Germany Leaps Forward Again

In the saving the world game, I mean.


And here you thought the Germans shutting down their nuclear power plants after an accident in Japan was hardcore enough (and it was). Now they’re going to outlaw internal combustion engines (albeit not until the year 2030).

Amazing Scheiße, I find. It does make me wonder what they’re going to be outlawing next, however. I would have bet on the wheel but it’ll be pretty much taken care of as soon as the internal combustion engines go so I’m now going to put my money on fire itself. Do you have any idea how much CO2 cooking your food releases into the atmosphere? Me neither, but you can be sure that it’s way too much. At least in Germany.

Being a subscriber to Mad Magazine, when I first saw the title of this article at Gizmodo recently, I assumed I’d mixed up my bookmarks and gone to the wrong site. “German Lawmakers Vote to Ban the Internal Combustion Engine.” Oh, come on, man. That can’t be right, can it? The home of some of the higher performance engines in the history of fine cars can’t seriously be talking about this, can they? Well color me embarrassed because, with a few caveats, it turned out to be true.

Amateur Climate Scientist Puzzled How Earth’s CO2 Got To Mars

That’s right. I’m going to do a little amateur science today for once already if you don’t mind thank you.


I mean, I’m puzzled or something. If human CO2 emissions are the cause of climate change here on Planet Earth today (this is at least what folks here in Germany tell me every freakin’ day) and a similar type of climate change took place long ago on Mars as well (there used to be a lot more ice there a few hundred thousand years ago, you see) then how on Earth did we on Earth manage to transport our human CO2 emissions back through time and space to Mars to cause that Martian climate change in the first place and like not even be aware that we were were doing it or even how we were doing it and still aren’t for that matter? I’m just asking.

Is that creepy or eerie or what? Otherworldly, how insidious and tricky these human CO2 emissions can be these days.

Klimawandel gibt es auch auf unserem Nachbarplaneten Mars.

Arctic Sea Ice Spiral Of Death?

Wat dann nun (well which one is it then)? Satellite images show that “the Arctic ice crust is melting faster than expected“or

Polar Bear

stunning satellite images show summer ice cap is thicker and covers 1.7 million square kilometres more than 2 years ago.”

I know. It must be both.

The speech by former US Vice-President Al Gore was apocalyptic. ‘The North Polar ice cap is falling off a cliff,’ he said. ‘It could be completely gone in summer in as little as seven years. Seven years from now.’ Those comments came in 2007 as Mr Gore accepted the Nobel Peace Prize for his campaigning on climate change.

PS: The Ozone Hole is also doing really poorly these days and will soon disappear completely. Ozone scientists are therefore justifiably worried about what to worry about next.

Storm Xaver So Horrific That The First Christmas Markets Are Actually Being Closed!

Supersturm! Angst everywhere! People are running for shelter wherever you look. Berlin has been closed for business. Germany is shuddering with fear. And all of this due to global warming. Or something.


If we must die now, let us do so in an orderly manner and close the Christmas markets first. Then we can head home and die there in dignity. Where it’s safer. After the Tagesschau.


CO2 Is Bad, Right?

Germany has produced 2 percent more CO2 than it did the previous year, 20 million tons more. Oh yeah, and there had been an increase in CO2 production the year before that, too.


Uh, I thought that this Energiewende (energy turnaround) thing was supposed to reduce these emissions. I mean, after turning off all of the German nuclear power plants and all, CO2 emissions just had to have dropped, right? I was never very good at science, though, much less at rocket science. This Scheiße is clearly way too complicated for me.

“Nach ersten überschlägigen Schätzungen dürften sich die energiebedingten CO2-Emissionen in Deutschland um etwa 20 Millionen Tonnen oder um reichlich zwei Prozent erhöhen.”

PS: Speaking of Scheiße, it turns out, to my amazement, that there actually are Germans who don’t like dogs. There seems to be a new anti-dog movement in the making that is being spearheaded by a magazine called Kot und Köter (Crap and Muts). I guess this had to happen sooner or later. And Kot causes CO2 emissions too, right?


Germany’s Eight Unplugged CO2-Free Atomic Reactors Have Increased Air Pollution For A Second Year In A Row

No, wait. It’s the German coal-fired power revival doing that.


Green shift? Sounds more like a green shaft to me.

Coal is the most polluting fossil fuel and is blamed by scientists for contributing to global warming. Merkel opted to shut nuclear power plants after an earthquake in Japan two years ago resulted in meltdowns at reactors owned by Tokyo Electric Power Co.

“Climate protection is a key target of the government and greenhouse gases should fall, not climb.”

Germans Concerned Global Warming Stagnation Stagnating Too Fast

SPIEGEL: Mr. Storch, Germany has recently seen major flooding. Is global warming the culprit?

Storch: I’m not aware of any studies showing that floods happen more often today than in the past. I also just attended a hydrologists’ conference in Koblenz, and none of the scientists there described such a finding.


SPIEGEL: Would you say that people no longer reflexively attribute every severe weather event to global warming as much as they once did?

Storch: Yes, my impression is that there is less hysteria over the climate. There are certainly still people who almost ritualistically cry, “Stop thief! Climate change is at fault!” over any natural disaster. But people are now talking much more about the likely causes of flooding, such as land being paved over or the disappearance of natural flood zones — and that’s a good thing.

SPIEGEL: Will the greenhouse effect be an issue in the upcoming German parliamentary elections? Singer Marius Müller-Westernhagen is leading a celebrity initiative calling for the addition of climate protection as a national policy objective in the German constitution.

Storch: It’s a strange idea. What state of the Earth’s atmosphere do we want to protect, and in what way? And what might happen as a result? Are we going to declare war on China if the country emits too much CO2 into the air and thereby violates our constitution?

SPIEGEL: What could be wrong with the models?

Storch: There are two conceivable explanations — and neither is very pleasant for us. The first possibility is that less global warming is occurring than expected because greenhouse gases, especially CO2, have less of an effect than we have assumed. This wouldn’t mean that there is no man-made greenhouse effect, but simply that our effect on climate events is not as great as we have believed. The other possibility is that, in our simulations, we have underestimated how much the climate fluctuates owing to natural causes.

The Spiegel Says: US-Amerika One Big Debtor’s Prison

More and more Americans are being punished for their poverty: Above all in rural areas judges have been putting delinquent debtors in prison as of late. This medieval practice is illegal, unconstitutional – and widespread.

“Diese Unsitte verbindet man mehr mit der Zeit von Charles Dickens als mit dem modernen Amerika.”

PS: Speaking of deplorable customs and disturbing developments – and good fiction – when are these deplorable refutations of sacrosanct scientific certainties ever going to stop?! I mean, what ever happened to the ozone hole? It’s not there anymore or something.


Well it’s One drink of wine, two drinks of gin… and I’m lost in the ozone again.

Germans Pissed Off At Natural Catastrophe

Who’s in charge of this flood, anyway? Many wet Germans have begun asking themselves and others this question as the worst flooding the country has seen in over a decade moves northward through the country but not nearly fast enough if you ask them.


Normally in rapture with everything and anything that has to do with nature and the natural environment, this flood is the second Jahrhundertflut (flood of the century) within the past 12 years and patience for this excessive outpouring of nature’s splendor is rapidly wearing thin.

Germans simply cannot stand things that are not planned well, you see, and this cataclysmic inundation was clearly an organizational nightmare right from the start. The flood waters refused to stay in designated tributaries and caused chaos and hurt feelings pretty much right from day one as the rainfall that caused the flooding came all at once. Causing the flooding. Like I said.

The responsible party for this natural catastrophe has yet to be located (except for the usual suspect global warming, yawn, but that doesn’t really count because global warming is responsible for everything), but when he or she is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Piss off!”

Global Warming Five-Year Plan To Be Revised

A pesky and persistent slowdown in global warming over the past several years is now prompting global warming watchdog officials to lower their next five-year temperature forecast plan of doom and distress and nobody out there likes it one damned bit.


Greenhouse gas emissions have continued to rise, these same scientists say, and this makes them wonder why Earth is not getting warmer as this was bekanntlich (as you know) not vorgesehen (envisioned) in the last five-year plan.

Don’t get them wrong, however. Rest assured that the longer-term warning, I mean warming trend will remain one of cataclysmic environmental destruction and human annihilation and no five-year plan will ever change that because  it can’t. That option is not an option. It if were an option then the whole Aufregung (commotion) we’ve been going through all these years would have been nothing more than a ridiculous bout of collective hysteria.

“It certainly is no reason to relax.”

Es handelt sich um einen in der deutschen Nachkriegsgeschichte einzigartigen Fall von obrigkeitsstaatlicher Intervention in eine öffentlich geführte Diskussion.