All Quiet On The Academy Awards Front

Still.

Does anybody watch that Scheiße anymore?

Germans Are Right to Hate All Quiet on the Western Front – The Academy loves Netflix’s pandering war porn. Its homeland knows better.

Take Schlammschlacht, for instance, which means mudslinging or mud fight, and ends with the German word for battle which also evocatively happens to be the root word for slaughter. Schlammschlacht, by itself, is the headline of Hubert Wetzel’s blistering review in the venerable Süddeutsche Zeitung, describing the weather conditions in which most of the film’s slaughter take place, and, presumably, also the filmmakers’ treatment of a literary treasure…

Steven Spielberg Presents Bono With Berlin Film Festival’s Honorary Golden Bear

U2 frontman Bono was presented with the Berlin Film Festival’s Honorary Golden Bear for Lifetime Achievement by Steven Spielberg, who made a surprise appearance at the rousing special ceremony on Tuesday.

Or maybe it was the other way around. I forget. You’d have to ask somebody who gives a Scheiße.

What To Expect?

The same pointed political messages, the same leftist championing of disturbing themes, the same provocative (yawn) political exhibitionism from woke virtue signaling political stooges everywhere. What to expect? The same procedure as every year, James.

Berlinale: What to expect at the 2023 Berlin film festival – A look at the highlights of the Berlinale, from the stars on the red carpet to the competition for the Golden and Silver Bears, and the festival’s focus on Ukraine and Iran...

The festival publishes detailed statistics related to gender diversity. Only six films in the competition are directed by women; but taken together, 38.7% of the current productions are directed by women, and 4% of them by non-binary filmmakers.

While there are not any African titles in the main competition, sections such as Panorama and Forum feature several works from the continent.

Sean Penn’s Ukraine Doc Won’t Be Competing!

It’s that good. Just like the Berlin International Film Festival itself. They’re both so good they’re for the greater good.

Too bad their films are always so no good.

The Berlin International Film Festival unveiled the competition lineup for its 2023 edition on Monday morning, naming the 18 movies that will compete for the coveted Gold and Silver Bears at the 73rd Berlinale…

Berlin 2023, taking place a year after Russia’s Feb. 24 invasion, will have a major focus on Ukraine. Even the festival’s official pin will be in the Ukraine colors of blue and yellow…

In a late addition, Superpower, Sean Penn and Aaron Kaufman’s documentary on Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky, the Russian invasion of the country and the ongoing war, will have its world premiere in Berlin’s out-of-competition Berlinale Special section.

I Had No Idea He Was Already Dead

Although if you watch any of his last few films…

Berlin film fest gives Spielberg lifetime achievement award – Steven Spielberg will be honored for his life’s work at the Berlin International Film Festival in February.

Festival organizers said Tuesday that the 75-year-old American director, producer and screenwriter will be awarded an honorary Golden Bear, the annual event’s top prize, for a body of work that comprises more than 100 movies and series.

Couldn’t They Just Cancel It Altogether?

Please? For health reasons? And then there’s COVID too.

Berlin Shortens Film Festival, Requires Vaccination and Testing – The 2022 Berlinale hopes new COVID-19 restrictions will allow it to have in-person screenings and events in February.

The Berlin International Film Festival has cut three days off its official screening schedule for 2022 and introduced new coronavirus measures, requiring attendees to be both fully vaccinated or recently recovered from a COVID-19 infection, plus show a recent negative COVID test.

Berlin 2022 will now run Feb. 10-16, with the festival’s Gold and Silver Bear honors handed out on Wednesday, Feb. 16. The final four days of the festival, Feb. 17-20, will feature repeat screenings of festival titles in cinemas around the German capital. Traditionally, Berlin sets aside one day for these “public screenings.”

A Plan To Kill Millions Of Germans?

No need. The Germans are committing collective suicide on their own (no children, migrant madness, etc.).

Max, a German Jew who lost his wife and child in the Holocaust, has gotten a job with the Nuremberg water supply department in the aftermath of World War II. While rebuilding the war-ravaged facilities, he comes across a blueprint of the entire system. Using his artistic skills, he quickly copies it on paper and brings it back to a secret Jewish group that’s plotting a massive act of revenge for the Shoah.

It may sound like a larger-than-life thriller, but this story is actually true — and it’s the subject of a new film, “Plan A,” by Israeli fraternal directors Yoav and Doron Paz.

Crappy Films A Comin’

Corona Or Not. Crappy and politicized. But crappy.

Crappy

The 71st Berlin festival will be a unique event. Due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, Berlin 2021 will be split into two stages. From March 1 through March 5, the festival will hold an online-only event mainly for the international industry. The European Film Market will also go virtual, following a model established last year by the likes of Cannes and the American Film Market in Santa Monica.

An in-person festival in the German capital, with red-carpet screenings and gala events, is planned for June 9-June 20.

 

I Just Had To Look

Having read the book…

Movie

Not. If it weren’t for Corona, I’d go watch Corona – The Movie. I mean, if it were a movie that acutally existed and all that.

‘Corona – The Movie’ is our project. First we need the kind of director who nails the son of a bitch, a guy who will not rest until the virus is turned into lasagna, in its own movie. We need a director who rocks big-time, a man whose name is Martin Scorsese.

The Cast?

Mrs. Corona: Balle Herry
The bad virologist, Professor Pandemia C. Galore: Sigourney Beaver
The good virologist, Professor Vacuna Matata: Sandra Bullocks
The protective mask: Jim Carrey
The individual on the respirator: Brad DiCaprio
The narrator: Bernie Sanders
The arrogant ICU doc: Harrison Dodge
The helpful nurse: Angela Merkel
The Sheriff: Clint Westwood

The Plot? Who cares.

Corona Spares Audience Annual Lola Award Ordeal

There are rays of hope out there, if you just look.

Lola

German Film Awards to Go Ahead Without Audience Amid Coronavirus – Instead of canceling the Lolas, the German equivalent of the Oscars, the local film industry has decided to do a live broadcast of the awards on April 24 without the usual gala.

Thanks, German film gala Volk. German audiences have suffered enough.