Warning: Nationwide Warning System Doesn’t Work

No sirens sounded all throughout Germany yesterday as the country conducted its first nationwide emergency warning system test since 1990.

Warning

Nor did the apps that were supposed to send alerts to people’s phones during the test function.

An anonymous spokesman for the German government was satisfied with the reuslts, however. “Let this be a warning to us all,” he said.

One Twitter user added: “Anyone who didn’t hear any sirens will receive a warning signal by fax or mail in the next 14 days.”

 

Iowa Disaster Greater Than Originally Feared

At least on German television it is.

Iowa

The Iowa Democratic vote-reporting meltdown was so catastrophic that it physically moved the state to where Colorado used to be. The whereabouts of Colorado are unknown at this time.

App Used to Tabulate Votes Is Said to Have Been Inadequately Tested

Literally Dozens Of Anti-Trump Protesters Rebuild Berlin Wall

Like in a manner of minutes or something, too.

Trump

Although it is still unclear to me why they did this. I mean, just because they say that Trump “is a narcissist, xenophobe, fascist, racist and a phony populist,” doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t a nice guy.

Stranger still is that they then tore their Berlin wall right back down again. Talk about your never-ending, Sisyphean task. Sheesh.

And the shocking historical ignorance they demonstrate here really infuriates me, too. Everybody in Berlin knows that Donald Trump was not in the least responsible for tearing down the Berlin Wall. David Haselhoff was.

Americans residing abroad tend to be far more left-wing than their compatriots back in the US.

Pokémon Go Home

Please.

Pokémon Go

“The game has gotten off to a good start in Germany. More than 7.7 million people, that’s 11 percent of the population, have downloaded and installed the app. By way of comparison, in Great Britain it’s 13 percent, 5.4 million of these players still playing. 34.4 million Americans have downloaded Pokémon Go and 30.8 million of them are still actively on the hunt. 10 million have made purchases through the app.”

In Deutschland hat das Spiel einen starken Start hingelegt. Mehr als 7,7 Millionen Menschen, also 11 Prozent der Bevölkerung, haben die App heruntergeladen und installiert.