We Can Do It

Sure we can. As in you can. At least that’s what she said. But she never said how long it would take.

Wir schaffen das“: we can do it. That was German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s mantra three years ago, when Germany welcomed more than a million asylum seekers. This week, she was forced to find a compromise that included strengthening borders and promising to send migrants back. Hundreds of thousands of cases are currently before the courts. At one Berlin courthouse, two-thirds of procedures involve asylum seekers and the workload has increased significantly. Our correspondents report.

Wir schaffen das.

It’s not like you have any choice. Nobody gave you one.

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German Of The Day: Transitzentren

That means transit centers – for migrants entering Germany through Austria. And these transit centers are the price Angela Merkel (CDU) had to pay Horst Seehofer (CSU) to keep her government together, at least for a little longer.

Tranzitzentren

The CSU-CDU compromise:

1. A new border regime at the German-Austrian border that prevents asylum seekers from entering Germany if it is the responsibility of other EU countries to process their asylum claim.

2.  Transit centers from which asylum seekers are returned directly to the country where they first arrived in the EU (if that country agrees)

3. In cases of refusal by the country of first arrival to sign up to the deal with Germany, the rejected asylum seeker will be turned away at the  German-Austrian border under an agreement with Austria

Man hätte es fast nicht mehr für möglich gehalten. Aber Edmund Stoiber ist immer noch da. Oder wieder. Und er sieht noch mürrischer aus als er es früher oft getan hat.

They Keep Getting My Hopes Up

But they’re not going to sucker punch me this time, either. Not when they come at me with this “Merkel is in big trouble and this could be the end” stuff.

Merkel

I’ve been through this too often before. I will not be swayed by their Chruchill-esque come-on: “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” I mean, wouldn’t it be great if it really were the end of the beginning? I’ll take the beginning of the end if necessary but the end of the beginning would be way cooler. If it can’t be the actual end, I mean. The actual end would be best of all, of course. That goes without saying. But we’re not there yet. Or are we? Damn it! Here they go tricking me into getting my hopes up again.

A resolution to Germany’s government crisis proved elusive Sunday after the head of the Bavaria-only Christian Social Union in Angela Merkel’s conservative bloc offered his resignation rather than back down from his stance against the chancellor’s migration policies…

If Seehofer does step down, it is not immediately clear what effect the move would have on a three-week impasse between Merkel and her CSU partners, which has centered on his resolve to turn away some types of asylum-seekers at Germany’s borders.

„Dass es ernst ist, weiß jeder.”

It’s Like Pulling Teeth

To get this woman to do anything, I mean.

Merkel

Angela Merkel’s friends and enemies lined up in Berlin on Friday morning to defend and attack the chancellor after she stayed up for hours with EU leaders in Brussels hammering out a common European Union plan on keeping out more asylum-seekers.

The ultimate question was whether Merkel had found a deal satisfactory enough to appease her Bavarian allies. The Christian Social Union (CSU) precipitated a government coalition crisis in the past few weeks by insisting that asylum-seekers who had already registered in other countries be turned away at the German border.

“It is the result of a debate in Germany that the migration issue is finally being addressed more strongly at an EU level.”

Alle CSU-Forderungen hat der EU-Gipfel nicht erfüllt. Dennoch gehen die Beschlüsse so weit in Richtung Abschottung, dass selbst Kanzler Kurz zufrieden ist. Ein Erfolg ist die Einigung, weil Europa auf gemeinsame Lösungen setzt.

German Of The Day: Totgesagte Leben Länger

That means “those declared dead live longer” or there’s life in the old dog yet.

Merkel

Sure, Angela Merkel’s approval rating has long become a disapproval rating and nearly half of Germans polled would like to see her step down now but what does that have to do with anything? There is no direct balloting for the office of Chancellor or they would have voted her out of office years ago. The parliamentary majority decides. And harmless little old Angela Merkel has spent years bumping off anyone in her party who could even remotely pose a threat to her position as boss lady. Nope, things will just keep plugging along, one painful step in the wrong direction after the other. Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie? Same procedure as every year, James.

By the way, did you know that most great catastrophes don’t just happen suddenly, out of nowhere and overnight? They usually result after a long accumulation of smaller mishaps, mistakes and poor decisions has taken place.

Berlin. Angesichts der aktuellen Regierungskrise um die Asylpolitik ist fast jeder zweite Deutsche für eine Ablösung von Bundeskanzlerin Angela Merkel. In einer Umfrage des Meinungsforschungsinstituts YouGov sprachen sich 43 Prozent dafür aus, dass Merkel zurücktritt und ihr Amt an einen Nachfolger oder eine Nachfolgerin übergibt.

Trump Responsible For Germany’s Weakening Economy

What a jerk.

Trump

Worse still, he tweets awful things about German officials and the increased crime rate they have brought to their country due to the influx of migrants.

Migrants

Worserer still, he’s also the reason why Germany will be missing its CO2 emissions target for 2020.

Emissions

And worstest of all, he is personally responsible for Germany’s loss to Mexico in the World Cup.

Mexico

And all of this on a Tuesday? They should rename it Trumpday.

Die deutsche Wirtschaft schwächelt, das stellen führende Wirtschaftsforschungsinstitute fest. Schuld ist demnach auch die Politik von US-Präsident Donald Trump.

Crisis? What Crisis?

It’s not like the migrant crisis I singlehandedly caused is a crisis or anything. They just call it that.

Ricin

Or that this so-called migrant crisis I unleashed also caused the surge in populism that is currently surging in Germany. Or that any of these so-called migrants are endangering the German public. They’re not. It’s those yuicky terrorists that came into the country illegally with them. When they came into the country illegally, I mean. What, me worry?

Not Angela Merkel. She’s the Blob. Changes form at will. And nobody can lift her up out of that chair. Right?

Not even 100 days after she negotiated her way to a fourth term as German leader, Angela Merkel is mired in a political crisis that underscores Europe’s divisions over immigration amid a surge in populism.

Das in Köln sichergestellte Rizin hätte für Hunderte toxische Dosen gereicht. Verfassungsschutzpräsident Maaßen nimmt an, dass mit dem Gift ein Anschlag geplant war.

A Little Bit Of Ricin Isn’t Going To Hurt Anybody

Not after an even smaller bit of ricin already killed everybody off first.

Ricin

The next Syrian refugee (this time a Tunisian Syrian refugee from Tunisia) has been caught misbehaving again. German police are questioning the 29-year-old after having stormed his apartment in Cologne and finding this interesting substance, should these reports be of substance.

Daily newspaper Express and local daily Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger reported that police had found ricin, a substance that can be highly toxic in small amounts. Authorities have not confirmed the reports…

Elite SEK police commandos and specialized chemical units from the police and fire departments were at the scene of the 18-story apartment block in Cologne’s northern Chorweiler district late on Tuesday. A mobile laboratory was set up in the entrance area of the apartment to analyze any dangerous substance.

German public broadcaster, WDR, quoted the attorney general as saying that there were indications that the person arrested may have planned an attack with the substances.

EXPRESS und „Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger“ erfuhren aus Ermittlerkreisen, um was für eine Substanz es sich handeln soll, die bei dem SEK-Großeinsatz am Dienstagabend in der Wohnung des Tatverdächtigen aufgefunden wurde: Rizin ist der drittgiftigste Stoff der Welt – 25.000-mal tödlicher als Strychnin.

PS: Just in case you were wondering (see yesterday’s post), North Korea won!

German Of The Day: Weltfremd

That means “not of this world,” as in alien to it, unrealistic, naively innocent, quixotic.

Weltfremd

And now we’re making progress, folks. How progressive indeed. Now, even the leftest of the leftist left in Germany are announcing that committing to open borders is about as weltfremd as it gets.

The Left party’s Rosa Luxumburg clone herself, Sahra Wagenknecht, fighting to dominate those opponents within the party who are for open borders, has just taken a stance that anybody over at the right populist AfD would openly support: “It’s weltfremd to think that anyone can come to Germany and have a claim to the social benefits here.”

Wagenknecht sagte, es sei „weltfremd“, dass jeder nach Deutschland kommen und Anspruch auf die hier üblichen Sozialleistungen haben könne.

Yet Another Multicultural Exchange

After the rejection of his asylum application. Just chillin’, while appealing. That’s how this works in Merkel’s Germany.

Exchange

German authorities said Thursday they are seeking a fugitive Iraqi asylum-seeker and have arrested a Turkish citizen over the rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl who went missing more than two weeks ago…

Police said the Iraqi man, whom they identified as Ali Basar, appears to have left abruptly with his family last week, flying to Iraq via Istanbul. He was a suspect in a string of previous offenses in the area, including a robbery at knifepoint.

He is believed to have arrived in Germany in October 2015, at the height of the migrant influx to Germany, and was appealing against the rejection of his asylum application.

Eine DNA-Analyse habe ergeben, dass es sich “zweifelsfrei” um Susanna handle, sagte der Leiter der Staatsanwaltschaft Wiesbaden, Achim Thoma. Sie sei durch “Gewalteinwirkung auf den Hals” getötet worden.