Only In Germany

I don’t make this stuff up, people.

Sami

As reported earlier, after finally deporting Osama bin Laden’s freeloading bodyguard (he and his family received welfare payments for years/decades while he worked as an Islamist hate preacher), German authorities have now realized that the other German authorities who did the deporting did not deport Sami A in the proper German legalese fashion so… Now they want him back. In order to deport him again. Only this time gründlich (thoroughly). Without any Pfusch (botching it).

It’s times like these I think there really is something to this old Oswald Spengler stuff.

Germany suspects 42-year-old Sami A. of working as a bodyguard to late al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. A German court wants him to return from Tunisia after ruling his deportation was illegal.

Anwältin: Sami A. soll mit Visum nach Deutschland.

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Germany Quick To Deport Osama Bin Laden’s Bodyguard

Relatively quick. For Germany, at least. He’s only been living in and off the country since 1997.

Sami

Sami A. was considered a security risk while living in the western city of Bochum, where he was receiving €1,168 (£1,022) a month in welfare payments. His asylum application was rejected in 2007.

“I can confirm that Sami A was sent back to Tunisia this morning and handed over to Tunisian authorities.”

Crisis? What Crisis?

It’s not like the migrant crisis I singlehandedly caused is a crisis or anything. They just call it that.

Ricin

Or that this so-called migrant crisis I unleashed also caused the surge in populism that is currently surging in Germany. Or that any of these so-called migrants are endangering the German public. They’re not. It’s those yuicky terrorists that came into the country illegally with them. When they came into the country illegally, I mean. What, me worry?

Not Angela Merkel. She’s the Blob. Changes form at will. And nobody can lift her up out of that chair. Right?

Not even 100 days after she negotiated her way to a fourth term as German leader, Angela Merkel is mired in a political crisis that underscores Europe’s divisions over immigration amid a surge in populism.

Das in Köln sichergestellte Rizin hätte für Hunderte toxische Dosen gereicht. Verfassungsschutzpräsident Maaßen nimmt an, dass mit dem Gift ein Anschlag geplant war.

A Little Bit Of Ricin Isn’t Going To Hurt Anybody

Not after an even smaller bit of ricin already killed everybody off first.

Ricin

The next Syrian refugee (this time a Tunisian Syrian refugee from Tunisia) has been caught misbehaving again. German police are questioning the 29-year-old after having stormed his apartment in Cologne and finding this interesting substance, should these reports be of substance.

Daily newspaper Express and local daily Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger reported that police had found ricin, a substance that can be highly toxic in small amounts. Authorities have not confirmed the reports…

Elite SEK police commandos and specialized chemical units from the police and fire departments were at the scene of the 18-story apartment block in Cologne’s northern Chorweiler district late on Tuesday. A mobile laboratory was set up in the entrance area of the apartment to analyze any dangerous substance.

German public broadcaster, WDR, quoted the attorney general as saying that there were indications that the person arrested may have planned an attack with the substances.

EXPRESS und „Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger“ erfuhren aus Ermittlerkreisen, um was für eine Substanz es sich handeln soll, die bei dem SEK-Großeinsatz am Dienstagabend in der Wohnung des Tatverdächtigen aufgefunden wurde: Rizin ist der drittgiftigste Stoff der Welt – 25.000-mal tödlicher als Strychnin.

PS: Just in case you were wondering (see yesterday’s post), North Korea won!

German Of The Day: Sozial

That means caring. You know, like the German state? It is caring and social (“social” here, of course, just being a different word for “free of charge”).

Sami

And it turns out that one of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguards, Tunesian Salafi Sami A. (he lost the other letters of his last name in a tragic car crash or something, I guess) has been receiving over 1,100 euros a month from the social German state since 2008 to chill around the house somewhere in the Ruhr Valley and do nothing except watch his beard grow. Or maybe reminisce now and then about the good old days with the Big O. himself. And the Germans do this even though the Tunisians would like to have a word with Sami A. Germany won’t extradite him, however, being sozial and all and fearing that Tunisia might subject him to “inhuman” or “demeaning” treatment. You know, like not getting him a flat-screen TV or a sufficiently fast WiFi connection for his cell?

You laugh but just think about it. How would Germany look returning the bodyguard of a mass murderer to a country like that?

Die deutsche Justiz geht davon aus, dass A. “mit beachtlicher Wahrscheinlichkeit Folter, unmenschliche oder erniedrigende Behandlung drohen.”

Modern Art For Modern Sensibilities

I know, modern isn’t modern anymore but being a martyr is about as modern as it gets these days.

Art

At least that’s the case at “The Other Eye of The Tiger” art exhibition in Berlin Kreuzberg.

This “martyr museum” places one of the Islamist terrorists responsible for killing 89 innocent people at the Bataclan in Paris next to people like Martin Luther King. One of the artists explains it thus to us dumb folks: One has to differentiate when considering the term martyr, he says. And it always depends on the context. Indeed it does. Always. Even I knew that. How do people get this confused?

Don’t try to understand art, people. Just experience it. Then after you’ve vomited it all out move on to the next exhibition.

Am Ende der Reihe steht Ismaël Omar Mustafaï, einer der Islamisten von Paris, die am 13.?November 2015 im Konzertsaal Bataclan in Paris 89 Menschen ermordeten.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

The Glühwein (mulled wine), the ornaments, the Christmas markets fortified with concrete blocks…

Xmas

Traditional Christmas markets are opening across Germany amid heightened security, almost a year after a terror attack on a Berlin Christmas market killed 12… The Berlin Christmas market, where a Tunisian attacker rammed a truck into visitors on Dec. 19, is to open Monday night with a candlelight ceremony.

Knapp ein Jahr nach dem islamistischen Anschlag ist der Weihnachtsmarkt an der Gedächtniskirche wieder offen. Betonbarrieren und Polizei sollen das Geschäft nicht trüben.

Maybe The Taliban Could Run For Election Here, Too

The German election system certainly is a transparent one. It is easy for anyone here who is interested to see, for instance, that Germany’s Bundeswahlleiter (Federal Election Commissioner), whoever that might be, has one hell of a sense of humor.

PLFP

He/she has allowed the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), an Iran-backed terror group, to campaign as a political party in this month’s parliamentary election. The punch line, I guess, or one of them, is that the PFLP plans to run with the Marxist-Leninist Party of Germany.

No one here is interested, however. Why should they be? The PFLP is just another one of those boring, everyday German political parties that puts everybody asleep. Sure, it’s been linked to numerous terror incidents and killings and all that but it’s not like it’s the AfD or anything.

Die MLPD betreibt jetzt Wahlkampf als internationalistische Liste/MLPD, unter anderem mit der palästinensischen Terrororganisation PFLP, die durch Anschläge bekannt wurde.

Brother Of Safia S. Now Islamist Criminal, Too

And his name is Brother S.

Safia

Sorry, I mean Saleh S. And don’t even think of telling me that you don’t know who Safia S. is cause I know you do. But now her brother, Saleh S., has been given seven years of Jugendstrafe (youth custody) for carrying out an Islamist-motivated arson attack. In Germany, people. That means he could literally spend months in prison.

Mother S. and Father S. could not be reached for comment. Nor could Cousin S. (no relation to Cousin Itt). Nor could the Dog S. of the Great Aunt S. of the Neighbor Across The Street S. Okay, S. reicht (that’s enough) already!

Das Landgericht der Stadt hat Saleh S. nun wegen versuchten Mordes in sieben Fällen schuldig gesprochen. Dem Gericht zufolge hat der junge Mann gestanden, am 5. Februar 2016 aus islamistischen Motiven zwei Molotow-Cocktails in den Haupteingang eines Einkaufszentrums in Hannover geworfen zu haben.

PS: Talk about your Fahrenheit 351 (I know, it’s actually Fahrenheit 451). There are currently 351 Islamists with warrants out for their arrests being searched for by police in Germany. It is unclear, however, how many of them are members of the S. family.

There Has To Be A Connection Here Somewhere

What? Something happened in London, too? Imagine that.

Rock

I mean, after concrete terror threats forced German police to temporarily shut down the Rock am Ring music festival in Nuerburg and an Afghan man who killed a boy at a German refugee center near Regensburg was also shot and killed and German police arrested a 17-year-old asylum seeker suspected of planning a suicide attack in Berlin and… There were a few more there but I lose track of them these days. In the good old days, when these things only took place once a week or so, they were a whole lot easier to classify and arrange in order.

Something tells me that these terrible events must all be tied together somehow. I can feel it. There has to be a common thread connecting them but I just can’t figure out what it is. I bet you Sherlock Holmes could, though. If such a person existed, I mean.

PS: In an unrelated story, the rate of deportations is stagnating in Germany.