Dear Hollywood

It’s Christmas season so here’s my wish. I know your first and foremost priority is to bash everything time-honored and traditional about us (as in US). I understand and respect that (actually I don’t, that was just a figure of speech). But seeing what’s going on in the world at this moment I would really appreciate it if you could possibly consider bringing back one of your own time-honored genres: The wartime drama. You know, like Casablanca? You could refer to it as a wartime propaganda film if that makes you feel better about it, of course.

Casablanca

I would like this Casablanca to have a Muslim hero in it, however. A Muslim Rick, so-to-speak. The reason being that one of the obvious intentions of the ISIS attacks in France (coming to Germany soon!) is to incite hatred against the Muslims living here and to hopefully, from their point of view, have this hatred lead to some form of civil war in ze Europe.

This may have seemed far-fetched a short time ago but a thoughtful look at the current atmosphere in Germany, for instance, should convince you that this is well within the realm of the possible.

The Traumfabrik (dream factory) needs to give us a positive Muslim role model here, in other words. The “normal,” moderate Muslims living here need one erst recht (all the more). This Ric, too, will need to do the right thing and combat the evil that is terrorizing us all and explain to everyone how it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, of course.

I know you’re busy and all these days and I really hate to bother you (another figure of speech) but I’m just thinking out loud here.

PS: Scarlett Johansson would make a great Ingrid Bergman character. No head scarves or anything, though.

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7 responses

  1. Dear Hermann, sorry we don´t really possess any time-honored genres. That would be too nationalistic/patriotic to bear in a leftist-green ideology. And please don´t try to put a muslim rifleman on screen for Christmas.

  2. Take the screenplay to The Virginian, set it in an urban environment, and make James Drury’s character a muslim — heck, go really Hollywood and make him a black, handicapped, transgender muslim who only eats organic/cruelty free/non-GMO, refuses to wear leather, and stops terrorism with…well, something other than a scary shooty thing. He uses his knowledge of pre-19th century Kyoto haiku or something, that shows he’s sophisticated (aka. un-Ami) and stuff.

    And I always found Marlin’s answer to the ’94 to be a little bit better using, but that’s personal preference coming into play.

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