A Pattern Is Clearly Emerging

After years, if not centuries of intense observation, German climate scientists have now come to the shocking conclusion that it can get really hot here in the summer.

Summer

“As opposed to the winter  months,” one scientific interviewed said, “where we have observed a significant and prolonged drop in temperatures during the same period we took these measurements, it often happens that some summer days in Germany can get like, you know, hot as hell.” “Yeah,” another scientist colleague added, “and we now believe that this is most likely to take place during the month of July, for some odd reason.”

Germany swelters in record-breaking Europe heat wave – A record high temperature in Germany is forecast to stand for only a day as Europe’s second summer heat wave bites. Ships have been stranded, rail travelers urged to delay trips and tigers fed chicken ice blocks.

Today The Bottles, Tomorrow The Cans…

Germany marches on. It must. Even though Germans don’t like beer cans very much.

Beer

Germany running out of beer bottles as heatwave fuels demand – The situation is so acute that one local brewer has issued an emergency appeal to drinkers, calling for them to return their empties.

“We need your help!” the Moritz Fiege brewery in the city of Bochum wrote on Facebook. “Great weather + great beer = serious thirst. The catch: although we regularly buy new bottles, we’re running out. So before you go on your summer holiday, please be sure to return your Moritz Fiege empties to your local off license. Make your motto: first the empties, then the holiday!”

“This issue is causing an industry-wide drama.