We’re from the government and we’re here to help. Again. Resistance is futile. No force in the universe can stop us from helping you so shut up and let us help you already.

Germany’s latest consumer tax (they keep coming in hot and heavy) was meant to help offset soaring gas prices by helping energy companies in need. A questionable enough undertaking already, I’d say. But now it turns out that billions of these tax euros will be flowing to companies that are not only not in need, they’re making record profits.

We were glad to help. You can thank us later.