Two Down, One To Go

After yesterday’s tragic crash of two Eurofighters during a training mission over Northern Germany, the German Luftwaffe is down to one operational plane of that design.

Air Force

But they are really, really good planes, we are told. Again and again. Top of the line state of the art. But state of the art isn’t even good enough these days, especially when most of them don’t even fly. That’s why the Eurofighter is now to be replaced with the “Future Combat Air System.” This one won’t have to leave the ground, either, I assume, which will make things a lot easier. It will just beam to the future and do its future combat fighting there.

Nach Unglück: Hat die Luftwaffe wirklich nur noch einen einsatzfähigen „Eurofighter“?

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German Of The Day: Andere Länder Andere Sitten

That means other countries other customs.

Vatertag

Finally, a holiday for the rest of us.

German Oddity 391. Only in Germany is Vatertag or Father’s Day commemorated by hordes of oddly dressed men pulling little wooden wagons overloaded with beer and snaps through wooded areas (or right through the middle of your town) roaring and swearing and pissing all over the place until they vomit on themselves and pass out but not before having called their wives to pick them up and drag them back home again.

The Race For Last Place

The Germans did their damnedest, as usual.

But not even after receiving Null Punkte (zero points) from the audience were they able to come in at very last place at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. Nice effort though, girls. And congratulations to the UK!

Allenfalls mit Außenseiterchancen fuhr das Duo S!sters aus Deutschland zum ESC nach Tel Aviv. Tatsächlich erhielt es bei der Publikumsabstimmung die Höchststrafe.

German Of The Day: Rosinenbomber

That means raisin bomber. Or candy bomber, if you prefer.

Raisin Bomber

Dignitaries from around the world have gathered in Berlin to commemorate the 70th anniversary of the end of the Berlin airlift.

The Soviet Union entirely blockaded the western parts of the German capital in June 1948, when the country and the city were divided into US, UK, French and Soviet occupation sectors after World War Two.

“I did not ask permission.” – Gen. Lucius D. Clay, the U.S. commander in Berlin who started the airlift without clearance from Washington.

Marginal Art Marginalized In Berlin

Marginal art made by marginal artists, that is. Actually, the story’s about the marginal artists who are upset about being marginalized, for being marginal.

White

There is a difference here, of course, albeit a marginal one. I have an idea. Perhaps, just maybe I’m thinking, if they made their art better and not so marginally successful they could stop being so marginal and protest about something else a little less marginally interesting.

Earlier this week, stickers and posters started circulating in and around the city of Berlin that point to a disparaging fact: according to a group of arts activists, 75% of the artists being platformed at Berlin Gallery Weekend are white and male.

The stickers protesting the lack of diversity within the Berlin art scene feature a white sausage — known in German as Weisswurst — against the blue background of Berlin Gallery Weekend’s main logo and branding typography.

Real American Boys

Thank you, Dirk, Uwe and Detlef!

Dirk

Watching Dirk run/stumble around the American Airlines Center on Friday night against Memphis in a glorified preseason game was bittersweet, and an ideal reminder there is no Dirk without the two Germans who came long before him.

Mavericks fans, when you thank Dirk, be sure to nod and clap for Uwe Blab and Detlef Schrempf. That duo didn’t make Dirk, but they made what he did possible.

“When I was a kid growing up in Germany, I was a complete outcast,” said Blab, who is 57 and lives in Dripping Springs and works in Austin. “I was 7-foot-2, 180 pounds. I was a freak. No girls. Nothing. Many negative comments, and just this general attitude when you walked into a place. I came to America, and it was, ‘Ohhhhhhh — look at that guy.’ I had a new life here. I was totally accepted.”

How Could It Not?

Not win, I mean. This is the Berlin Film Festival, after all.

Berlinale

Argentine LGBTQ Sci-Fi Film Wins Berlin Festival’s Teddy Award.

That’s the Berlinale for you. If it’s not about LGBTQ Sci-Fi films it’s about politics. Or should I say other forms of politics?

Santiago Loza’s Brief Story From the Green Planet, an odd genre-mixer involving a trio of LGBTQ friends who discover an actual alien sleeping in the house of one of their late grandmother’s, won the Teddy Award for best LGBTQ film screening at the 69th Berlin International Film Festival.

The Berlin International Film Festival has always been a political stage for filmmakers, and the 69th edition is no exception.

Even I Can See That These Are Fakes

A. HitPer? Never heard of him.

Hitper

Three watercolour paintings attributed to the former Nazi leader Adolf Hitler have been seized by German police.

The works were up for sale at the Kloss auction house in Berlin, but taken on suspicions of forgery, police say.

“Wir verwahren uns mit aller Entschiedenheit dagegen, dass uns von unberufener Seite eine Nähe zum nationalsozialistischen Gedankengut allein deswegen unterstellt wird, weil wir – ähnlich wie andere Auktionshäuser weltweit, gerade auch in Deutschland – Gegenstände aus dem Nachlass Hitlers versteigern.”

Germans Have Chutzpah, Too

Jew got to hand it to this guy.

Jew

A 71-year-old chairman of the small Jewish community in the city of Pinneberg in the German state of Schleswig-Holstein faces an accusation from the magazine Der Spiegel that he is not Jewish, deceiving Jewish members since 2003.

When confronted with this fact, the man went ballistic.

“Walter, come off it. You’re not even fucking Jewish.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re fucking Polish Catholic.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia!”

“Yeah, and you were divorced five fucking years ago.”

“Yeah? What do you think happens when you get divorced? You turn in your library card? Get a new driver’s license? Stop being Jewish?”

“It’s just part of your whole sick Cynthia thing. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You’re living in the fucking past.”

“Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I’M LIVING IN THE PAST!”

Der gefühlte Jude.