It Won’t Stop Here

After the “mistakes” the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) made in its rulings. The truth has a way of raising its ugly little head and there will soon be more to follow, I’m sure.

Migrants

An internal review by the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) of 4,568 asylum rulings had found that the Bremen branch knowingly and regularly disregarded legal regulations and internal rules, the Interior Ministry said…

More than 1.6 million migrants, many from the Middle East, have arrived in Germany since 2014, becoming a hot political issue which helped propel the far-right Alternative for Germany into parliament for the first time in last year’s election.

It’s alleged that the Bremen branch of the Office for Migrants and Refugees (BAMF), which is subordinate to the Interior Ministry, simply admitted more than 1,200 refugees to Germany without properly reviewing their cases. Bremen prosecutors are currently investigating whether bribes changed hands, and questions have been asked whether BAMF head Jutta Cordt kept herself adequately informed, and if she did enough to investigate the possible irregularities.

Advertisements

German Of The Day: BAMF

That stands for Bundesamt für Migration und Flüchtlinge, which means the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees. It turns out they should have translated that as the Bureau for Asylum and Migrant Fraud, however.

BAMF

This is one of those tip of the iceberg stories, folks. Employees at Bremen’s BAMF have been accused of improperly granting asylum in 1,200 cases between 2013 and 2017 and now an investigation has been launched in which 18,000 additional successful asylum applications will be reviewed. In the meantime irregularities at other BAMF offices have come to light.

Internal email correspondence at the Bremen office has emerged in which an upper-level manager appears to be aware of this systemic problem but asks that an internal investigation be carried out in a “noiseless” manner.  Nor should “everything be examined down to the last detail.”

Same old same old, isn’t it? We’re from the government and we’re here to help.

Angeschrieben wegen möglicher Unregelmäßigkeiten in den Bremer Asylverfahren, habe der zuständige Abteilungsleiter des Bundesamts im Februar 2017 zwar eine Prüfung angeordnet, zugleich aber verfügt, dass diese „geräuschlos“ geschehen solle. Er wolle nicht, heiße es in seiner E-Mail, „dass alles bis ins Detail geprüft wird.”

Germans Need To Become Better Integrated

In Germany. That makes sense. Sort of. Well, if you’re the head of Germany’s Federal Immigration and Integration Council it does.

Germans

I mean, think about it. They are already doing such a smash-up job integrating the millions of non-Germans out there that this phase of integration will soon be over with and then what are the folks who work over at Federal Immigration and Integration Council going to do? Get integrated back into the labor market (for real jobs)? Hardly.

And I have noticed, I must say, that more and more Germans just don’t really fit in here anymore. Worse still, many of these non-integrated Germans aren’t even open to the idea of letting themselves become properly integrated and even get downright hostile whenever you suggest that they do so. Not that I ever would, of course. I believe in cultural diversity. “Andere Länder, andere Sitten,” as the Germans say. Other countries, other manners. Live and let live, that’s my motto. Although I do wish that some of these non-integrated Germans would at least try to become more integrated in Germany society now and then. This parallel society nonsense ain’t cutting it, either.

“Viele Einheimische sind mit unserem politischen System unzufrieden oder finden ihren Platz in der deutschen Gesellschaft nicht.”

You Must Have Your Papers

This is Germany, after all. You can’t just leave the country without the proper paperwork.

Papers

That is why there are some 65,000 asylum seekers in Germany at the moment (this number will climb, of course) who have been turned down but who are nevertheless geduldet (tolerated, permitted to stay), can’t be deported because they don’t have the passports or travel documents needed to to be sent back home again – often enough to countries that don’t even want them back. What a mess.

This is Germany, like I said. The same 65,000+ didn’t need any paperwork to enter the country but they sure the hell better have some on their way out. Otherwise they’re in big trouble. And the Germans will make them stay. If I made this stuff up no one would believe me.

Die Zahl abgelehnter Asylbewerber und Migranten ohne Aufenthaltsrecht, die wegen fehlender Papiere nicht abgeschoben werden können, ist einem Medienbericht zufolge im vergangenen Jahr deutlich gestiegen.

Somebody Call The Tradition Commission!

Oh, they’ve contacted you already? Good. Whew.

Lead

Tradition can be a dangerous thing, folks. Just look at the old German New Year’s Eve custom of Bleigießen – telling fortunes by the shapes made when molten lead is dropped into cold water. Awful. As you can well imagine, countless millions have been maimed or died in the process. And did you know that they actually do this without proper supervision in the privacy of their own homes?

Thank goodness the EU is here to help. A new European Union directive has finally been enacted that prohibits this dangerous practice once and for all. Tonight will be the last time Germans will be allowed to recklessly place their lives and the lives of their children in danger.

This kind of stuff gets me right here. I really get emotional. Today the lead, tomorrow Santa Claus. The EU marches on.

Happy New Year!

Bye, bye, Blei: Im Zuge der neuen Chemikalienverordnung der EU müssen die Deutschen ab 2018 auf das Bleigießen an Silvester verzichten.

PS: Remember to be extra careful with those Polish firecrackers tonight, people.

No More Döner For Dinner?

Huh? That’s absolutely, positively my favorite German food!

Döner

Leave it up to the Enlightened Left to help protect us from ourselves again.

The EU’s Umweltausschuss (ecology committee) plans to restrict the use of phosphates in frozen meats. A loophole in their legislation had allowed frozen Döner Kebab to contain phosphates up until now. Only fresh Döner will be allowed to have phosphates in the future.

The problem here: Almost all of the Döner restaurants in Europe depend upon frozen Döner meat being delivered to them. Some 500 tons of it are eaten every day. 80% of that in Germany. Over 110,000 jobs would be affected. And please note: The same EU bureaucrats (from another EU department, of course) have declared that 4200 mg of phosphates per day does not pose a health hazard. A Döner Kebab has on average 134 mg.

What can you say? What else can you say? “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

Wegen Sozialisten und Grünen im EU-Parlament – Dem Döner droht das Aus!

Rotten Administrative Watchdog Worried About Lack Of Lousy Public Service Officials

Germany’s Bundesverwaltungsamt (Federal Office of Administration), responsible for overseeing the lousy service traditionally inflicted upon defenseless German citizens by the crappy public service officials they administer so poorly, has expressed concern that the number of said officials is much too low to guarantee the continued level of awful service these citizens have become accustomed to and therefore insists that tons more of these losers be hired in the near future or sooner. Or else.

Offcials

“That’s right,” said the only incompetent high-level and ridiculously overpaid official anybody could locate who wasn’t home playing sick or out getting a Kur (a well-loved “treatment” scam here). “Hire a whole bunch more of folks like us or the service gets even worse. Any questions?”

In der Verwaltung droht der Personalnotstand: Das befürchtet der Präsident des Bundesverwaltungsamtes Christoph Verenkotte und fordert ein “riesiges Einstellungsprogramm.”

German Of The Day: Gegendert

That means gendered. You know, as in language-wise?

Gender

In Berlin, for instance, male words used on public forms and applications can be very disturbing. At least that’s what SPD politicians here think. So that is why they are seeing to it that more female vocabulary will be introduced in the future. I don’t know quite what that means (the ones with die instead of der or das?) but I’m sure they must know what they are doing, right?

“Only using male words gives the impression that the form only applies to the male population and this is not the case.”

Damn. Why didn’t anybody ever think of this before? No wonder I could never figure out how to fill out my maternity leave application.

„Nur männliche Wörter zu verwenden, erweckt den Anschein, als betreffe der Antrag nur die männliche Bevölkerung. Das stimmt aber nicht.“

PS: What will they think of next? Sending men and women to different bathrooms?

I’m Outta Here!

Speaking of Sozis… Failing to lead from the front, Martin Shulz is now hightailing it out of the shambles he helped create in Brussels and will now lead from behind in Berlin. Or maybe he won’t. Nobody who has ever paid any attention to this guy seems to particularly care.

Schulz

This guy has never accomplished anything but spend a whole lot of time on any German political talk show you can think of being THE expert on any “European” subject you can think of talking about. He helped a lot with Greece (not). He stopped Brexit from happening (not), he helped solve Europe’s refugee crisis and its deficit spending crisis and on an on and on (lots more nots here). He lectured US-Amerika right and left (mostly right) about all those things Europeans lecture US-Amerika about. He did that particularly well, I must say, but he’s just one of legion in that department so who needs him? In other words, he was the perfect non-elected European bureaucrat boss-type and he will be sorely missed until his replacement non-elected European bureaucrat boss-type is crowned by whoever it is who crowns them – so he/she can then carry on where Schulz left off. Accomplishing nothing. But with style.

The long-serving parliament boss will stand as an MP for his Social Democratic party in North Rhine-Westphalia, opening the door for a potential run at the German chancellorship in elections next year. Speaking to reporters on Thursday morning, an emotional Mr Schulz said: “It was not an easy decision.”

Call The European Emission Commission

They won’t answer or anything. But still.

Strange, these guys never stop producing dangerous emissions themselves.

Dieselgate
But when it comes to Dieselgate in Europe, it’s back to “I know nothing” again. How Eurocratic or something.

Meeting minutes, correspondence and conversation records that SPIEGEL ONLINE and the Swedish daily Svenska Dagbladet have obtained now show that the European Commission and member states knew, since 2010 at the latest, that the extremely harmful emissions from diesel cars were strikingly higher than legal levels.