Leaving Las Vegas

Only it’s Germany this time. And nobody’s really leaving here, either.

Return

You don’t have to leave, of course, refugee folks. It’s just that we’d really, really, really like it if you would.

With deportations expensive and complicated, Germany launched a new website designed to help encourage migrants to return voluntarily to their home countries. Organizers are please with the resonance so far, the site currently getting up to six or seven hits a day.

In diesem Jahr sind bisher weniger Migranten freiwillig in ihre Heimat zurückgekehrt als noch im Vorjahr. Bund und Länder versuchen weiterhin eine schnellere und konsequentere Abschiebung durchzusetzen.

The Temporary Border Controls That Last And Last And Last

Germany will keep up its temporary border controls, thank you (they finally got it last year). And this despite Brussels ordering EU member states to do away with them.

Control

Things are so much better now on Europe’s southern borders, these Eurocrats hiding in Belgian bunkers say, so drop your defenses already. We will give you six more months before you have to get rid of those awful things. Or else. Or else another six months, right?

Die EU-Kommission hat Deutschland erlaubt, die wegen der Flüchtlingskrise eingeführten Grenzkontrollen bis Ende November fortzuführen. Nach Angaben von EU-Innenkommissar Dimitri Avramapoulos erhielten Deutschland, Österreich, Dänemark, Schweden und Norwegen “ein letztes Mal” eine Frist sechs Monaten.

German Of The Day: Leitkultur

That means the dominant, leading culture. In this case, the one with dominant German values.

Leitkultur

This is of course a bad word because it incorrectly implies that Germany should be more like Germany and less like, I dunno, Pakistan or something. That kind of thinking is anti-multikulti and therefore racist not to say Nazi (which will be said soon enough) so when the German interior minister suggests a 10-point plan to help establish these dominant German values – in the hope of actually helping immigrants to integrate – massive waves of righteous moral outrage are virtually guaranteed.*

“Wer sich seiner Leitkultur sicher ist, ist stark.”

* Election time is approaching fast, folks. If this suggestion would have been made by the AfD, by the way,  this moral outrage would have been expressed by the very government that just made the suggestion.

Radical Right-Wing German Soldier Granted Asylum In Germany As Syrian Refugee Turns Out To Be Wannabe Islamist Terrorist

Wait. It gets better. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know what to say, people. But only a military counterintelligence service called MAD could come up with a story like this.

Terror

A German soldier who falsely registered as a Syrian asylum seeker has been arrested for planning a terror attack. Authorities believe the lieutenant was motivated by xenophobia…

Prosecutors said the man hid a loaded weapon in a bathroom at  Vienna airport in January. He was then briefly arrested by Austrian police when he returned in February to retrieve it.

They later released the soldier due to insufficient evidence. However, the suspect’s fingerprints indicated he had in late 2015 used an alias to falsely register as a Syrian refugee in Germany. In early 2016, he applied for asylum. He was subsequently granted accommodation and even received aid money.

Ein mutmaßlich rechtsradikaler Bundeswehrsoldat, der sich als Flüchtling und Syrer ausgab, soll einen Anschlag geplant haben.

German Of The Day: Kriminalstatistik

That means crime statistics. And the statistic that just came out about suspected criminal refugees in Germany rose 52.7 percent between 2015 and 2016 – to 174,438.

Refugee

If this were all just petty crime that would be bad enough but Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) says now that thousands of migrants had identified themselves as former Taliban insurgents during the asylum application process. At least they were honest, right? My, Germany certainly has a generous immigration policy.

So there are more criminal refugees here than anybody figured? How you figure? That must be some kind of mistake. All the popular media outlets have been suggesting the opposite. And still are, for that matter.

Zahl der tatverdächtigen Zuwanderer steigt um 52,7 Prozent.

German Of The Day: Willkommenskultur

That means “welcoming culture” and refers to the German willingness to accept refugees.

Study

It is, of course, a Märchen (fairy tale), as a survey on Friday is now beginning to make clear and not really a great revelation for anyone who lives here, either.

A new study has revealed that a majority of Germans are unwilling to take in more asylum seekers. The country took in around 890,000 refugees in 2015. According to a representative survey conducted by the Bertelsmann foundation, 54 percent of the respondents said Germany had reached the limit as far as accepting asylum seekers was concerned. In 2015, the same survey showed 40 percent of people holding this opinion.

Let’s face it, Germans are fine and decent people but the German culture has never been a “welcoming culture” in that sense. That many Germans would like to believe that it is anyway speaks for their good will and good intentions but they know themselves that this simply isn’t true. Reality has a way of catching up with good intentions, the road to hell being paved with them, as we all know.

In einer am Freitag veröffentlichten Emnid-Umfrage im Auftrag der Bertelsmann Stiftung sieht eine knappe Mehrheit von 54 Prozent der Befragten Deutschland an seiner Belastungsgrenze angekommen. Vor zwei Jahren teilten diese Auffassung noch 40 Prozent.

Voice Analysis Software To The Rescue

Being that over 60 percent of the million or so migrants seeking asylum in Germany do not have any identification papers on them and are not always “open” about where they actually came from, Germany authorities are planning to use speech analysis technology to help straigten this out and thus speed up the asylum seeking process.

Migrants

Migrants from Bavaria, for instance, speak a unique dialect of German that natives of, say, Hamburg or Frankfurt find difficult to understand. Berlin migrants, on the other hand, often speak Berlinisch, a metrolect mixture not always well-received in other parts of the country. This voice analysis software will quickly identify these differences and thus enable authorities to send these folks back to the Bundesland (federal state) they came from. For further processing there, I mean.

“I don’t see how automated software can distinguish whether a person uses a certain word or pronounces it in a particular way because this is part of their own repertoire or because they were primed to do so by the interviewer or interpreter.”

 

Two From Togo To Go?

Two violent and drunken asylum seekers from Togo (Syrian migrants, I assume) who smashed up their asylum center because of the lousy mobile phone reception there?

Togo

To go back home to Togo, I mean? Right. Wahrscheinlich (probably).

A German police officer has been severely injured in a weekend riot by drunken refugees armed with iron bars who smashed their accommodation centre to smithereens. Two men from Togo and six from Ghana went berserk at their asylum home in Rees-Haldern, near the Dutch border a DAY after moving in because they were ‘unhappy’ with their quarters.

„Die Infrastruktur gefiel ihnen nicht und es gibt dort wohl Netzprobleme was den Handyempfang angeht.“

435,000 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall

435,000 bottles of beer.

Asylum

Expensive bottles of imported beer. No, make that deported beer.

“We carried over 435,000 cases into the new year and we want to have dealt with those this spring.”

“If there is virtually no prospect for a migrant to stay here, it makes sense to push for an early repatriation and to encourage that financially.”

This Man Is Not A Terrorist

It’s the woman standing next to him. Hardy, har, har.

Terrorist

Anas Modamani, who migrated to Germany from Syria, told the BBC that a photo he took with German leader Angela Merkel has been used in various reports claiming he was involved in several different terrorist attacks, which spread around Facebook.

Modamani hired a lawyer to file an injunction against the Menlo Park-based social network alleging the company failed to remove racist posts, in violation of German hate speech laws. The legal action comes as Facebook faces mounting pressure to do something about the proliferation of fake news on the social network.

Er wäre ein Paradebeispiel für gelungene Integration. Doch nach einem Selfie mit der Kanzlerin wird Anas Modamani immer wieder als Terrorist verunglimpft. Die Geschichte eines 19-Jährigen, der jetzt genug hat.