German authorities are investigating at least two American male security staff for apparent abuse of asylum seekers in their care in a special housing facility in Burbach, Germany.

The two American suspects, speaking perfect German and having German passports, filmed and photographed their deplorable actions on their mobile phones.

“These are pictures that we would associate with Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib,” everyone in the country babbled mindlessly in unison. “Both security guards are grinning so they just have to be American.”