Germany’s Little Greece

Or little Greeces, I guess I should say. Remember all that German finger-pointing at Athens and the indignant lectures about “financial responsibility,” “saving until it hurts” and “working harder?”

Well four of Germany’s sixteen state governments are so way out of control with their money (or lack of it) that they now face the distinct possiblity of sliding into a homegrown debt crises of their own.

This is the first time that the so-called “stability council” has put on its “debt-brake,” emergency procedures created by the federal government two years ago which is aimed at forcing all state budgets to be in surplus by the year 2020.

And the losers are (who else?): Berlin. Oh yeah, and Bremen, Schleswig-Holstein and Saarland. And just to stick with Berlin, how high is this city in debt? It’s only around something like sort of 62 billion freakin’ euros (17,140 euros per resident).

And how does this way cool debt-brake work? That’s easy. If the states promise to be good in the future (2011 to 2019) they will get an additional 800 million financial support from the federal government each year. You know, just like the way they do it down in Greece. I can’t wait to hear the next lecture.

In den betroffenen Ländern wurden bereits Sparmaßnahmen ergriffen. Im Gegenzug erhalten sie von 2011 bis 2019 Finanzhilfen von insgesamt 800 Millionen Euro pro Jahr, um die Schuldenbremse einzuhalten und ihre Defizite abzubauen.

German Vocabulary of the Day

Alleingang: Going it alone.

Although every German knows that things go invariably terribly wrong whenever Germans do this (go it alone), they sometimes simply just can’t help themselves (think the recent UN Libya resolution episode, for instance) and let this atavistic throwback throw them back to behavior (misbehavior) they will bald (soon) regret. For the latest case in point see Ausstieg.

Ausstieg: This means to exit, phase-out. Germans are the born Aussteiger (exit-ers or escapists), but this is getting ever harder and harder for them to do. Executive Director Nobuo Tanaka of the International Atomic Energy Agency, IAEA (not IKEA), for instance,  has warned Germany about going their nuclear phase-out alone (see Alleingang). Germany’s policies here affect all of Europe, he says, and “it’s not about a German problem, it’s an overall European problem.”

Blackout: This means blackout. German power companies are now warning that should the Ausstieg and Alleingang described above be implemented too quickly and too efficiently (a grave possibility in Germany), they will not be able to guarantee an uninterupted power supply for their customers in Southern Germany during the so-called “winter” months.

Die Netzfirmen warnten, wenn nur die im Zuge des Atom-Moratoriums stillgelegten Alt-Meiler weiter vom Netz blieben, fehlten an kalten Wintertagen in Süddeutschland etwa 2000 Megawatt Leistung.

This New-Fangled EBOOK Nonsense Ain’t Never Gonna Happen Here

Not in Germany it ain’t. No way. It’s, uh, I dunno. It’s just plain wrong. It’s too American or something.

Let Amazon & Co. sell all the damned ebooks they want to over yonder (currently 105 ebooks for every 100 printed at Amazon), we’re sticking to tradition and our traditional fixed book prices (this protects our culture somehow) and the unfair taxation and the measly 0.5 percent ebook sales of total volume of books sold in Germany (sure we only got around to introducing the Kindle here just a few weeks back, but still).

Remember this: Germans don’t read ebooks.

And remember this too: Television had no future (radio pioneer Mary Somerville) and the world only needed five computers at most (IBM president Thomas J. Watson).

Verlage und Buchhandlungen in Deutschland sind zögerlich, weil die Investitionen hoch und die Gewinnspannen niedrig sind und es außerdem mal wieder Streit um die Mehrwertsteuer gibt: Während gedruckte Bücher einem ermäßigten Satz von sieben Prozent unterliegen, sind es für E-Books 19. Und bis das ausdiskutiert ist, wird vermutlich auch Amazon.de mehr E-Books als Bücher verkaufen. Denn in Deutschland wurde der Kindle ja erst vor vier Wochen eingeführt.

World Vileness Crown Threatened

I finally found my Doninique Strauss-Kahn German connection, sort of.

A German insurance company has admitted hosting a decadent sex party at a Budapest bathhouse to reward its best agents for their work (this Spiegel article was appropriately placed under the Zeitgeist section).

Hey, why reinvent the wheel? Those guys up there (picture link) put it best: “Germans Threaten French Hold on World Vileness Crown with Stunning Budapest Salesmen Orgy.”

The responsible board member and other managers have since left the company.

What’s Mine Is Mine

And what’s yours we probably don’t even want to talk about.

German households have never had as much money at their disposal as they do now = Germans have never been as rich as they are now. Private financial assets are now valued at 5000 billion euros here (is that more than a bazillion?).

Like I always say:

A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound
A buck or a pound
A buck or a pound
Is all that makes the world go around

Vermehrt wurde das Vermögen vor allem in Form von Bankeinlagen und Bargeld.

Green Eco Dictatorship

Green Types everywhere out there know that this Stuttgart 21 train station thingy cannot be allowed to be built, no matter what (the rest of us out there still don’t know just why that is but maybe we’ll figure it out yet).

And now that Stuttgart (Baden-Wuerttemberg) is Green politically, Green Terror Types are starting to come out of the woodwork and beginning to take matters into their own green hands (just like Oma und Opa used to take matters into their brown ones).

Or as Henryk Broder reports it in that provocative way he does:

The Federal Republic made a great step forward toward becoming a Green eco dictatorship yesterday. The project manager for Stuttgart 21, Hany Azer (migration background, by the way) has resigned from his post.

The reasons he named were “hostility and threats” from Stuttgart 21 opponents. Most recently he has only been able to work while under protection of the company’s personal security personnel. This news item should have caused great alarm (but it didn’t).

Oh I dunno. As long as they don’t start wearing green shirts and stuff like that everything will turn out OK… Won’t it?

Jeder Fall von sexueller Belästigung in einem Großraumbüro löst überregionale Schlagzeilen aus. Aber wenn einer der besten Ingenieure der Republik, der unter anderem Projektleiter für den Bau des Berliner Hauptbahnhofs gewesen ist, aus dem Job gemobbt wird, regt sich nicht einmal Frank Bsirske darüber auf.

Looft-shif-TEHK’-nik

Is nothing sacred anymore? Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. says it will team up with Germany’s ZLT Zeppelin Luftschifftechnik to build three new blimps beginning in 2013.

Goodyear’s CEO says updating the fleet will “assure that future generations will be able to experience the joy of seeing a Goodyear blimp gracing the skies.”

The airships will be built by Zeppelin and Goodyear teams at Goodyear’s airship hangar near Akron.

Horror Scenario?

10 euros a month tops? For a “turbo” phase-out of atomic energy in Germany?

According to the Spiegel, that’s what “almost all” German citizens would be willing to pay to get out of the tsunami-plagued industry pronto (German tsunamis are indeed rare, but still). And they mean 10 euros a month per German household, by the way, not for the whole country.

That certainly is reassuring (sort of) after hearing all these Horrorszenarien (horror scenarios) being circulated out there by crackpot organizations like the Federal Association of German Industry (BDI) these days. They warn, for instance, that a quick German nuclear power halt could raise electricity prices here by as much as 30 percent (that would be more than 10 euros a month I think, but still).

I am sure that “almost all” German citizens would be willing to shell that out too.

But, then again, I am also sure that invading reptilian humanoids disguised as human beings are secretly controlling the fate of the human race.

Es darf nichts kosten (it just can’t cost anything).

PS: Thanks for the link, Joe.

“Die Noch-Supermacht”

Like S&P, Germany ITSELF believes that it’s time for “the yet superpower” to start saving big time and pronto. And I for one would listen (you know, like listening to E. F. Hutton when they used to talk?) because the Germans have had a whole lot of experience in giving good advice like this as of late. Just look at how their recommendations have helped Greece, for instance.

“The danger is that the Americans are still lulled into a false sense of security.”

“Möglich, dass Obama dann (nach der Wiederwahl) wirklich anfängt zu sparen.”

Good Bank Bad Bank

Amerikanische Banken sind böse, deutsche sind gut.

Deutsche Bank AG, whose bets against subprime mortgages helped it weather the financial crisis, pressed to sell a $1.1 billion collateralized debt obligation to clients in 2007 as the co-head of its CDO team foresaw a market slump, a U.S. Senate panel found.

Lippmann (not the co-head but then-top CDO trader), whose bets against the housing market were also described in Michael Lewis’s “The Big Short,” had repeatedly tried to warn co-workers and clients in 2006 and 2007 about the poor quality of the mortgage securities underlying many CDOs, according to the report. The return on his bets against mortgages “was the largest profit obtained from a single position in Deutsche Bank history.”

“Keep your fingers crossed but I think we will price this just before the market falls off a cliff.”

So how do German financial experts react to the big short CDO scam and the crisis that followed? How else? American banks have to take the responsibility for what happened.

“Im Nachgang der Finanzkrise müssen sich amerikanische Banken verantworten.”