How Do You Tittelate An Ocelot?

No, not that kind of an ocelot. The German Ozelot mobile air defense missile system kind of ocelot.

Ocelot

Why would you want to? Just buy an old Bundeswehr laptop on eBay for $100 that includes classified Ozelot instructions and proceed to destroy the damned thing.

VS-Nur für den Dienstgebrauch.

Germany Finally Has A Defender Again

If only temporary.

Defender

US troops arrive in Germany for ‘Defender Europe 20‘ military maneuvers – A massive trans-Atlantic military exercise has gotten underway with over 40,000 US troops and military vehicles expected to arrive in Europe. It is the largest US troop movement across the Atlantic in 25 years.

“If everything goes well, nobody will notice anything.”

Massive German Troop Reduction Underway In Iraq

30 of the 120 German soldiers stationed there are to be immediately flown to safety.

Iraq

However, it was unclear at this time just who will be flying them out as the German military doesn’t have any aircraft that actually fly.

Germany is moving some of its military personnel from Iraq to neighboring countries over security concerns, the government told lawmakers, days after the killing of a top Iranian military commander in a U.S. drone strike.

Einige der in Bagdad und Tadschi stationierten Truppen sollen den Irak vorerst verlassen. Laut Verteidigungsministerin erfolgt der Teilabzug aus Sicherheitsgründen.

China

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

China

Because somebody has to admire them.

OK, it’s not exactly a weapon sale this time. The Germans just plan to train 11 Chinese soldiers so they can, you know, better use their weapons in places like, I dunno, Hong Kong or some place like that.

In addition, one soldier is to be provided with special training in “press and public relations.”

Mini-MErkel: International = Without Germany

That’s what it means when it comes to troops and international security zones, at any rate.

Mini-Merkel

It’s hilarious to watch this ritual. Whenever no one else is around to do the dirty work (in this case US-Amerika in Syria), Germans like to pretend that an international force can do the dirty work instead. The punchline comes later, however (stay tuned): The same Germans will then turn down any attempt made in the Bundestag to have German troops participate in such an international security zone. It’s a win-win situation.

Germany’s defence minister has suggested creating a security zone in northern Syria to protect displaced civilians and ensure the fight continues against Islamic State militia, the first time Berlin has proposed a military mission in the Middle East.

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, Angela Merkel’s preferred successor as chancellor, said she would discuss the initiative with NATO partners this week and did not rule out sending German soldiers to Syria, saying that would be a matter for parliament.

“We cannot just stand by and watch and not doing anything.” That’s right. Sit down and do so.

What Difference Does It Make?

Germany: Bundeswehr grounds ‘Tiger’ helicopters due to technical faults.

Tiger

The Bundeswehr and Bundesmarine (German army and navy) ain’t ever going to be deployed anywhere anyway so who cares if nothing works or not?

Bundeswehr’s enduring equipment woes – The incident is the latest in a series of embarrassments for the Bundeswehr and the German government concerning equipment, especially as regards government-issue aircraft. Chancellor Angela Merkel, Foreign Minister Heiko Maas, and Finance Minister Olaf Scholz have all been delayed by faulty airplanes while carrying out official duties in the past year. Bundeswehr officials have also long complained that much of their equipment is outdated and broken, as increasing defense spending becomes more and more unpopular politically.

“Security is the top priority for the Bundeswehr.”

Germans Too Busy Killing Hitler To Help Allies

It’s another German oddity kinda thang. And one of my personal favorites.

Hitler

Germans hide from responsibility today by routinely ritualizing  how they hid from responsibility in the past. And don’t kid yourself. They are perfectly aware of what they are doing.

Germany will not join US naval mission in Strait of Hormuz – Foreign Minister Heiko Maas said Germany will not be taking part in a US-led mission to secure oil tanker ships sailing near Iran. The US ambassador in Berlin slammed the decision, saying Germany has responsibilities.

“Hardly any other country is as dependent on the freedom of international shipping as export champions Germany.”

An Absolute Shocker!

That the US would even waste time asking Germany in the first place, I mean.

Germany

Germany rejects US request for help in the Gulf – Foreign ministry focuses on ‘de-escalation and diplomatic efforts’ as tensions rise.

And dialogue. The journalist here forgot to mention dialogue. Whenever Germany shirks its responsibility as an ally (and this happens with astounding regularity) the German foreign minister du jour suggests opening a so-called dialogue instead – knowing, of course, that this dialogue will never lead anywhere but that it will enable Germany to shirk its responsibilities in a more subtle, indirect manner.

Tensions in the Gulf have reignited a German debate over the country’s readiness to take on a larger role in global affairs with critics charging that Berlin should step up its involvement by taking part in a possible naval mission to the region.

Berlin has come under pressure from the UK and the US to increase its engagement in the Gulf after Iran seized a British-flagged tanker in the Strait of Hormuz this month.

But on Tuesday Germany rebuffed a formal Washington request for support, saying it would not contribute to a US-led naval mission in the region.

“This is a classical case of ducking your responsibility. You see that something has to be done but you say: Not me.”

German Word Of The Day Except That It’s An English One: Mull

That means to study or ruminate, ponder, to think about carefully, consider, again and again, with great care, for an exceedingly long period of time, until the thing you are mulling about has taken care of itself and you are conveniently off the hook. Again.

Gulf

It also means to mess up or make a failure of.

Germany mulls joining European Persian Gulf naval mission – Pressure is growing on the German government to lend its military weight to a potential European naval mission in the Persian Gulf. The UK government floated the idea of a joint European operation last Monday.

“Hardly any other country is as dependent on the freedom of international shipping as export champions Germany.”

Mein Kampf-Karrenbauer

I mean Mein Kramp-Karrenbauer, of course. But she is a Kampf-Karrenbauer now, you know.

AKK

Or you can just call her AKK, if you prefer, although that sounds like a machine gun, too. Or just call her Mini-Merkel if you like that better (that’s her official unofficial designation). But I dunno. Mini-Merkel just doesn’t have the punch a defense minister needs to have with his name, don’t you think? Especially when it’s a she. Again. It just doesn’t exude any shock and awe. Well, shock, maybe, but nothing this government does can awe me anymore.

Merkel protege AKK given defence job seen as poisoned chalice – Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer succeeds new EU commission president Ursula von der Leyen as German defence minister.

Angela Merkel’s favoured successor as chancellor has been appointed Germany’s new defence minister in an unexpected and potentially risky move after Ursula von der Leyen’s confirmation as European commission president…

The job of defence minister is widely seen as a poisoned chalice. Germany’s armed forces, which critics maintain have long been chronically underfunded, are consistently accused of inefficiency and of having inadequate or defective equipment.