Dear Angela…

Stop all this austerity and savings crap and start burning up some euros already.

Yours truly,
Obama

Merkel’s savings measures, touted as Germany’s biggest austerity drive since World War Two, aim to deliver savings of 11.2 billion euros next year and lower a deficit set to exceed five per cent of gross domestic product (GDP) this year, according to an official draft of the plan.

The times they are a-changin’

Even in Germany, sort of. It’s been a long time coming (damn, a whole year already). From here…

To here.

Happy Karnival time or something. Oh yeah, it’s already over (for a lot of folks it is, anyway).

US-Präsident Barack Obama als gefallener Engel. Der Heiligenschein liegt am Boden.

Musical Schmoozical

You’ve read all the books, seen all the TV reports and shows, even followed the Nobel Peace Prize awards. But if you haven’t dropped from adoration exhaustion yet, you still have this one last chance to do so. Although, well, actually we all know that this won’t really be your last chance. That was just a figure of speech or something.

Anyways… A German musical is set to pay tribute to you-know-who in an all-singing, all-dancing Obama musical (Obamusical?) extravaganza. It will soon premiere in Frankfurt and no force in the universe can stop it.

I think I’ll wait for the movie to come out. No, now I think I won’t. But maybe I will check out the DVD one day… In a galaxy far, far away.

But despite complaints on the Internet that this is yet another a rose-tinted portrayal of the president, event organizers stressed that Obama is not being idealized…

It’s showtime!

OK, 30,000 additional American troops in Afghanistan, victory guaranteed by the summer of 2011 (or else) and the best part of all? President Obama’s Afghanistan strategy, as expected, also envisions a major increase in NATO troop levels there, meaning of course more German troops too.

Go Germany! I’m impressed already, sort of (but not quite yet). What would never have been possible during the reign of his evil cowboy predecessor will now be given to Obama with a smile. Some 2000 troops, or so the rumor goes.

Poor Mr. President. He still doesn’t know who he’s dealing with over here. Here in Germany, I mean. Afghanistan he’s starting to get though, I think.

Die Nato-Staaten müssten ihr Truppenkontingent ebenfalls aufstocken – also auch die Bundeswehr.

German campaign’s lack of substance not anything like Obama’s was

“German politicians are drawing on the lessons of the U.S. presidential campaign by embracing the Internet and experimenting with townhall meetings, but what worked for Barack Obama seems to be backfiring here.”

Yes we can two, I mean too.

“Both candidates are using chatrooms, blogs and Twitter to woo voters and have used U.S-style townhall formats in television appearances.”

But…”You can’t copy and paste Obama because that would be the wrong thing to do and it can quickly turn out to be embarrassing,”

“The trouble for the campaign managers, analysts say, is that no amount of innovative tactics can compensate for a lack of substance.”

Huh? I thought that is how Obama got elected in the first place. Whatever.

“Just last year, former SPD General Secretary Hubertus Heil was ridiculed after he tried to get party conference delegates to chant ‘Yes, we can!’ only to be met with a deafening silence.”

Bush in black?

Gerhard Schröder had his “reasons”, is Angie going to jump on the bandwagon now, too? Or is she already long gone down that road – ist der Zug schon abgefahren (did this train already leave the station)? It is a campaign year here in Germany after all, you know.

 

Remember the way we were?

 

“Mr. Obama speaks of a global crisis that demands global responses. For the Germans, this is indeed a global crisis — but one that must be resolved primarily by the U.S., since it originated there. Therefore, German finance companies that became entangled in dodgy speculations are seen as weak victims who were seduced, while the clever American seducers who caused the real-estate bubble must now be punished.

Now the victims are claiming the right to say “no” to new stimulus packages. And they are demanding that the U.S. never again be permitted to seduce — that it be constrained by “more transparency on the financial markets, which Germany called for long ago,” as Mrs. Merkel says.”

“Before the Iraq war, George Bush succeeded in splitting Europe into the old and the new. In the financial crisis, the Continent is unified in its opposition toward his successor, Barack Obama.”

The road to hell

No, I don’t mean that AC/DC song. I’m talking about President Obama’s trip to Europe this week (and thanks to you Mr. Ex-Minister Czech guy). Talk about a breaking fever (in this case Europe’s Obama one). I was sure this infatuation would last at least six months. But, then again, I was also sure about the lasting value of that Florida swamp land I bought a few years back, too.

 

 

 

“The tidal wave of expectation and enthusiasm that Obama rode into the White House is giving way to a more cautious reception in Europe as the administration’s policies begin to take shape.” More cautious? That’s about the most cautious term you can use for it.

 

“His policies are not exactly the change that they can believe in.”

Angie already gladly giving Obama her best wishes

So here’s my wish list, Mr. President (I know it’ll be a few more hours yet before you’re sworn in, but first come first serve):

 

 Now hold on to your Pferde there, lady.

 

1) It’s time to enter a new era of international cooperation. Translated from German that means the old era of international cooperation was much too anstrengend (too much work) for us already, we want to say even more now and do even less than we have in the past.

 

2) No one land can solve all the world’s problems by itself. In your language this means of course that no one weak country can. But several weak countries, all pulling together, can keep a stronger one from trying to do so.

 

3) The era of Alleingänge (unilateral actions) is over. In English: The era of your unilateral actions is over. If we pull a few like we regularly do here and there that’s different because we are weak and small (see points 1 and 2) and therefore that’s OK.

 

4) Whatever you do, do not enter into another new era of protectionism. Translated from German that means something like please keep buying our cars because nobody here wants them anymore.

 

5) I have a whole lot more of these for you of course but this is your first day at work and I don’t want to come over as being too demanding or pushy or anything, not right just yet anyway.

 

„Sie hoffe, dass die zukünftige Zusammenarbeit mit den USA von gegenseitigem Zuhören geprägt werde.“

Yes we can but no we just can’t wait!

Germans are like just soo aus dem Häuschen (in a tizzy) about the new President who of course isn’t just quite the new President right yet that they have already placed his graven image in Madame Tussauds (Unter den Linden, versteht sich) and are taking turns stroking “it” profusely. Well at least this one reporter lady here seems to be getting sore wrists.

 

Here’s the before shot. 

 This is me before I got waxed.

 Here’s the after one. 

 This is me, uh, too.

 

The after shots are always better, you know. She’s the one on the left, by the way. Uhmm, I’m no expert on anatomy or anything, but isn’t the guy on the second shot more of a cross between that shark dude on Saving Nemo and O.J. Simpson? I mean of course the “old” O.J., O.K.? I shouldn’t moan, I guess. It’s not very easy doing likenesses. Especially at places like this.

 

“Ich gehe näher ran, lege den Arm um seine Hüften, wie damals.”