Loosened up after several bottles of Rotkäppchen Sekt that German “Research” Minister Annette Schavan brought along with her especially for the occasion, Washington insiders report that a tipsy US Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano then allowed Schavan access to what used to be one highly restricted American anti-terrorism technolgies lab.

Still smashed after breakfast later that morning, Napolitano then signed a so-called treaty on scientific and technological cooperation that Schavan shoved under her bright red nose at an opportune moment, right before she passed out on her desk, in other words. The German Research Minister then mysteriously disappeared into thin air and could not be located anywhere in the once secure building by formerly secure security personnel, no matter how hard they researched.

“This is an important contribution to the strengthening of trans-Atlantic cooperation.”