Bayern Munich Wins DFB Cup For The 2,397th Time

What a surprise or something. And right here in Berlin, too. And that after another fascinating goalless finish in normal time. I got lucky, though. I only injured my forehead twice (slightly) nodding off during the match.

Hummels

Bayern management has already announced plans to celebrate the occasion by buying the next best Borussia Dortmund superstar money can buy. If there are still any left that they haven’t bought already, I mean. You know, the rich get richer and all that?

Während Bayerns Thomas Müller im Pokalfinale einfach “die Eier in die Hand” nimmt, versagen Borussia Dortmund im Elfmeterschießen die Nerven. Das nächste Titeltrauma veranlasst BVB-Coach Tuchel zu einem Feuerwerk der Selbstkritik – inklusive einer verbalen Abschieds-Ohrfeige für Mats Hummels.

Literally Hundreds Celebrate Bayern München’s Champions League Victory At The Brandenburg Gate Public Viewing Party Thingy Last Night

It was raining like Katzen and Hunde, after all. So what do you expect?

Public Viewing

And, oh yeah. Bayern München won.

Bayern Munich are the club Germans love to hate: There may be some unresolved psychological issues too. The first football chant every German child learns is the Freudian “Zieht den Bayern die Lederhosen aus”: “Pull down the Bavarians’ lederhosen”.

PS: “Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie.”