Method Merkel

Although eight out of ten Germans feel that it’s time for Germany’s national trainer Joachim Low to go (his recent failures have been breathtaking), an all-time low for Low, Low won’t go.

Low

But, then again, why should he? He’s in good company. The numbers are very similar with regard to Chancellor Angela Merkel and nobody can get her to leave, either. She, like Low, refuse to face the consequences of their actions (or lack of action) while depicting themselves as being alternativlos (without alternative). There always is an alternative, however, as we all know, and the clock is ticking for both of them.

The coach could change things but he isn’t doing so. The team needs new blood.

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Germany Wins

Yawn. And nobody in Germany cares.

Germany

Germany was picked to host the 2024 European soccer championship and everybody is thrilled as can be. Not.

Berliners will probably even start organizing protests about holding any of the matches in the nation’s capital. They recently did their best to sabotoge Germany’s bid for the Olympics, too. They’re just Neinsager kind of folks, folks.

I feel sorry for the Turks. They have been turned down to host the EM 2008, 2012 and 2016 already. They would have been enthusiastic about hosting the event in their country but hey, it’s just sports. Curb your enthusiasm already.

Die Türkei scheiterte damit wie zuletzt bei den vergeblichen Anläufen für die EM 2008, 2012 und 2016.

German Of The Day Same German Of The Day As Friday German Of The Day: Totgesagte Leben Länger

That means “those declared dead live longer” or there’s life in the old dog yet.

Kroos

Stayin’ alive is stayin’ alive. And it was quite a thing to see live.

Germany’s World Cup hopes were hanging by a thread as they stood level at 1-1 with Sweden, knowing a draw would make it very hard for them to advance out of Group F. Then Toni Kroos stepped up in the game’s dying minutes…

Make Deutschland Kroos again!

German Of The Day: Die Mannschaft

The advertising marriage of VW and “Die Mannschaft”, as Germans call their team, starts on January 1, 2019 and runs until July 31, 2024.

Mannschaft

No financial details were released, but German media said Wolfsburg-based VW would pay the German Football Association DFB 25 million to 30 million euros ($28-34 million) a year, far more than Daimler has paid.

German Men Practically As Good As German Women

When it comes to Olympic soccer gold, I mean.

Soccer

Neymar scored the deciding spot kick in a riveting penalty shootout to give Brazil its first Olympic championship in men’s soccer at the Rio Games on Saturday. The host nation won the shootout 5-4 after goalkeeper Weverton blocked Nils Petersen’s fifth-round penalty to keep it at 4-4.

Germans Pulling For France In Tonight’s Semi-Final

That’s tonight’s France versus Germany match, folks.

France

“Of course there is more at stake than football. France is feeling its economic weakness and it must look on enviously as the whole of Europe becomes more German.”

“A victory over Germany would be far more than a game won. It would be an act of liberation… A strengthened France helps Europe and the Germans.”

“One heart says France has suffered enough, so many dead from terrorism, the economy is in decline, 10 percent unemployment. France needs some solace.”

I haven’t read otherwise so I’m going to go way out on the limb here and bet you that the French are pulling for France tonight, too.

Die Deutschen selbstbewusst, mit einer seit Langem bewährten Führung, erfolgsverwöhnt nach einschneidenden Reformen, die jetzt schon über ein Jahrzehnt zurückliegen. Also: Klinsmann gleich Schröder und Löw gleich Merkel. Die Franzosen hingegen verunsichert und krisenbelastet, mit einer seit vielen Jahren erfolglosen Führung ohne klare Linie. Ihr heutiger Trainer Didier Deschamps, wie Präsident François Hollande seit 2012 im Amt, wechselt so beständig die Systeme auf dem Platz wie sein Präsident die politische Taktik im Élysée-Palast.

Elfmeterhelden

Eleven Meter Heroes“?*

Germany

I’m there, dude. I just hope this flick is half as good as Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.

Woman

Germany had to negotiate the equal-longest penalty shootout in Euros history but they finally managed to overcome Italy in a competitive game to set up a last-four clash against hosts France or Iceland.

*Penalty kick heroes.