundesregierung auf eine Anfrage der Linken im Bundestag heißt. 2004 fielen noch gut 1,2 Millionen Steuerpflichtige in diese Kategorie.

German Of The Day: Mediale Erfindung

That means medial invention. Take the Schulz effect, for instance. Please.

Schulz

Remember the good old days when medial inventions used to last for years? You know, things like Waldsterben (the dying of the woods) or Rinderwahn (mad cow disease)? Now you’re lucky if you can get three months out of one (the Schulz effect, for instance, was created and released from the laboratory just this past February and officially died yesterday).

I dunno, I think it’s this young whippersnapper snowflake generation these days with all their wall-to-wall social media and instant gratification issues. No respect, I tell you. Well, kids, each generation gets the medial invention it deserves so this one’s for you. And you have no one else to blame but yourselves. Three months. Pitiful.

In February, Social Democratic chancellor candidate Martin Schulz was riding a wave of popularity. Now, his party has lost two state elections in a row and another state vote is looming on Sunday. Can he get his campaign back on track?

Alles ist Albigs Schuld – finden Schulz und die Bundes-SPD.

German Of The Day: Leitkultur

That means the dominant, leading culture. In this case, the one with dominant German values.

Leitkultur

This is of course a bad word because it incorrectly implies that Germany should be more like Germany and less like, I dunno, Pakistan or something. That kind of thinking is anti-multikulti and therefore racist not to say Nazi (which will be said soon enough) so when the German interior minister suggests a 10-point plan to help establish these dominant German values – in the hope of actually helping immigrants to integrate – massive waves of righteous moral outrage are virtually guaranteed.*

“Wer sich seiner Leitkultur sicher ist, ist stark.”

* Election time is approaching fast, folks. If this suggestion would have been made by the AfD, by the way,  this moral outrage would have been expressed by the very government that just made the suggestion.

German Of The Day: Vollverschleierungsverbot

That means full-face veil ban. Veil, what will they think of next?

Veil

That just became law in Germany, although it only applies for Richterinnen (judge ladies), Beamtinnen (civil servant ladies) and Soldatinnen (soldier ladies). All ten or twelve of them. How many women in those positions in Germany might want to wear such an awful thing, anyway? But hey, it’s a good start I guess.*

“Integration bedeutet auch, dass wir unsere Werte und die Grenzen unserer Toleranz gegenüber anderen Kulturen deutlich machen und vermitteln.”

* I don’t think men in those positions are allowed to wear them, either. But don’t quote me on that.

German Of The Day: Unmutsbekundungen

That means protest. In this particular case it means hissing, however.

Ivanka

But as far as I can tell, this has something to do with moving forward the cause for women or womanhood or femaleness or whatever. So it’s necessary or something.

Ivanka Trump defended her father at a women’s panel in Berlin Tuesday after attendees hissed and booed when she attempted to champion her father’s commitment to women’s issues.

„Einige Sichtweisen ihres Vaters über Frauen in der Vergangenheit lassen es fraglich erscheinen, wie er Frauen wirklich stärken will.”

German Of The Day: Verpufft

That means fizzled out.

Schulz

Scientists recently hired to find traces of the mythical “Schulz Effect” in Germany are said to be busy preparing their resumes for new employment opportunities as the search for the mysterious, ethereal force has proven to be much more difficult than originally expected.

Meanwhile, German newspapers (ARD-Deutschlandtrend) are reporting that Martin Schulz’ popularity has dropped significantly behind that of his opponent Angela Merkel and even behind that of German foreign minister Sigmar Gabriel, the previous SPD loser candidate he was brought here from Brussels to replace.

Verpufft or not, let us continue to wish these scientists all the best for the future because, after all, science marches on. Or in the words of Max Planck: “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.