Take Your Alternative Citizen Test Today!

Just answer the following questions politically correctly and you could become a German citizen!

German

Is US-Amerika to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Do you love to obsess about the privacy of the data no one is forcing you to place on your numerous free social media platforms nor is particularly interested in?

Are you convinced that your recycling and waste separation efforts are saving the lives of polar bears as we speak?

Are you OK with the fact that you are a “pacifist” living in one of the world’s largest weapons exporting nations?

Is your first impulse to shut down all of your nuclear power plants whenever an earthquake takes place in Japan?

Is it OK for you to pretend to be more European than other Europeans are while dominating those other Europeans with your crushing economic might?

Do you believe everything you see every night on your tax-funded state TV news channels?

Are you considering reducing the number of your annual vacation flights from three down to one to help combat Global Warming?

Is US-Amerika still to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Well then, if the answer to those was an emphatic “Yes!” you don’t worry about taking the alternative citizenship test. You’re a German already.

Please note: This is just a small sampling of the questions asked during the final examination.

Why doesn’t anybody want to become German?

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the Germans don’t want them to become German.

What a surprise again (not). Fewer and fewer migrant types are interested in becoming German citizens and this is, well, shocking or something – and bound to make most Germans who hear about it happy as larks.

Just the other day they had a great story in the news which was swiftly swept under the rug (I thought it was practical joke again); a group of German politicians suggested giving IQ tests to those interested in becoming German citizens. Makes a lot of sense. If you stop and think about it for a second, I mean. Pitiful. And funny as hell at the same time.

“Böhning hat das Gefühl, dass das Einwandern erschwert werden solle.”