Meet Merkel’s Mini-Me Man

The other two candidates competing for the job of CDU party boss had actually stood up to her in the past. They never had a chance.

Laschet

German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s center-right party on Saturday chose Armin Laschet, the pragmatic governor of Germany’s most populous state, as its new leader — sending a signal of continuity months before an election in which voters will decide who becomes the new chancellor.

Laschet defeated Friedrich Merz, a conservative and one-time Merkel rival, at an online convention of the Christian Democratic Union. Laschet won 521 votes to Merz’s 466. A third candidate, prominent lawmaker Norbert Roettgen, was eliminated in a first round of voting.

But who am I to criticize how other countries run their elections? I am a citizen of the Banana Republic of America.

 

German Of The Day: Einspruch

That means objection. Or raise an objection. Or lodge an appeal.

Objection

A group of GOP senators led by Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, say they’ll object Wednesday to the certification of the presidential election results that favored Democrat Joe Biden over President Trump — unless there is an emergency 10-day audit of the results by an electoral commission.

Weitere Republikaner aus dem US-Senat wollen bei der anstehenden Zertifizierung der Präsidentschaftswahlergebnisse im Kongress Einspruch einlegen.

 

German Of The Day: Wunder

That means miracle. As in miraculous.

Voting

You know, like Joe Biden receiving 138,339 votes in an overnight vote-dump in Michigan and Donald Trump not getting one? As in zero?

Then another mysterious all-Biden vote-dump happened in Wisconsin. Biden miraculously overcame a 4.1-point Trump lead in the middle of the night thanks to vote dumps in which he got—you guessed it—100 percent of the votes and Trump got zero.

Now another miracle is taking place in Pennsylvania. In 2020 the Wunder never cease, I guess.

German Of The Day: Fehlbesetzung

That means the wrong choice, as in choosing the wrong person. Well, at least the voters didn’t choose her.

Ursula

Hey, Ursula von der Leyen ruined the German Bundeswehr. She has a proven track record. That’s how she got her raise to ruin what’s left of Europe in the first place. She never had to run for election, folks. Backroom politics at its best. Why should she? She was one of Angie Merkel’s girls. Is anybody really surprised by any of this?

In the midst of the deepest crisis Europe is desperately seeking leadership. The new Commission President is proving to be weak in every respect.

Inmitten tiefster Krisen sucht Europa händeringend nach Führung. Die neue Kommissionspräsidentin erweist sich in jeder Hinsicht als schwach.

A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.

Dull And Duller

Or: Non-Party Elects Nonentities To Non-Lead Them.

Dull

Does anybody out there remember the uncola? Doesn’t matter. I’m sure you get the idea. Germany’s SPD (Social Democratic Party) has just made the leap to unparty status. Or non-party, if you prefer. I do. Nobody can figure this out. These two came out of nowhere because that’s where they belong. How can I put it? They are sheep in sheep’s clothing. Dull? These two are so dull that either one of them, on his or her own, could make the perfect chairman of the bored. But two of them together? Like, at the same time? It’s just too much to take.

Two strong leftist critics of the coalition with Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives – Norbert Walter-Borjans and Saskia Esken – won a vote for leadership of the Social Democrats on Saturday, possibly putting the country, Europe’s largest economy, at a political crossroads.

Their ascendancy raises the chances of an early election or a minority government if the SPD leaves the coalition, which could trigger political instability at a time when the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) has become the country’s third-largest party.

“I think it is good that the SPD has made a decision.” Loud yawn. “It paves the way to return to business. For the CDU it is quite clear: we stand by this coalition. We stand by this coalition on the basis that has been negotiated.”

German Of The Day: Grottenschlecht

That means abysmal, godawful, extremely bad, mega-bad and really sucky.

Merz

And after the CDU’s latest election disaster in Thuringia, Angela Merkel/Mini-Merkel adversary Friedrich Merz has grown the cojones (that’s Spanish so you’ll have to look that up somewhere else) needed to call Angela Merkel and her team’s “leadership” skills just that. Which, of course, they are. Somebody has to. Not that it’s going to make a difference or anything. But somebody has to.

German, European stability prospects unclear after Thuringia election – The far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) led by Björn Höcke — whose local political faction is being investigated for extremism — doubled its vote share to place second with 23%. The CDU placed third with 22%, followed by the SPD with 8%. The environmentalist Greens and the liberal Free Democrats (FDP) both finished with about 5% of the vote, the minimum needed to reenter the regional parliament.

„Das gesamte Erscheinungsbild der deutschen Bundesregierung ist einfach grottenschlecht.”

You Are A Racist

‘You are a racist,’ Germans tell AfD politician.

AfD

Then they called him a bigot, a fascist and a Nazi, I’m sure. You know, the standard leftist/status quo “argumentation” used all over the world against anyone who does not agree with them about, well, anything.

Oddly, though, AfD gains expected in battle for political heart of Germany – Party whose leader is labelled a Nazi is on par with CDU going into Thuringia poll on Sunday.

So are all of these Germans in Thuringia racists, bigots, fascists and Nazis? Of course they’re not. Hmmm. Then these Germans must be voting for the “Alternative for Germany” party for some other reason. Why don’t we ask the “established” parties that have been in power for years and years and years in Germany what they think the reason could be.

“We have been left behind.”

Now This Is What I Call Equality

Germans know how to do this stuff. When everybody loses over here then everybody loses equally.

Merkel

Everyone Loses in Germany – Voters in state elections effectively choose ‘none of the above.’

European elections these days are generally contests between a beleaguered mainstream and insurgent alternatives. Voters in two German states on Sunday chose a form of “none of the above” as the country stumbles out of the Angela Merkel era.

It Doesn’t Matter Who Replaces Merkel. Germany Is Broken.