A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.

German Of The Day: Flaschenpost

That means message in a bottle.

Flaschenpost

Message in a bottle thrown into Rhine by German family found in New Zealand – Eight years after throwing a bottle containing a message into the Rhine, a German family has been contacted by New Zealanders who say they found the message 18,000km away. But the finder didn’t give their address.

It almost sounds too, I dunno, implausible to be true.

“We are still totally surprised to have received feedback after all this time. And then of all the places, from New Zealand, our dream destination, to which we have unfortunately not yet been.”

German Of The Day: Bitch

That means bitch.

Buzz

Remember: Germany is the land of Goethe and Schiller. These two guys are Goethe und Schiller 2.0.

How many ex-boyfriends have you already had, bitch?
Look at me, bitch. Look at what a beauty I am. Ten.
Oh my God!

Honey, how many ex-boyfriends do you have, bitch?
I’m much too young. I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend.
Oh my God!
Ra-ta-ta-ta!

Bitch, how many ex-boyfriends do you have?
I don’t have an ex-boyfriend yet, bitch.
Oh my God!

Can You Tell The Difference?

Apparently in celebration of the recent trademarking of her name and the #FridaysForFuture movement, climate change activist Greta Thunberg has been turned into a wax statue in Germany.

Greta

No, not her personally. I mean she has been immortalized in sculpture at the Panoptikum wax museum in Hamburg. An interesting twist: Thunberg’s sculpture is reportedly the first in the museum that will change clothes as the seasons change. Kind of odd if you think about it, though. With the temperature rising due to climate change is this going to turn into some kind of bizarre striptease or something? And what about the issue of melting wax, huh? Has anybody given that any thought? Maybe it’s time to start a new movement to combat that. Do I have to think of everything here, people?

Greta 2

Can you tell which one up there is Greta and which one is made of wax? You don’t think both could be made of wax, do you?

Who Would Have Thought That Possible?

That the film guru in charge of the Berlin Film Festival’s propaganda efforts from 1951 until 1976 was also closely involved with the Nazis’ film propaganda efforts, I mean.

Nazi

Ex-Nazis in Germany? In the 1950s? How could that be possible?

Will the horrors never cease? First all the crappy movies. Now we find out that the whole shebang is Nazi-verseucht (infected). Let’s call the whole thing off.

The Berlin Film Festival turns 70 this year, but plans for the anniversary celebration have been overshadowed by new revelations that Alfred Bauer, Berlin’s first festival director, had deep ties to the Nazis.

33% More Women Directors?

Fine with me. Just as long as they can ensure that 97% of the movies shown at the Berlinale remain as crappy as they’ve always been.

Women

This morning’s Berlinale Competition line-up announcement featured 33% films (six of 18) with women directors, including one project, DAU. Natasha, which is co-directed by a man and a woman (Ilya Khrzhanovskiy and Jekaterina Oertel).

That’s a drop on last year’s percentage of 41%, when seven of 17 pics selected were from female filmmakers (the figure is seven of 16, 44%, if you don’t count Zhang Yimou’s One Second, which was pulled before it screened).

Still, the Berlin fest continues to compare favourably to the other major European festivals. In 2019, Venice featured just two women directors of the 21 films in its Competition (less than 10%), while Cannes selected four of 21 (19%).

Berlin Competition Lineup: Kelly Reichardt, Sally Potter, Abel Ferrara, Christian Petzold; Disney’s ‘Onward’ & Hillary Clinton Also Heading To Fest

58 Percent Female Directors

And 97 percent crappy movies. Which is actually down from past years. So keep up the good work or something.

Crap

The Berlin Film Festival on Wednesday unveiled its Generations sidebar lineup, consisting of 59 children and youth films, with 58 percent of the titles, both feature-length and short films, directed by women.

Berlin organizers recently also said that the festival’s co-production market, where producers look for partners to finance their new projects, will feature more than 50 percent female-directed films for the first time in its 17-year history.

PS: What prevented the token woman from getting her diet coke from the soda machine? She didn’t have enough quotas to pay for it.

German Of The Day: Rekordhöhe

That means record level. As in record level of German weapons sales.

Record

The federal government has authorized a record level of weapons exports. The number of export permits for armaments reached a new record high. Compared to the previous year, there was an increase of at least 65 percent for 2019.

Bundesregierung genehmigt Rüstungsexporte in Rekordhöhe – Die Zahl der Exportgenehmigungen für Rüstungsgüter hat einen neuen Höchststand erreicht. Im Vergleich zum Vorjahr gab es 2019 eine Steigerung von mindestens 65 Prozent.

It’s Magic

Christmas magic. The German media clones (aka Brain Police) are passing around Christmas presents in a frenzy.

Media

On the one hand: The number of applications for asylum in Europe is climbing again for the first time since 2015 (half a Million). On the other hand: The number of asylum seekers in Germany continues to decline.

At first glance, this doesn’t make much sense. Taking a closer look, however, this doesn’t make any sense at all. But tis the season to be jolly, folks, so when it comes to fake news numbers, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Fast eine halbe Million Menschen: Eurostat meldet laut einem Medienbericht erstmals seit 2015 steigende Asylantragszahlen. Deutschland nimmt jedoch relativ gesehen immer weniger Menschen auf.

The Scandal Nobody Wants To Talk About

Because it reveals the Media Brain Police for who they are.

Relotius

Granted, this guy was a real artist but can you imagine the armies of lesser charlatans out there who furnish us with our news each and every day? No media bias or fake news here, right?

The furore surrounding Der Spiegel journalist Claas Relotius is back, with a book by the colleague who exposed him –

Fiction and non-fiction can feed off each other in unusual ways. In the winter of 2018, Germany was shaken by the biggest media scandal since the forged Hitler diaries, after it emerged that the country’s bastion of investigative journalism – DER SPIEGEL – had published stories by a reporter who had “fictionalised” his prize-winning articles with armies of invented characters. Now the “Relotius scandal” has gone into its second round, with the publication of a non-fiction book by the journalist who exposed his fraudulent colleague: a detective story about the search for truth in the era of fake news that makes a more gripping read than most novelists could have managed…

Before he was exposed, he had won the top prize for German reporters, the Reporterpreis, four times in six years. One judge praised his stories as jumping off the page “almost like literature”. He was in line for a promotion at Der Spiegel.