Perhaps it’s time for a more kalt (cold) ideology instead.
So what’s one accurate prediction of a bone-chillingly cold winter? And another one, and another one? According to the “solar magnetic theory” referred to in the video here, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
Oh, my, God. The Scheechaos (snow chaos) has now reached Berlin! You know, like the Red Army once did?
What’s even more shocking is that it’s reached the taz too (the newspaper for all the lefty-anarcho-chaos experts living here). And even more shockingerer still is that Berlin’s environmental minister (yup, cities like Berlin have one of those) Katrin Lompscher (Left Party not Green–can’t you be both?) has called for a freakin’ Krisengipfel (crisis summit). You know, just like the one they had recently somewheres but I can’t remember where, about something, but I forget. Only this Krisengipfel will be worse, or better, or whatever.
We’re all going to die or something!
Talk about your Snow Crash.
“Thousands of accidents, autobahns blocked: Winter unleashes traffic chaos.”
Remember when hysterical warnings about the approaching climate catastrophe used to be en vogue here in Germany? You remember, long, long ago. Like during that near-snowed-out UN climate summit held in Copenhagen last year? That’s all passé now, for some inexplicable reason. And I, for one, really miss all the brouhaha.
The media here barely even bothered to cover the latest doomed UN climate summit, this time held in Cancun, Mexico, I think. The little coverage you could find was so drab, so pragmatic, so, I don’t know, so businesslike, it put you right to sleep. Well it did me.
Like where did all the fire go? Not a single riot anywhere. Where’s all the hybris and the hype? Whatever happened to those drowning polar bears and ticking clocks and time bombs and other highly dramatic life and death symbolic scenarios (scenario symbolics?)? Sure, I know, time has actually run out for us already. Copenhagen was the last chance (or was it Kyoto?), and yet the snow, I mean show must still go on, mustn’t it? But what do we get now? Now all anybody wants to talk about are emission certificates. Emission certificates and business opportunities. Pitiful. I remember when our planet’s future used to be at stake. Now the only thing at stake is “multilateralism.” Boooring.
Mad? You bet I’m mad, mister. It’s disgusting, I tell ya. I’m disillusioned (have you been dis-illusioned yet?). It’s freakin’ UN climate summits like these that give global warming a bad name.
“Climate change itself is changing — from an existential danger to civilization into an opportunity for profit.”
What happened to the all the panic, recriminations and chaos? Nobody seemed to have even noticed this last one in Bonn. This latest climate conference, I mean.
I remember when this used to be a life or death matter. Now it’s just a deathly boring one. Now we even have to find “reasons to be cheerful about climate change talks.”
Hearing that type of thing certainly cheers me up. And I just can’t wait for the next climate change conference to come around. So I won’t.
“It also remained unclear if the document would be accepted as an official negotiating text for further talks leading up to the U.N. climate summit in Cancun, Mexico, at the end of this year.”
German scientists have come to the scientific conclusion that “despite global warming”, winters could get colder in the years to come. Of course they could also get warmer in the years to come too, but still.
This odd phenomenon is said to have something to do with the sun or something (uh, don’t warm or cold winters always have something to do with the sun?).
Look, I’m no scientist. I just know that global warming, at least the man-made kind, is sacrosanct. And I also know that I nearly froze my ass off here this last winter, “despite global warming” (not to spite it or anything). So you do the math (I’m not a mathematician either).
Kalte Winter in Europa widersprechen Klimaerwärmung nicht
Sheesh. Of all folks (or Volks, if you prefer), rumor has it that the Germans are now beginning to lose thier angst about climate change. Now, of all times. Where angst is in the air and everywhere, I mean (they’re scared of freakin’ daylight savings time for crying out loud).
According to a Spiegel survey – and Spiegel Leser wissen mehr (Spiegel readers know more) – only a piddly 42 percent of Germans lose sleep at night anymore when it comes to global warming. Pitiful, people.
Come on, now. Get with the plan, Volks. Boo! Or something.
Heute hält jeder dritte Deutsche die Prognose der Klimaforscher, nach der es langfristig immer wärmer wird, nicht für zuverlässig.
Forget about the Himalayas. Global warming is still a big problem in Germany these days too. Or the lack of it, I should say (Rostock got creamed yesterday).
Everyone is still waiting to hear when the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is going to give an Entwarnung (all-clear signal) here too, I guess.
“The United Nations’ expert panel on climate change based claims about ice disappearing from the world’s mountain tops on a student’s dissertation and an article in a mountaineering magazine.”
The revelation will cause fresh embarrassment for the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which had to issue a humiliating apology earlier this month over inaccurate statements about global warming.
I mean at least for a few weeks, people. Don’t worry. Like Arnold, it’ll be back (most likely with a vengeance too, right?).
But damn it sure is cold here in Berlin these days.
It’s cold I tell you. Why it’s so cold that pickpockets in the U-Bahn here are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
Cold? Why it’s so cold here that people who normally hate McDonald’s actually go there in the hope that somebody will finally spill scalding hot coffee on their lap.
You want cold? Why it’s so cold in Berlin that German car cleaning fetishists have actually stopped cleaning their cars. They just defrost them all day now instead.
Global Warming bis zum Umfallen.
Observing Hermann 