Tag Archives: Humor

Fly me to Iraq already

January 13, 2010 By in Heconomy Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Looks like Germans are finally going to participate in Iraq after all. Or at least Germany’s Lufthansa is going to. They may not have had any choice, however.

No, I don’t mean that they’re going there to do any heavy lifting or shoot ’em up or anything like that (how could I?). Lufthansa had 2.6% fewer passengers last year and they`re in desperate need of new ones and/or markets and, well, now that Iraq is finally opening up for the rest of us…

It’s time to act or something. So, German Abenteuerurlauber (adventure vacationers), book your flight to Bagdad or Erbil now. Or next year, maybe. Or maybe not at all.

Das Flugangebot wurde 2009 um 1,3 Prozent reduziert.

Go west, German autombile companies!

January 12, 2010 By in Home Cooking Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Mit einem blauen Auge davongekommen (getting out of the econmic crisis with just a black eye), German automobile locust types now have their other eye clearly focused on US-Amerika and plan to produce even more of their fancy schmancy Germerican cars there.

Actually, they’ve been doing this quite some time already and doing it quite well, thank you. They’ve continually increased their share of the American Automobile Market Pie these past five years and now enjoy a healthy 7.3 percent piece of it. And believe it or not, the American auto market is still the biggest in the world, although I wouldn’t know why. Or you wouldn’t think so these days, I mean.

Or could it be that German auto makers just want to get the hell out of Germany because, I dunno, German workers are too expensive? Nah.

Die deutsche Autoindustrie sieht sich in den USA als Krisengewinner.

More bad snow behavior

January 11, 2010 By in Habeas Corpus Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

Or lack of it, I should say. The behavior, I mean. As reported earlier, snow punks recently took over the streets of Leipzig, kind of.

Now Jugendliche (have you ever noticed that it’s like always “young people”?) in Nürnberg are throwing snowballs from bridges at the passing cars below! How shocking or something. One of these snowballs even busted a windshield. Is nothing sacred anymore?

I think we’re dealing with manifestations of high sea fatigue here, only it’s more like high snow fatigue, if you stop and think about it. All this snow is slowly driving everybody here crazy.

Die Täter konnten zunächst von der Fußgängerbrücke im Nürnberger Stadtteil Langwasser entkommen.

Global Warming called off in Germany

January 10, 2010 By in Hard Facts Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

I mean at least for a few weeks, people. Don’t worry. Like Arnold, it’ll be back (most likely with a vengeance too, right?).

But damn it sure is cold here in Berlin these days.

It’s cold I tell you. Why it’s so cold that pickpockets in the U-Bahn here are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.

Cold? Why it’s so cold here that people who normally hate McDonald’s actually go there in the hope that somebody will finally spill scalding hot coffee on their lap.

You want cold? Why it’s so cold in Berlin that German car cleaning fetishists have actually stopped cleaning their cars. They just defrost them all day now instead.
 
Global Warming bis zum Umfallen.