Just Get Me To The Day Care Center On Time

Germany’s Central Register of Foreign Nationals published statistics on Friday that raised alarm bells across the country: There are 1,475 children, foreign nationals living in Germany, listed as “married” on their official paperwork. Even more troubling, said the office, was the likelihood that the actual number is much higher…

Child

The most highly represented country of origin was Syria (664). There were also many from Afghanistan (157) and Iraq (100), but also on the list were European countries like Bulgaria (65), Poland (41), Romania (33) and Greece (32).

At least 361 migrants aged under 14 are married in Germany.

Burkini Lady Sues

After being harassed at a swimming pool in a place called Bad Saarow in Brandenburg. All bads sarrow* on whether she’ll be getting legal satisfaction or not. And no, it wasn’t an itsy bitsy teenie weenie burkini kind of burkini she was wearing. That’s the whole problem, I guess.

Burkini

And speaking of teenies (just barely)… Are the hundreds (thousands?) of child brides in Germany going to sue next? To not have to be forced to go through with these ordeals, I mean? Stupid question. They’re way too young to be allowed to do that.

An anonymous teacher told newspaper Welt am Sonntag that young girls often suddenly stop showing up to school after getting married.

In Deutschland verschwinden immer öfter Mädchen aus der Schule, weil sie verheiratet wurden. Der Kinderschutzbund fordert, das Ehealter grundsätzlich auf 18 Jahre festzulegen – ohne Ausnahmen.

* Bets are off. Get it?