Iowa Disaster Greater Than Originally Feared

At least on German television it is.

Iowa

The Iowa Democratic vote-reporting meltdown was so catastrophic that it physically moved the state to where Colorado used to be. The whereabouts of Colorado are unknown at this time.

App Used to Tabulate Votes Is Said to Have Been Inadequately Tested

German Roots?

What? Like hair roots? They look like they could have been developed in a German laboratory to me.

Trump

Now we know why this guy rubs so many of us the wrong way. His real name is actually Trumpf. Or it could have been. Sorry, I can’t find a German equivalent for Donald (they even call Donald Duck Donald Duck over here, in case you were wondering).

The ancestors of the “anti-immigrant” crusader Donald Trump come from a small village in western Germany. The documentary film “Kings of Kallstadt” explores the modest roots of the family’s real estate empire.

Frederick Trump immigrated to the US in 1885.