Exit? What Exit?

What Angela Merkel’s exit means for Germany — and Europe.

Merkel

Hilarious! Merkel’s announcement comes at a pivotal time when nationalism is on the rise in Europe and the continent is still reeling from the 2015 migrant crisis.

Whah? Huh? She caused the 2015 migrant crisis. She is therefore directly responsible for this rise in nationalism you are so concerned about. And she ain’t going nowhere, either. She’s already hand-picked her Mini-MErkel to take the reins should anyone ever figure out how to get her to actually go away (other than at gunpoint).

All I can say is… German oddity 5. Young adults in Germany have never known a chancellor other than Angela Merkel. She has been in office since 2005. It’s time to go. It’s been time to go for quite some time now even. Geh mit Gott (go with God) but go. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

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Guns Can Be Risky In Germany

At least that’s what the German police are telling German citizens these days. So maybe that’s why there was a 9.6 percent increase last year in the number of Germans licensed to carry – gas pistols.

Pistols

That must be the reason why. Although “insecurity” was mentioned several times in this article not a word was lost anywhere on where this insecurity in Germany is coming from. It’s tacitly understood, of course. It would be, I dunno, rude to actually mention it. Like I often say about this country, things are complicated here. Simply complicated.

Police representatives suggest the increase illustrates a latent sense of insecurity among citizens. However, Left Party domestic policy expert Ulla Jelpke said the increase was “a result of the panic created by law and order politicians like Interior Minister Horst Seehofer and right-wing agitators like the AfD [Alternative for Germany].”

Thought Criminal Beaten Up By Real Criminals

But nobody cares here. He’s AfD. The outrage hält sich in Grenzen (has remained within limits).

AfD

As a matter of fact, you won’t find any outrage here at all. It never happened. Move along, people. Nothing to see here.

German far-right politician Frank Magnitz has been beaten up and severely injured in an attack seen by police as politically motivated.

The leader of Alternative for Germany (AfD) in Bremen was attacked by at least three masked men in the centre of the northern city on Monday.

The attackers knocked him unconscious with a piece of wood and kicked him in the head, AfD officials said.

“The citizen of Oceania is not allowed to know anything of the tenets of the other two philosophies, but he is taught to execrate them as barbarous outrages upon morality and common sense. Actually, the three philosophies are barely distinguishable.”

Harsh Reality Has A Way Of Ruining Dreamworld Fantasies

Today we see the end of the West German Dream, of an egalitarian “social market economy” with “prosperity for all,” added to the death of the East German Dream of a socialist society leaving capitalism’s insecurities, crises, and class divisions behind.

Merkel

When Angela Merkel became chancellor in 2005, the two big “Volksparteien” (the mass “catch-all” parties, the Christian Democratic CDU/CSU and the Social Democratic SPD), together still commanded 69.4 percent of the vote. Yet during her chancellorship, these parties have been forced to govern together in three ever-shrinking grand coalitions. Today, a year after federal elections saw a far-right party enter parliament for the first time since 1952, these two forces no longer represent a majority of Germans. The polls give them a combined tally of just 42 percent.

German Of The Day: Pessimistisch

That means pessimistic. As in pessimism. German pessimism, to be exact.

Optimism

German optimism is already pretty pessimistic so you can imagine what German pessimism must be like. And the Germans going through another pessimistic pessimism phase again these days.

A new survey indicates that a mere 17 percent of the population see the coming year with any kind of confidence or optimism. This is the largest drop in confidence in five years, the polling institute Ipsos says, and the turning point was the Flüchtlingsdebatte (refugee debate) that began in 2015.

2015 hatte die Flüchtlingsdebatte zu einem Stimmungseinbruch geführt. Die Sorgen im Hinblick auf die Integration der Zuwanderer sind noch immer da: 50 Prozent der Befragten befürchten, dass eine wachsende Fremdenfeindlichkeit den sozialen Frieden gefährdet. Das sind vier Prozentpunkte mehr als vor einem Jahr.

German Of The Day: Weihnachten

That means Christmas. You know, like the word for Christmas that the German Integrationsbeauftragte (Integration Commissioner) purposely left off of her official Christmas card greeting this year?

Weihnachten

“No matter what you believe in…” She writes, “We wish you a peaceful holiday season and a good start in the coming year.” But no mention of the word Christmas. You know, for like, I dunno, Christians?

You certainly couldn’t call Weihnachten a dirty four-letter word. It’s way bigger than that. But it’s sure dirty enough because in the Germany of 2018 it’s the kind of word you do not to want to put into your mouth, much less into writing, during the Christmas, I mean holiday season. At least not when you’re the Integration Commissioner here.

But wait. Shouldn’t that be one of the first words somebody interested in integration in Germany would want to use?

“Es ist bedauerlich, dass falsch verstandene Toleranz augenscheinlich dazu führt, dass Weihnachten, das Fest der Liebe, unsichtbar wird.”

Just A Normal German Wedding

You know, Germans with their big families and all?

Wedding

And their extended families? And those that extend from there? Like the Corleones? Only they’re actually Lebanese?

Criminal Arab clans are really big these days in Germany. Literally. So that’s why hundreds of German cops make sure to attend weddings and funerals with thousands of guests whenever “The Godfather of Berlin” or “El Presidente” and their crews get together for social events of this nature. Like yesterday in Mülheim. It helps keep the dialogue between the various Parallelgesellschaften (parallel societies) going or something.

Mahmoud Al-Zein ist kein Geringerer als der „Pate von Berlin“, eine der schillerndsten Figuren der arabischen Clans in Deutschland.

Shoot The Hoop

Better late than never. Actually, maybe never would have been better than late this time but you never know about never. Before it’s too late.

Hoop

Angela Merkel traveled to Chemnitz Friday to meet with residents, three months after the eastern city was the scene of violent, far-right protests that highlighted divisions in Germany — and the chancellor’s own party — on the issue of migration.

Merkel met with the Niners Chemnitz — a local basketball team — before heading to a town hall-style discussion with readers of the Chemnitz Freie Presse newspaper at which the recent unrest was expected to be a central issue.

The protests were triggered after the killing in August of a German man that authorities blamed on recent migrants. Far-right groups flocked to the city, about 200 kilometers (124 miles) south of Berlin, clashing with counter-protesters in scenes that drew widespread condemnation.

Ludwig warf der Kanzlerin eine „praktisch seit drei Jahren währende Sprachlosigkeit“ vor, deren Folgen sich besonders beim Thema Integration zeigten. Die Debatte werde viel zu oft denen überlassen, die Ängste oder tatsächliche Probleme instrumentalisierten.

I Shall Call Her… Mini-Me!

‘Mini-Merkel’ calls for Syrian migrants to be returned home as CDU leadership rivals jostle for position.

Mini-Me

Heel, Mini-Me! Heel!

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer said asylum-seekers whose claims are rejected or who commit crimes could be returned to the war-torn country…

Ms Kramp-Karrenbauer, popularly known in Germany as “mini-Merkel”, is widely seen as Mrs Merkel’s preferred successor. But she has been at pains to distance herself from the chancellor’s controversial migrant policy in her bid for the leadership of the Christian Democrat party (CDU).

“Certain regions of Syria could be secure enough in the foreseeable future.”

German Of The Day: Unerklärlich

That means inexplicable.

Islamophobia

You know, inexplicable like of all places on earth it’s inexplicable that Islamophobia and xenophobia could be on the rise in Germany. But it is. What could possibly be behind it?

Prejudice towards Muslims and foreigners is rising in Germany, a study has revealed.

More than 44 per cent of Germans believe Muslims should be banned from immigrating, compared to 36.5 per cent in 2014, the Competence Centre for Right-Wing Extremism and Democracy Research found.

The poll found more than one in two (55.8 per cent) said the number of Muslims made them feel like strangers in their own country, while 43 per cent gave the same answer four years ago, the Die Welt newspaper reported.

“We want a leader who governs the country with a firm hand for the good of all.”