Category Archives: Hustle (Hoax)

Good Bank Bad Bank

April 15, 2011 By in Heconomy, History, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Amerikanische Banken sind böse, deutsche sind gut.

Deutsche Bank AG, whose bets against subprime mortgages helped it weather the financial crisis, pressed to sell a $1.1 billion collateralized debt obligation to clients in 2007 as the co-head of its CDO team foresaw a market slump, a U.S. Senate panel found.

Lippmann (not the co-head but then-top CDO trader), whose bets against the housing market were also described in Michael Lewis’s “The Big Short,” had repeatedly tried to warn co-workers and clients in 2006 and 2007 about the poor quality of the mortgage securities underlying many CDOs, according to the report. The return on his bets against mortgages “was the largest profit obtained from a single position in Deutsche Bank history.”

“Keep your fingers crossed but I think we will price this just before the market falls off a cliff.”

So how do German financial experts react to the big short CDO scam and the crisis that followed? How else? American banks have to take the responsibility for what happened.

“Im Nachgang der Finanzkrise müssen sich amerikanische Banken verantworten.”

German Bigfoot sighted

October 20, 2010 By in Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Sort of.

A big black panther-like cat creature–let’s call it Pussyfoot–has been sited several times near Trier recently, leading local officials, among them Mayor Larry Vaughn, desperate not to lose the money that will be brought in by 4th of July tourists, to insist that Chief Brody tell everyone that the girl’s death was actually caused by a motorboat accident and not a Pussyfoot attack, because the thought of a killer black panther in Triers’s forests would drive tourists and who knows who else away for good.

A majority of scientists however, myself included, discount the existence of Pussyfoot, considering it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification and hoax-type stuff instead.
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„Wir prüfen gerade, ob und wie wir das Tier finden können.”

The economy really must be booming again

August 25, 2010 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Humor, Hustle (Hoax) Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

This is by far one of my top five if not my absolute favorite scam here.

Although the political class in Berlin still pretends as if workers in Germany will actually be working until they are 67 in the future before being able to retire here (the system – or the demographics – she is broken, Señor), last year’s Vorruhestand (early retirement) numbers shot up 10,000 over the previous year, making it the highest number of early retirees (171,129) to throw in the towel (early) over the past six years.

Don’t get me wrong, though. These folks had to retire early because they were sick. Honest. No, not sick of working. Most of them had one of those newfangled, you know, psychological-like ailment-type sicknesses. But don’t worry. They’re feeling better already.

Der weitaus größte Teil – rund 64.000 Menschen – habe aufgrund einer psychischen Erkrankung in den vorzeitigen Ruhestand gehen müssen.