German rum runners everywhere were stunned to discover yesterday that evil US of Amerika has placed an embargo on communist Cuban goods some 50 years ago and that that nation’s Yankee imperialist lacky puppets eBay/PayPal will no longer allow them to import Cuban rum to Germany anymore (they froze their accounts).
When will the Unterdrückung (oppression) ever end or something?
“Der Händler kann weiter seine Artikel bei Ebay verkaufen, aber nicht über PayPal.”
“Berlin is littered with relics of its communist past, with one of the eeriest being Spreepark, where the remains of what was once East Germany’s only amusement park still stand.”
This whole city is one big abandoned communist funfair, lady (or at least big chunks of that Wild East part of town are).
They are everywhere I tell you, all around us, immer und überall, like vampires, or even zombies if you prefer. But maybe that’s just me.
By the way, that park was way cool when it was still running. Really cheesy and schräg. But maybe that’s just me too.
The amusement park’s history is as colorful as its rides once were. The Kulturpark Plaenterwald, as it was known under communism, was also used as a meeting point by youths rebelling against the state’s collectivist system.
It was 50 years ago today,
Walter Ulbricht lied his ass away (as in off).
He’s been going in and out of style (mostly out),
but he’s still guaranteed to raise a smile.
Some world-class lies are better (and more complex) than others, especially when they are answers to questions that nobody ever asked. Was his just a Freudian slip? Did he purposely bring up not building a wall to bring the issue (everyone leaving East Germany) to a head and finally get Krushchev’s permission to build the thing? Or was he just a fun-loving prankster. At the moment I’m inclined to think it’s that last one. If you listen closely to his little laugh, it sounds way too much like Barney Rubble’s (the German synchronization).
Das hämische Lachen, das die Dreistigkeit der Lüge auch 50 Jahre danach noch zu steigern vermag, trägt comichafte Züge. Kein Wunder, erinnert es doch stark an Barney Geröllheimer, den besten Freund von Fred Feuerstein aus der US-Zeichentrickserie „The Flintstones“. Zumindest in der deutschen Übersetzung gleicht Barneys – von Gerd Duwner synchronisierte – berühmte „Hehehehe“-Lache der von Walter Ulbricht, als der DDR-Staatsratsvorsitzende am 15. Juni 1961 in einer legendären Pressekonferenz Geschichte schreibt – in dem er auf eine Frage antwortet, die gar nicht gestellt worden ist.
OH MAA GAAAWD! Who would have ever in a zillion years expected a shocking Bekenntnis (confession) like this?
Sit down immediately and take your chill pills if you got ’em. Left Party Head Honcho of the East Gesine Lötzsch, of all people, has announced in the marxist (go look it up yourself) daily Junge Welt that she actually kind of sort of leans a bit toward communism at times if not always has and always will. She said, among other things: “We can only find the paths to communism if we go down these paths and try them out.”
And here is where I obviously missed something yet again, I guess. I never would have expected an acknowledgement like this from her in a zillion years either, but only because I was under the distinct impression that being a communist was one of the basic requirements for joining the Left Party in the first place.
No, but seriously, folks. Is this really supposed to be a news item or something?
“Wären morgen die Voraussetzungen dafür gegeben, die Linke hätte keinerlei Skrupel, wie nach 1945 die Demokratie zu nutzen, um sie erneut abzuschaffen.“
This has got to be the most insidious commi plot yet, or even ever. The German Communist Party in Essen (yes, it actually still exists) handed out pens to six-year-old kids that can project erotic images of women on walls and, well, I dunno, all over. And like, they even did it by accident.
Damn. I remember being pretty excited on my first day at school and all that but this really takes the cake, or Kuchen, if you prefer.
This truly is shocking and obscene. No, not the part about the pens so much (German sex ed starts really early over here anyway), I mean that the German Communist Party was allowed to hand out anything to six-year-old kids like that in the first place.
“The German Communist Party deeply regrets what has happened and is outraged that this kind of thing, which borders on pornography, can be purchased in normal shops.”
“Of the roughly 3,300 comments left on the virtual wall, around 1,500 have been in Chinese, said Carsten Hein, coordinator of the “berlintwitterwall.com” project.”
Or “piecing together history” as it suits you, if you prefer. Sure you can find something good to say about good old, bad old East Germany (that yucky communist one, remember?) if you want to. The thing that interests me is why on earth anyone would ever want to. Some young and dynamic SPD (East) politician did it again the other day, though (that’s SPD, not SED). He warned everyone not to always be putting everything that had to do with the GDR in a bad light because, well, gee… That wouldn’t be nice or something, I guess.
But as an older colleague of his noted in response, once you start arguing like that you could quickly find yourself defending the so-called good side of the Nazis – building the autobahn, putting people to work, stuff like that. And that, of course, wouldn’t be nice, either.
So why not just let dead dogs lie? After all, they have all their lying long behind them.
„Wer wie Sellering argumentiert, kommt schnell zu den vermeintlich guten Seiten der Nazis, dem Autobahnbau oder der Arbeitsbeschaffung.“
Angriff ist die beste Verteidigung, they say, especially when your position is indefensible. And that definitely goes for Egon Krenz, the GDR’s last boss (or undertaker on duty when it happened), who has now been let out of prison and will soon be publishing his tell-all book about how it really and truly was, “Prison Notes.”
In classic German Opfer (victim) style, Krenz will have written, under the most dreadful conditions in a, gulp, German correctional facility, his shocking (not) revelation (not) from an ex-communist (not) who still wants to play the martyr (yup). And he’ll succeed mit links (win hands down – with the left hand down, I guess).
Prison für Krenz was of course a living hell because they served dinner at three-thirty in the afternoon and he couldn’t identify the salad they served him, the margine was runny and somebody had even vomited in his sink once, he thinks (that was in the article I read, I swear). And worst of all, the guards would regularly take turns looking at him through that peep hole thingy in his cell door. Like how rude is that?
And what had he been sentenced for in the first place? A few measly dozen killings on the Berlin Wall, and he didn’t even pull the trigger (the big guys never do). He got six and a half years and actually had to sit out four (4) of them because he was being persecuted by capitalism or something. But thank goodness an expert evaluated him as having a “favorable social prognosis” (some expert always does) so he’s out now after all.
Yup, it’s autograph time at the editorial department of Neues Deutschland where he’s started his book selling tour. Of course the tour probably ends here, too, but still. His fans are all over him, hundreds showed up. Rumor is that one guy even got off with his prison pillow cases and has already auctioned them off on eBay.
Sure, he’ll probably make a lot of money with this book, but it’s not about money with Krenz, comrades. Or it’s not just about money, I should say. It’s about the snivelling, too. And the denial. And the victimization (his, of course). Lest we ever forget or something.
And besides, everybody loves a good horror story now and then.
“Jeder hat das Recht, sich so an die DDR zu erinnern, wie er sich erinnern will.”
Observing Hermann 