How To Avoid Getting Scolded By A German?

That’s easy. Practice very aggressive social distancing. You know. Like, move to France?

Scold

Have you ever walked on the bicycle lane? Put a refundable bottle into a regular bin? Asked a bus driver how much the ride costs? In Germany, these beginners’ mistakes might earn you a good scold. Here’s how to avoid it…

“The point is not whether they are right or not, it’s that anyone here thinks they’re allowed to educate you.”

German Oddity 177. Germany is what you might call a correcting culture. It is not uncommon for perfect strangers to publically reprimand you here if you do not abide by what is considered the societal norm. Newcomers are usually shocked when discovering that others have no qualms about telling you that you’re doing something wrong, as if you were a small child. If they don’t tell you outright there will at least be a display of disapproving headshaking.

More German Oddity 15

Berlin: WWII Bomb Find Leads to Evacuation of Thousands, Including the Mayor – In Berlin’s ‘Mitte’ district, a large WWII bomb was found on a construction site on Tuesday. Police started evacuating thousands of people in the evening. They included Berliners and visitors.

Berlin

Berlin’s Governing Mayor Michael Müller, the Senate and their staff were evacuated from Red City Hall on Tuesday, due to a World War II bomb find. The latter weighs 250 kilos (550 pounds). A bomb disposal unit was supposed to diffuse the bomb this evening, but the evacuation took time.

German Oddity 15. Germany is a place where huge underground bombs are routinely unearthed all around the country and this barely even makes second page news. In fact, most Germans directly affected are more annoyed about it than anything else. They grudgingly leave their homes until the bomb crews have disarmed or detonated the damned things. Over 5,000 bombs are found in Germany every year.

Ho-hum, They Found Another Bomb In The Neighborhood

German Oddity 15. Germany is a place where huge underground bombs are routinely unearthed all around the country and this barely even makes second page news. In fact, most Germans directly affected are more annoyed about it than anything else. They grudgingly leave their homes until the bomb crews have disarmed or detonated the damned things. Over 5,000 bombs are found in Germany every year.

Bomb

1,100-pound US bomb from WWII defused in Germany after mass evacuation.

Verzögerte Räumung, schnelle Entschärfung.

Take Your Alternative Citizen Test Today!

Just answer the following questions politically correctly and you could become a German citizen!

German

Is US-Amerika to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Do you love to obsess about the privacy of the data no one is forcing you to place on your numerous free social media platforms nor is particularly interested in?

Are you convinced that your recycling and waste separation efforts are saving the lives of polar bears as we speak?

Are you OK with the fact that you are a “pacifist” living in one of the world’s largest weapons exporting nations?

Is your first impulse to shut down all of your nuclear power plants whenever an earthquake takes place in Japan?

Is it OK for you to pretend to be more European than other Europeans are while dominating those other Europeans with your crushing economic might?

Do you believe everything you see every night on your tax-funded state TV news channels?

Are you considering reducing the number of your annual vacation flights from three down to one to help combat Global Warming?

Is US-Amerika still to blame for practically all the world’s ills?

Well then, if the answer to those was an emphatic “Yes!” you don’t worry about taking the alternative citizenship test. You’re a German already.

Please note: This is just a small sampling of the questions asked during the final examination.

Order Now While The Supply Lasts Or Something

Brain Quest – A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind. Out now!

Brain Quest

“Other than a slight run-in with an errant gang of deviant subculture corpuscles our passage through the blameless victim ventricle proved to be rather uneventful.”

Brain Quest: A Fantastic Voyage through the Progressive Mind

Available on December 26, 2017! Reserve your copy today for $0.99 and get a huge discount off the regular price. Pre-order now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Smashwords and other select retailers.

Brain Quest

Mission Nemo simply must succeed. If the crew of the Super Small Miniaturized Nano-like Operations Wessel S. S. Minnow fails to destroy the inoperable anti-capitalist coagulum lodged in Maurice Moore’s progressive brain, how will General De Klein’s Federal Department of Antidotes operatives at SUCFACE Mission Control find out if Leftylometazoline (aka LeftX) really works? Would this usher in the final stage of the liberal clerisy’s clandestine collectivist conspiracy to abolish our few remaining individual freedoms forever? That would not please President Thump one microscopic little bit.

Join Major Miles Stone and his disturbingly alluring crew on their miniaturized mission through the left and lefter hemispheres of the progressive brain. Their fantastic voyage is a race against time that takes them through such redoubtable regions as the Clinton Vortex, the Che Guevara Gray Area and the Obama Trauma Center itself. Here they bravely confront such anatomical monstrosities as the fantasist frontalis, the hyperbolthalamus and the dreaded pious aspiration node. Their progressive brain journey only gets progressively worse as they are repeatedly attacked by repulsive swarms of nanny neurons, doomsday dendrons, robin hoodlums and the formidable radical egalitarian bacterium. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, and their deadly arsenal of passing phasers, millennial mindset missiles, moral busybody antibodies and Condescendium®, the Minnow would be lost. The Minnow would be lost.

The tension never stops building during this thrilling tale of adventure, danger, suspense and romance. And lust. Will Captain Hanna Grenada’s irresistible animal magnetism finally seduce the Major into experiencing something vaguely resembling basic human emotion? Can the all too communicative HAL 9999 super computer and his annoying eye drones really be trusted to operate the ship? And will the Minnow’s political corrector deflectors and smug shields hold, allowing Stone and his crew to reach their target and ignite the liberal bombast bomb in time? I could tell you but that would ruin the suspense.

Not your everyday dystopian science-fiction erotic horror political thriller, this bombastic bombshell of a book knows no shame when it comes to overwhelming you with its serious silliness, wanton wackiness and forthright, flat-out farce. Purchase it now before it is too late or something. Soon to be made into a major motion picture. Or maybe it has been already. There is also time travel involved here, after all.

This Book Put The Coffee In Coffee-Table Book

You’re going to need a whole lot of it. Coffee. Just to leaf through this thing.

German Business Plants

Leaf, get it?

I simply must have it. And Christmas is coming up, folks. I mean, you know, if a few of you want to chip in together to get it for me or something…

In Busch’s minimalist compositions and stark, even lighting, the plants look tragic and comedic at the same time. To vivify the interior life of these peripheral office props, the Hamburg-based photographer gave each plant a name and unique personalities, and the “plant portraits” are captioned with wry observations: “Ingrid isn’t giving up” describes a droopy aloe vera on a window sill. “This is Renee, and Renee is keeping a secret,” refers to a slender indoor cactus that’s conceivably been a silent witness to top secret company meetings. And “Ute suffers from daydreaming” is the caption to a parched dragon tree appearing to ponder an escape from its banal captivity.

PS: If you’re looking for more fascinating reading material you ought to give this puppy a try.