Double-O-Sieben In Da Hood

Or at least under it.

007

Now we know why we never hear much about German spy activity. First off all, German spies are really easy to recognize because of those dopey hoods they wear. I mean, duh. Like you can see them spying at you a mile away.

And secondly, if any of them do turn out to be any good, they get thrown into jail for tax evasion.

Germany’s answer to James Bond on Monday faced what may prove to be the greatest challenge of his career as he went on trial on charges of tax evasion…

The 76-year-old Mr Werner* has claimed he helped avert a mafia poisoning attempt against Pope Benedict XVI negotiated between Israel and Hamas, and took part in intelligence operations against Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (Isil).

* It’s Mr. Mauss, Telegraph journalists, not Mr. Werner. Mr. Mauss is a way cooler spy name, too.

From Russia With Love?

I think it’s more like Goldfinger.

Khodorkovsky

Or maybe Live and Let Die?

Khodorkovsky will make a statement to the media from Berlin later on Sunday.

Chodorkowski verlässt Russland – wie viele Milliarden Dollar vor ihm (Khodorkovsky leaves Russia, like the many billions of dollars before him)

PS: I think it’s really Edward Snowden in one of those Mission Impossible mask thingies.