German Recycling Destroying Umwelt

Bad consumer! Environmental groups are alarmed and warning that the entire German reusable bottle system as we know it may soon be on the verge of collapse. And it’s all because of you, ihr Flaschen (“you bottles,” a German idiom for losers). You’re recyling the wrong bottles (the plastic ones, these are “bad”).

Horror of horrors or something. Just when Big Green Brother finally got you to robotically return your bottles to the reusable bottle robots located at your local supermarket, like you should, for your own good, you start buying more plastic returnables (thinking that these are as “good” as good old glass ones), causing the share of environmentally friendly bottles in circulation to sink from 70 to 50 percent. If this continues, the whole system will become “unprofitable,” whatever that means.

It seems that Fearless Leader’s five-year plan actually called for a percentage of 80 percent of environmentally friendly bottles to be in circulation so you have all failed miserably and will now have to be reprogrammed at your own cost again so that you know better and start buying the good glass recyclable bottles instead. And returning them to the robots (the machine ones). After you have emptied them, I mean (the bottles). Ah, the hell with it. They’ll explain it all to you better later.

Eine bessere Kennzeichnung und ökologisch differenzierte Steuer werden verlangt.


3 responses

  1. Before the ancestral hamlet in Pennsylvania started manditory borough recycling around 1988, people used to recycle at about the same rate.

    For money.

    You would take you crapola to a commercial recycling yard, throw it on a variety of scales. And a grubby dude did the math in his head and gave you some cash.


    THEN people needed to look all concerned and weepy and such, and the borough hired a crew and had nice plastic tubs made up with the borough name and all sorts of encouraging rubbish about being ‘green’ (despite the fact that it’s the boonies).

    Around the same time, virtually every town in the region started doing it. They crashed the price of this interesting industrial input commodity called a good chunk of your hosehold trash, and there were no buyers. They would routinely run out of space, and PAY hauling companies to dispose of their excess.

    Those guys did a pretty good job of finding buyers, though. Towns would get mad and call this kind of high perfoming braininess “gouging”.

    The irony is that even though they sell their recycling, the borough’s property tax fees had to rise substantially to keep up with it.

    This, in an area, where trash removal is privatized. You buy stickers at gas stations and supermarkets for a variety of trash haulers, and put a sticker on the bag you haul out to the curb.

    Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. And if you really want to get rid of your stuff more frequently than the towns that pick up weekly and often routinely blow off your street, different companies come around on different days of the week. Often several times a week.

    The lesson? Capitalism works, and people actually like it.

  2. Funny how that invisible hand works, Joe. Because, well, it does work. Funny too how this is a prime example of what government intervention usually leads to; to not working. A decree is made, an expensive system is put into place, the real world doesn’t react as it is supposed to, the system gets tweaked, the real world doesn’t react is it is supposed to, the system gets tweaked… And on and on and it never ends, just about wherever you look. It’s quite funny really, like I said, in a sad kind of way.

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