Who Makes This Stuff Up?

Oh, Al Jazeera makes this stuff up. Then it makes sense.

Germany

Germany welcomed refugees. Now it’s reaping the economic benefits – German companies need more skilled workers. Refugees are helping to fill the gap.

This is not the German reality. When Angela Merkel opened the floodgates in 2015, talk was soon everywhere (where talk like this was expected to be – see state television) that precisely this would happen; highly skilled engineers, doctors and other specialists from Syria would “fill the gap” in a booming German economy short on workers. This simply did not happen. The small number of specialists who did make it here were generally stymied by German bureaucracy or simply do not have the skills German companies expected them to have. Who did come? Armies of unskilled workers who are now a big burden on the German social system.

It’s not the Syrians’ fault that Germany does everything bass ackwards here, though. The Germans needed skilled workers so they let the unskilled in. They don’t even bother to introduce a comprehensive immigration law so they can decide who enters their country or not – haven’t gotten around to it to this very day. And on and on it goes. Al Jazeera’s fantasy Germany makes for good stories, I guess, but it has nothing to do with the real Germany. Not that anybody is interested. Just sayin’.

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A Large City Every Year

The head of Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees, Hans-Eckhard Sommer, is in hot water now.

City

He claims that the amount of asylum seekers still being allowed to enter Germany is “too high” (162,000 last year) and compares this to “a large city coming to us every year.”

Worse still, he makes the ridiculous allegation that “the state can only handle so much” and then has the cheek to critisize the fact that over half of those seeking asylum (54 percent) still don’t have the decency to carry any identification papers with them.

What a monster or something. He should be relieved of his job immediately.

„EINE GROSSSTADT, DIE JÄHRLICH ZU UNS KOMMT”

Deutsche Sprache Schwere Sprache

German is a tough language to learn.

German

For example, nearly half of the migrants who took the German language course offered by Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees last year (93,500 from 202,000 participants), failed. That failure rate of 45% is up from 40% the previous year.

And this was after 600 teaching units forty-five minutes each. Are they stupid? Of course not. But maybe the people who think “integrating” them would be easy. This just shows you what a mammoth task the integration of such a large number of people will be, should it ever succeed at all. If they can’t even speak the language, how can anyone expect them to be integrated? But maybe nobody really does anymore.

Die Durchfallquote bei den Deutschprüfungen am Ende der Integrationskurse ist vergangenes Jahr auf 45 Prozent angewachsen. 2017 lag sie noch bei 40 Prozent. Das zuständige Ministerium will die Kursqualität anheben.

Ali B. Vs. Susanna F.

Susanna F already lost before the trial began.

Ali

An Iraqi man went on trial in Germany on Tuesday (Mar 12) accused of the rape and murder of a teenage girl that inflamed anti-immigrant tensions amid a mass influx of asylum seekers.

The accused, Ali Bashar, 22, left Germany for northern Iraq shortly after the May 2018 crime but was arrested and brought back in a mission joined personally by Germany’s federal police chief.

Everything just went black,” he says. Yes, it did. Right around 2015. This is all so unnecessary. Shouldn’t Angela Merkel be called to the witness stand for more clarification?

Ali B. gesteht Tötung von Susanna F.

Exit? What Exit?

What Angela Merkel’s exit means for Germany — and Europe.

Merkel

Hilarious! Merkel’s announcement comes at a pivotal time when nationalism is on the rise in Europe and the continent is still reeling from the 2015 migrant crisis.

Whah? Huh? She caused the 2015 migrant crisis. She is therefore directly responsible for this rise in nationalism you are so concerned about. And she ain’t going nowhere, either. She’s already hand-picked her Mini-MErkel to take the reins should anyone ever figure out how to get her to actually go away (other than at gunpoint).

All I can say is… German oddity 5. Young adults in Germany have never known a chancellor other than Angela Merkel. She has been in office since 2005. It’s time to go. It’s been time to go for quite some time now even. Geh mit Gott (go with God) but go. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Guns Can Be Risky In Germany

At least that’s what the German police are telling German citizens these days. So maybe that’s why there was a 9.6 percent increase last year in the number of Germans licensed to carry – gas pistols.

Pistols

That must be the reason why. Although “insecurity” was mentioned several times in this article not a word was lost anywhere on where this insecurity in Germany is coming from. It’s tacitly understood, of course. It would be, I dunno, rude to actually mention it. Like I often say about this country, things are complicated here. Simply complicated.

Police representatives suggest the increase illustrates a latent sense of insecurity among citizens. However, Left Party domestic policy expert Ulla Jelpke said the increase was “a result of the panic created by law and order politicians like Interior Minister Horst Seehofer and right-wing agitators like the AfD [Alternative for Germany].”

German Of The Day: Pessimistisch

That means pessimistic. As in pessimism. German pessimism, to be exact.

Optimism

German optimism is already pretty pessimistic so you can imagine what German pessimism must be like. And the Germans going through another pessimistic pessimism phase again these days.

A new survey indicates that a mere 17 percent of the population see the coming year with any kind of confidence or optimism. This is the largest drop in confidence in five years, the polling institute Ipsos says, and the turning point was the Flüchtlingsdebatte (refugee debate) that began in 2015.

2015 hatte die Flüchtlingsdebatte zu einem Stimmungseinbruch geführt. Die Sorgen im Hinblick auf die Integration der Zuwanderer sind noch immer da: 50 Prozent der Befragten befürchten, dass eine wachsende Fremdenfeindlichkeit den sozialen Frieden gefährdet. Das sind vier Prozentpunkte mehr als vor einem Jahr.

German Of The Day: Weihnachten

That means Christmas. You know, like the word for Christmas that the German Integrationsbeauftragte (Integration Commissioner) purposely left off of her official Christmas card greeting this year?

Weihnachten

“No matter what you believe in…” She writes, “We wish you a peaceful holiday season and a good start in the coming year.” But no mention of the word Christmas. You know, for like, I dunno, Christians?

You certainly couldn’t call Weihnachten a dirty four-letter word. It’s way bigger than that. But it’s sure dirty enough because in the Germany of 2018 it’s the kind of word you do not to want to put into your mouth, much less into writing, during the Christmas, I mean holiday season. At least not when you’re the Integration Commissioner here.

But wait. Shouldn’t that be one of the first words somebody interested in integration in Germany would want to use?

“Es ist bedauerlich, dass falsch verstandene Toleranz augenscheinlich dazu führt, dass Weihnachten, das Fest der Liebe, unsichtbar wird.”

Just A Normal German Wedding

You know, Germans with their big families and all?

Wedding

And their extended families? And those that extend from there? Like the Corleones? Only they’re actually Lebanese?

Criminal Arab clans are really big these days in Germany. Literally. So that’s why hundreds of German cops make sure to attend weddings and funerals with thousands of guests whenever “The Godfather of Berlin” or “El Presidente” and their crews get together for social events of this nature. Like yesterday in Mülheim. It helps keep the dialogue between the various Parallelgesellschaften (parallel societies) going or something.

Mahmoud Al-Zein ist kein Geringerer als der „Pate von Berlin“, eine der schillerndsten Figuren der arabischen Clans in Deutschland.

Shoot The Hoop

Better late than never. Actually, maybe never would have been better than late this time but you never know about never. Before it’s too late.

Hoop

Angela Merkel traveled to Chemnitz Friday to meet with residents, three months after the eastern city was the scene of violent, far-right protests that highlighted divisions in Germany — and the chancellor’s own party — on the issue of migration.

Merkel met with the Niners Chemnitz — a local basketball team — before heading to a town hall-style discussion with readers of the Chemnitz Freie Presse newspaper at which the recent unrest was expected to be a central issue.

The protests were triggered after the killing in August of a German man that authorities blamed on recent migrants. Far-right groups flocked to the city, about 200 kilometers (124 miles) south of Berlin, clashing with counter-protesters in scenes that drew widespread condemnation.

Ludwig warf der Kanzlerin eine „praktisch seit drei Jahren währende Sprachlosigkeit“ vor, deren Folgen sich besonders beim Thema Integration zeigten. Die Debatte werde viel zu oft denen überlassen, die Ängste oder tatsächliche Probleme instrumentalisierten.