Berlin’s Extinction Rebellion Already Extinct After About Forty Minutes

They were just dying to die-in, I guess.

Extinction

Literally dozens of members of the interplanetary environmentalist movement Extinction Rebellion beamed down to Berlin today to “swarm public squares only to collapse to the ground, symbolizing the death humanity faces if politicians don’t act against climate change” before being beamed back up to the mother ship again (or moth-er ship for that guy up there, maybe). Their message: If nobody “fixes” the climate pronto-like like yesterday already we may come back again before we all die anyway. And you don’t want that.

We’re showing that it’s not just about schoolchildren taking to the streets,” said Jojo, 29, a climate activist who ditched work to attend today’s rally.

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It’s Called Paranoia

Why is Germany a blank spot on Google’s Street View? See above.

Paranoia

There are good historical reasons why Germans are suspicious of surveillance — but is Google as bad as Gestapo or Stasi?

It’s to do with Germans’ curious sense of privacy: they’d rather flaunt their private parts than their personal data…

While public nudity is a big no-no in the United States for example, Germany has a long tradition with what is known as FKK – short for Freikörperkultur, or “Free Body Culture.” Certain beaches and areas of city parks are dedicated to nude sunbathing, and even Nacktwanderung (“nude rambling”) is a thing.

On the other hand, Germans are extremely possessive of their personal data — and are shocked by the readiness with which Americans (and others) share their names, addresses, friends’ lists, and purchase histories online.

According to research presented in the Harvard Business Review, the average German is willing to pay as much as $184 to protect their personal health data. For the average Brit, the privacy of that information is only worth $59. For Americans and Chinese, that value declines to single-digit figures.

Save Planet Earth’s Climate?

Hell yes! Count me in.

Climate 1

Climate 2

Clean up my own neighborhood? Nah, I think I’ll pass on that one.

A “Fridays for Future” demonstration will get 40,000 German environmental activists out on the street in no time. A call to clean up the local neighborhood on “World Cleanup Day” might get about 100 to 150 out of bed (here Frankfurt).

These World Cleanup Folks clearly don’t get the deal. Abstract heroics is were the money is – I mean, people are.

Nur rund 1000 kamen zum großen Aufräumen, sammelten vier Tonnen Müll. Am Main, in Sichtweite des Camps der „Fridays for Future“-Macher, verschlug es gerade mal 150 Freiwillige.

How Will Germany Pay?

Like, duh. The same way Germany pays for its Syrian migrants (three out of four live off the German welfare system). The captive taxpayer audience will pay. Always has, always will. Gladly, even.

Climate

How Will Germany Pay For Its €50bn Climate Plan? After months of intense negotiations between the governing parties in Berlin, Germany on Friday announced a €50 billion package of measures designed to help the country meet its 2030 emissions reduction goals.

Just so you know: Citizens in ridiculously expensive Switzerland already pay half of what the Germans pay for their energy now. And in France, the people take to the streets to protest rising energy costs (gilets jaunes). In Germany, the people take to the streets to protest the latest planned energy price increases not being high enough. German voters want this, in other words. It’s psycho here, folks. I keep telling myself “it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie…” but, sadly, I know it’s real life. As real life as German reality can get.

Strompreise steigen auf Rekordhöhe – auch Gas ist teurer.

That Didn’t Take Long

But, then again,  it never does.

Trump

#TrumpNotWelcome trends in Germany after Trump says he’d like to visit ‘soon’ – Merkel couldn’t contain a surprised smile at Trump’s announcement, but social media users weren’t so gracious. The mayor of Trump’s grandparents’ hometown shrugged at the news.

Speaking of Donald Trump’s roots, I really love this little documentary (too bad it’s in German for ya’all). It was filmed before he ran for president and none of today’s  toxicity is there yet. The film makers even treat him like, I dunno, friendly or something (start viewing around minute 47:00). Refreshing, to say the least.

“We’ll be there … we’re very honored by the invitation — and that’s true — and we will be there. Maybe soon. I have German in my blood.”

Donald Trump Threatens Germany With Visit

Clearly worried about his health after confiding to Angela Merkel  during G7 talks that he “has German in his blood,” President Donald Trump announced that he will be coming to Germany “very soon.”

Trump

To seek medical attention, I assume. German doctors probably know best when it comes to getting  “German” out of the bloodstream and why take any chances with a threatening ailment like this.

Let’s just hope it won’t be too late because worrying signs of the blood illness appeared during said talks when Trump grew delirious and called Merkel “a brilliant woman” at one point.

“Ich habe Deutsches in meinem Blut.”

“Crotchety, Over-Critical Culture”

Comparing Germany’s entrepreneurial business world to Silicon Valley’s? This post will be even shorter than usual.

Silicon

One reason why California continues to draw talent out of Germany is the contrast between Germany’s crotchety, over-critical culture, with its fear and condemnation of failure.

This compares unfavorably with California’s inspiring can-do optimism and fail early, fail often, keep trying until you succeed” mantra. Additional reasons are the much higher salaries paid to engineers and programmer in California, the sunnier, warmer weather and California’s huge head start in building a startup-friendly business ecosystem.

“We need to build critical mass in one city, and that city is Berlin. It’s built a global reputation as a cool, hip, affordable city with a lively startup scene. We should double down on that.”

 

A Show Of Forest

Greta joins forces with the Robin Hoodlum activists of Hambach Forest in Germany. You know, in Media Hyperspace? Nothing can stop them now or something.

Greta

Climate activist Greta Thunberg makes surprise visit to German forest – While on her way to a UN climate conference, 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg stopped in western Germany to stand with activists at the Hambach Forest. The woods have been threatened by a nearby lignite mine.

Greta & Co really need to get out (of the forest) more and gather a little real world experience. For health reasons alone. As William James (The varieties of Religious Experience) once put it: Spiritual excitement takes pathological forms whenever other interests are too few and the intellect too narrow.

“This is so important because it is so symbolic.”

German Of The Day: Igelsex

Go figure. It’s pronounced “eagle sex” but it means hedgehog sex.

Igelsex

Germans kept up at night by noisy igelsex (that’s hedgehog coupling) – Police called out to reports of nocturnal disturbances find hedgehogs ‘having fun.’

I don’t buy it, though. I think these Germans were kept up at night, tossing and turning, worrying about the German economy.

“Germany’s economy is highly dependent on exports, and that’s what’s hitting the German economy now. If the trade conflicts persist for many more years, this will hit Germany very hard.”

A Pattern Is Clearly Emerging

After years, if not centuries of intense observation, German climate scientists have now come to the shocking conclusion that it can get really hot here in the summer.

Summer

“As opposed to the winter  months,” one scientific interviewed said, “where we have observed a significant and prolonged drop in temperatures during the same period we took these measurements, it often happens that some summer days in Germany can get like, you know, hot as hell.” “Yeah,” another scientist colleague added, “and we now believe that this is most likely to take place during the month of July, for some odd reason.”

Germany swelters in record-breaking Europe heat wave – A record high temperature in Germany is forecast to stand for only a day as Europe’s second summer heat wave bites. Ships have been stranded, rail travelers urged to delay trips and tigers fed chicken ice blocks.