German Intelligence At Its Best

I mean like that spy kind of intelligence intelligence, you know what I mean?

Sleepeer Cell

A top official at Bavaria’s department of the Office for the Protection of the Constitution has gone way out on a limb and said that ISIS sleepers “may have arrived as refugees” in Germany. “We have irrefutable evidence that there is an ISIS command structure that makes an attack in Germany highly possible.”

He also said in a later comment that “The risk is abstract, but very high that the Pope is a Catholic.”

“Das Risiko ist zwar abstrakt, aber sehr hoch. Wir müssen akzeptieren, dass wir Hit-Teams und Schläferzellen auch hier in Deutschland haben.”

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

“I always knew that German tourists were a laugh a minute but this number here nearly KILLED me!”

Stunt

Five young German women were arrested after a flash mob stunt at a Spanish resort sparked a terror alert, police said Wednesday (Aug 3).

The five caused a stampede in Platja d’Aro in the northeastern region of Catalonia late Tuesday when one of them pretended to be a celebrity and the rest chased after her, whooping and screaming as they tried to snap her paparazzi-style…

Eleven people needed treatment for bruising and panic attacks.

The stunt occurred on the heels of an assault in the French Riviera resort of Nice on July 14 in which a man killed 84 people by ramming them with a truck.

Angeblich sollte dabei die Verfolgungsjagd eines Prominenten durch Paparazzi simuliert werden.

German Of The Day: Bewährungsprobe

That means a test. As in a litmus test. As in the proving ground. As in testing times.

Yeah, that’s it. Testing times. And that, according to Chancellor Merkel herself, is what Germany is going through at the moment.

But it ain’t no big deal because, well, no. There still is no Plan B. And yes, “wir schaffen das” (we can do it). “We” meaning “you” in this case, of course. But still.

“Das ist eine Bewährungsprobe. Ich bin überzeugt, dass wir das schaffen.”

German Of The Day: Abschiedskultur

Yesterday we discussed the German Willkomenskultur (welcome culture). Today the very latest big thing is a new German word called Abschiedskultur (farewell or send-off culture).

Asylum

There are over 200,000 asylum seekers who have been denied asylum here in Germany but are still here. After the latest terror attacks – committed by two of them – a CDU politician (from Angela Merkel’s welcome culture party itself) has now had the audacity to say that it’s high time for the German government to see to it that those denied asylum actually go.

Boy oh boy did this guy ever take a dive into some hot water.

Wer abgelehnt wird, muss gehen.

PS: Sorry, I just double-checked. Only one of those two asylum seekers was denied asylum. The other one was “well-integrated.”

Too Early To Tell

Again, I mean.

Ansbach

There will be no jumping to conclusions here, dear German readers. It is verboten or something. But we do have to consider the remote possibility that maybe, just perhaps, this latest attack in Ansbach was also an act of Islamic terror (itself). It is too early to tell, however, like I said. And we certainly would not want to hurt anybody’s feelings by doing so.

What is going on in Germany?, the BBC journalist above asks. Well just don’t ask any German journalists if you want to know.

Es „fühlte sich wie Terror an“, muss aber keiner gewesen sein.

Neanderthals Back In Germany

Neanderthals once populated the entire European continent. Around 45,000 years ago, Homo neanderthalensis was the predominant human species in Europe. They reached their population peak right before their population rapidly declined and they eventually became extinct.

Neanderthal

Or so it was thought until recently.

Ax

Precisely why this species will finally die out for good is still unclear. Perhaps it will be due to low genetic diversity, perhaps to the rise of Homo sapiens like the rest of us with real brains. This question will continue to occupy amateur scientists like myself for some time to come.

Too Early To Speculate

And we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions here, German politicians have been quick to say (and this is also why you will not find a single German news report with the word “terror” in it).

Attack

Just because the attacker was a refugee from Afghanistan who shouted “Allahu Akbar” (God is great) during the attack does not necessarily mean that this is the latest Islamic terror attack, you know. It is much more the case, we are about to be told, that German society isn’t doing enough to integrate these unfortunate individuals. And that police brutality is rampant überall these days, etc. Stay tuned.

A hand-drawn Islamic State flag was found in the room of the 17-year-old Afghan refugee who attacked passengers on a train in southern Germany before being shot dead by police, the interior minister for the state of Bavaria said on Tuesday.

Er war wohl ein afghanischer Flüchtling. In seinem Zimmer wurde eine handgemalte IS-Flagge gefunden.

PS: I think it’s high time that Germany introduce more stringent axe control.

Two Americans, Three Germans Among Those Killed in Attack in Nice

The U.S. State Department said Friday that two American citizens were among those killed in the truck attack in Nice, as authorities here began the grim task of identifying the scores of dead and hospitals remained in a state of emergency.

Nice

Reinhard Naumann, mayor of the Berlin borough of Charlottenburg and Wilmersdorf, said two German students and one teacher from the Paula Fürst School in his district were killed in the attack.

Terrorists In Germany?

Huh? Since when?

Terror

“A spokesman for the prosecutor declined to comment on whether the two suspects posed as refugees or sought asylum in Germany or elsewhere in Europe.”

Germany arrested three Syrian citizens on suspicion of planning an Islamic State terror attack in the city of Düsseldorf, the country’s top prosecutor said Thursday.

Two men, identified as Saleh A. and Hamza C., joined Islamic State in Syria in early 2014 and received orders from the organization’s leadership to carry out an attack in the bustling old town in Düsseldorf, the prosecutor’s office said in a statement on the arrests. The two plotted to attack one of Düsseldorf’s main streets with two suicide bombings, and then “to kill as many passersby as possible with guns and further explosives,” the prosecutor said. The two left for Turkey and then separately traveled to Germany via Greece in March and July 2015, the prosecutor said. Hundreds of thousands of refugees and migrants also entered Europe via Turkey and Greece last year.

Über Balkanroute eingereist

PS: And call me bekloppt (wacky), but I think I detect a pattern here, too.

German Authorities Not Sure Yet But Think Her Knife Attack May Not Have Been Your Everyday, Run-Of-The-Mill 15-Year-Old Girl Kind Of Knife Attack

And it must be those glasses that are making them so suspicious, right? She tried to kill a police officer in Hanover in February.

ISIS

Reporters from German public broadcasters WDR and NDR as well as the daily newspaper “Süddeutsche Zeitung” were able to gain access to chat logs between Safia S. and a fellow Islamist in Hanover.
 
The chat logs showed that the 15-year-old met with IS members during a trip to Turkey in January. She intended on crossing into Syria, but wrote that there was a “change of plans.”

The IS members asked her to travel back to Germany to “surprise the unbelievers.”

“They told me it has a greater benefit,” Safia S. wrote, adding that it would be “really fun.” She also wrote about a “martyr operation.”

Die 15-Jährige Schülerin Safia S., die im Februar einem Polizisten am Hauptbahnhof in Hannover in den Hals stach, soll im Auftrag von ISIS gehandelt haben!

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