Uh oh. This could be one of the worst WikiLeaks yet.
It might even force Germans to reevaluate their claims that the only reason the United States went to Iraq was for the oil.
Nah.
“Contrary to what many people believe, the Iraq war provided few advantages for the US oil industry. The diplomatic cables show that, in most cases, it was competitors to the Americans who often did better in the country.”
And the signal is: We think it’ll be safe enough for us now to start making money down there again.
German Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle made a surprise visit to Baghdad on Saturday, calling for more economic engagement in that country (he means of the German kind), which really isn’t much of a surpise, if you ask me.
In particular, a bilateral deal on the protection of investments is expected to be signed with Industry Minister Fawzi Hariri, with the new accord helping improve “economic and legal conditions for German companies” working in Iraq.
How ya figure? Wow. Talk about your news item. The survey says: Germans view Muslims and their religion (and Jews and theirs) more negatively than their European neighbors–who don’t seem to care much for them either, by the way.
But at least Germans are fair. When it comes to being unfair, I mean. The survey also came up with similar negative results for other religions like Hinduism and Buddhism.
“The representative survey, which polled 1,000 people in each of the four countries mentioned, found that fewer than five percent of Germans thought Islam was a tolerant religion, compared to roughly 20 percent for the Danes, Dutch and French.”
There’s money here for everybody. Remember the financial crisis? Long, long ago (in Germany)?
It seems that the Federal Reserve’s emergency loan programs really helped out a lot after all–German banks, that is. Hey, what’s a few trillion among friends?
Deutsche Banken haben das Förderprogramm der US-Notenbank inmitten der Finanzkrise kräftig genutzt.
How about twelve of them at once? I know, I know. That’s none of my damned business and whatever two (or more) consenting adults do in private and all that…
But in case you haven’t–and it is Christmas season now and all that–here’s your chance. But be warned: This actually has to do with “art” (whoever he is).
OK, so take some notes here: There’s this art museum called The Hamburger Bahnhof, but it’s in Berlin. And it’s not a Bahnhof. In it you will currently find an exhibition called “Soma” which has something to do with said twelve reindeer and giant mushroom sculptures alluding to some ancient Hindu legend about a hallucinogenic drink that was a magical elixir for, I dunno, magical purposes or something.
But none of this is all that important. The way cool thing about this exhibition is that if you want to, you can shell out 1,000 euros and spend the night there. Sleeping there. In a rotating bed. In the exhibition. Being an exhibitionist, so-to-speak. No, without any of that magic elixir, but still.
Hmmm. If they would include the magic elixir (and the over-nite wouldn’t cost any more than a stay at Motel 6), I think I could actually consider considering it.
As part of the “reflective component” of the exhibition, guests can rent a single revolving bed in the middle of the reindeer herd for 1,000 euros ($1,363) per night.
Germany is also getting a good bargain in the deal.
What deal you ask? You know, the one the Germans love moaning about so much at the Stammtisch (regulars’ table) these days: How poor Germany has to bail everbody out in Europe (Greece, Ireland, who’s next?) and how said poor Germans are poor victims yet again and blah, blah, tra, la, boo, hoo, hoo.
But there’s always a rest of the story.
Sure, the Germans have to “contribute” the most to this way cool European rescue parachute that keeps getting pulled these days, but they also have the most to gain if everything goes right.
How so? Some call it, I don’t know, refinancing. They borrow the money on the bond market for 3 percent and then loan it to the Greeks and the Irish (and the next folks to come along) for 5.8 percent. If these countries die Kurve kriegen (turn the corner), then the money comes rolling back in–and a big sweet profit to boot.
So dry your eyes over there at the Stammtisch already and take a deep breath after you order your next beer. Es wird alles gut. Everything will turn out good in the end. Maybe even real good.
“Wer sich selbst am Anleihemarkt für knapp drei Prozent refinanziere und an Krisenländer wie Griechenland und Irland Kredite zu einem Zinssatz von 5,8 Prozent ausreiche, könne selbst ordentliche Gewinne einstreichen.”
In an embarrassing embarrassment following Wikileaks’ leak of leaked US despatches, US diplomats in Germany have been caught making the very same derisive remarks about leading German politicians that Germany’s critical media makes.
Among other shocking revelations, it was revealed that US officials see Angela Merkel as being someone who “avoids risk,” Guido Westerwelle as being “arrogant” and Wolfgang Schäuble as being “an angry old man.”
“This is all just too embarassing to even describe,” said one anonymous high-level American diplomat wearing a brown paper bag over his head. “The leaking the leak part was bad enough, but to be caught red-handed like this expressing the very same views about German leaders that Germans themselves hold of them is just like, I dunno, I’m just so ashamed. And not worthy. But that’s not an official statement or anything. And turn that camera and mike off already, will ya?”
One of my favorite German idioms is “having pig” (Schwein gehabt) = got lucky. But this little piggy had none.
Normally quite Tierlieb (kind to animals), Germans verstehen kein spaß (can’t take a joke) when people, or in this case pigs, start rooting around in their butcher’s shops, in broad daylight, frightening customers and taking employees hostage and stuff like that.
So this Wildschwein (wild boar) got the Wild West treatment and was, well, butchered at the butcher’s shop–bang, bang, bang!
Personally, I find this “under all sow” (unter aller Sau) = beneath contempt. I mean, all he was doing was “letting the sow out” (die Sau rauslassen) = painting the town.
“Das stattliche Tier war geradewegs in eine Metzgerei hineinspaziert und hatte das Personal und eine Kundin in Angst und Schrecken versetzt.”
Of course sometimes lots of risk is no fun either.
Don’t park here.
There’s only one thing Germans like to do more with their cars than wash them. You guesed it, it’s parking them.
And that’s why finding the proper parking garage is so important here. And that’s why German parking garages are checked out on a regular basis by the ADAC mafia. And that’s why that one up there is the miesestes (lousiest) parking garage in all of Germany: Hamburg’s City-Hof Parkhaus. And here I was sure it would be that piece of crap one I’ve had to use twice now here in Berlin.
But in the category “Drivability” (Navigability?) it got a big fat 0, which is, I must admit, relativley low.
Funny though, I never thought you had much choice in the matter of where you get to park your stupid car when you have to park it in a certain stupid part of town, but whatever.
“Die Auf- und Abfahrten zu den Parkebenen sind zu steil, haben eine Neigung von 19 Prozent. Aufsetzen und Schäden am Auto können die Folge sein. Bei Gegenverkehr muss man oft den Rückwärtsgang einlegen.”
Observing Hermann 