Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

What A Coincidence

Imagine that. “Racism on the rise in Germany” now too.

Racism

What would be the odds that Germany discovers racism is rising in Germany at the very same time US-Amerika discovers that racism is rising there? Like, right now. Suddenly. Simultaneously. Out of the blue, so-to-speak. It’s mind-boggling, don’t you think?

Unless, of course, racism – like fascism and all those other -isms out there – is ALWAYS rising. But that can’t be true. Otherwise this wouldn’t be considered a news article. It would be an artificial construct. It would be fake. And fake news is not allowed in Germany. It’s the law or something.

Recent statistics back up the protesters’ criticism and confirm a dismal trend: Racial discrimination has increased significantly in Germany.

According to the 2019 annual report presented Tuesday by the German Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency (ADS), the number of such cases reported in Germany rose by almost 10% to 1,176. They make up 33% of the cases dealt with by the agency. That is the largest share, and not for the first time: In 2016, it was already 25%. Since 2015, when 545 reported cases were listed, the number has more than doubled.

We’re All Going To Die!

So let’s go on a nice vacation first. It looks like Coronavirus is going to take a little longer than expected to wipe out the German race so Germans aren’t wasting any time getting their priorities straight.

Vacation

Coronavirus: Germany to lift travel ban for 29 European countries on June 15 – The German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas has confirmed that Germany will remove a travel ban on EU member states and some other countries from June 15. However, he stressed that this was not “an invitation to travel.”

“We must not let this lull us into a false sense of security.”

What, Me Worry?

Nothing can happen to me. I’m a German politician. Right?

Lockdown

But me and my fellow German politicians will play it safe and start labelling normal, law-abiding, protesting citizens “extremists,” “anti-democratic radicals,” “far-right nut jobs” and “conspiracy theorists” like we always do at times like this. Just in case.

Germany: Politicians worry about radicalization at anti-lockdown protests – German lawmakers from across the political spectrum on Monday warned that the growing wave of anti-lockdown protests could provide fertile ground for radicalization, including from the far-right. Over the weekend, thousands of people gathered in cities across Germany to demand an end to restrictions put in place to slow the spread of the coronavirus pandemic.

“We will not let extremists misuse the coronavirus crisis as a platform for their anti-democratic propaganda.”

The End Of Amerika Again

And again and again and again.

Amerika

In this episode we die of coronavirus. Stay tuned for the next one.

How Trump Is Fueling a Corona Disaster – Donald Trump’s disastrous crisis management has made the United States the new epicenter of the global coronavirus pandemic. The country is facing an unprecedented economic crash. Are we witnessing the implosion of a superpower?

“German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. The reasons are psychological. The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.”
– Jan Fleischhauer (a German journalist who used to work for Der Spiegel itself)

PS: The quality of Spiegel journalism should never be placed in doubt.

Other Than Bars…

Clubs, discotheques, theaters, opera houses, museums, casinos, trade fairs, zoos, arcades, betting offices, brothels, churches and fifty or sixty other places for social and anti-social interaction, lots of other stuff in Germany is still open. Sort of. For now.

Corona

Corona ain’t no big deal here either.

Die Bundesregierung vereinbarte am Montag mit den Ministerpräsidenten der Länder, dass zahlreiche Geschäfte und Einrichtungen geschlossen werden sollen.

But Don’t Panic

When it comes to the coronavirus, Angela Merkel tells her fellow Germans.

Merkel

The population has no immunity, she points out. There is no therapy. 60 to 70% of you will be infected with it. BUT DON’T PANIC!!!

So, there. I said it. Now it’s back to the bunker for me. You promised.

The German daily Bild recently slammed her for what it called “the corona chaos,” claiming “No appearances, no speech, no leadership in the crisis.”

Czech Prime Minister Andrej Babis, Reuters reported, was later asked about Merkel’s comments. “I don’t want to comment on the situation in Germany, although I believe that such statements rather cause panic,” he said. “In any case, we have adopted strong measures for such worst-case scenarios to be out of the question.”

German Of The Day: Hamsterschlacht

You already know about Hamsterkauf (panic buying). Now the Germans have upped the ante and are doing “the battle of the hamsters.”

Hamsterschlacht

Aldi customers are getting up early in the morning to get in line so they can fight each other  to purchase disinfectant. Only three products per customer may be purchased, however (doesn’t sound like much of a hamster battle to me). Everybody’s doing it these days. It’s that coronavirus kinda feeling!

Sie stehen dicht an dicht. Dutzende Kunden warten morgens an einer Aldi-Filiale auf die Eröffnung des Ladens. Der Grund: Desinfektionsmittel!

Can It Get Any More Evil Than This?

Or sacrilegious? Or blasphemous even?

Naomi Seibt

Somebody called Naomi Seibt is desecrating Greta’s media image. She’s being hyped as the “Anti-Greta” and is, well, you know, trying to hijack Greta’s hype. Out-freakin’-rageous if you ask me. Is nothing sacred anymore? She’s German, you know. That pretty much explains it all. If you get what I’m saying.

I’m sure Greta is a nice girl and I would love to have a conversation with her. I just believe that there is a giant network of people behind her who are out to make a profit. I don’t want to be the marionette of the opposing side, I’m not Naomi at the head of the right-wingers. I just question all the propaganda and the hysteria and reach my own conclusions.

Greta ist bestimmt ein nettes Mädchen und ich würde mich gerne mit ihr persönlich unterhalten. Ich glaube einfach, dass hinter ihr ein grosses Netzwerk steht aus Menschen, die durch sie profitieren wollen. Ich möchte nicht die Marionette der gegnerischen Seite sein, ich bin nicht die Naomi an der Spitze der Rechten. Ich hinterfrage die ganze Propaganda und Hysterie und ziehe meine eigenen Schlüsse.

German Of The Day: Die Ewigen Propheten Des Untergangs

That means the perennial prophets of doom.

Trump

Here is an example: Trump calls climate activists ‘perennial prophets of doom’ during Davos economic forum.

“This is not a time for pessimism. This is a time for optimism. Fear and doubt is not a good thought process because this is a time for tremendous hope and joy and optimism and action.” I would translate that into German but German just doesn’t have that kind of vocabulary.

„Wir müssen die ewigen Propheten des Untergangs und ihre Vorhersagen der Apokalypse zurückweisen.”