Justin Bieber To Spank His Monkey

For not having any papers on him after landing in Munich in March. Or he sure would like to spank him now, I bet.


The popular god-awful and astoundingly annoying suckling superstar clearly had no idea that German customs authorities don’t cut slack for anybody, not even for monkeys – or a guy who’s last name means “beaver” in German.

His dumbass animal of a monkey “Mally” is still under animal shelter arrest and won’t be going anywhere until Bieber or an actual grownup get in touch with the German customs authorities directly (that is the custom here) and he’s running out of time fast.

This gives Leave It to Beaver a whole new meaning, if you ask me. Whether he spanks his monkey or not.

“Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver.”

One response

  1. “Ward, I’m worried about the Beaver.”

    I was chuckling as I read down through your blog entry, but when I got to this line I spewed a mouthful of coffee all over the keyboard. Damn!

    There’s a TV station in the US (Antenna TV) that shows a couple “Leave It to Beaver” episodes every night (along with “Hitchcock Presents” and “The Burns and Allen Show”), so June’s Fifties intonation was echoing in my head as I read that.

    Hey, I’m worried about the Bieber, too. Every young dude needs his monkey close by, right?

    Last night Wally and the Beave had a tiny pet alligator and got advice on how to feed him from Uncle Joe (from “Petticoat Junction”). Maybe the Biebe should talk to Uncle Joe.

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