The Spy Who Got Left Out In The Cold

Crazy court rulings these days, I tell ya. One court here in Germany, for instance, just ruled that Edward Snowden HIMSELF cannot receive an honorary degree from the University of Rostock

Snowden

This is because – now get this – providing controversial and politically charged intelligence service data does not constitute a scientific achievement.

What do ya thinka that? What a bunch of jurisprudence. Why, that’s absolutely positively, uh… Wait a minute. Sure makes sense to me, come to think of it (is that why this court decision is so outrageous?). But now let’s move on.  So who the hell are these wackos from the University of Rostock?

Ist die Bereitstellung brisanter Geheimdienst-Daten eine besondere wissenschaftliche Leistung oder nicht?

Rostock Universität Beats Nobel Committee To The Draw

Frantic to beat the coming Nobel Peace Prize award being planned in Oslo, the Faculty of Philosophy at the University of Rostock has boldly decided to launch a preemptive honorary doctorate award strike at that less than honorable doctor of whistleblowing himself, Edward Snowden.

Rostock

The faculty council approved the cold-blooded, unprovoked resolution with 17 of 21 votes.

The thoroughly prepared German folk hero could not be reached directly for comment but reliable sources watching his every move day and night report having overheard him already practicing his acceptance speech, saying that he is “honored by the honor, scout’s honor,” or something to that effect.

Die Fakultät und Snowden haben bislang keinen Kontakt miteinander gehabt. Es gebe aber Beziehungen zu Menschen, die mit Snowden in Verbindung stehen.