German Of The Day: Totalausfall

That means total failure or total loss.

Like the latest “unexpected” breakdown (or are these planned?) in the mighty German war machine.

TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH THE PUMA – Our armored personnel carrier is a total failure.

The Bundeswehr has encountered serious technical problems with the Puma armored personnel carrier during exercises for NATO’s “spearhead” force.

Talk The Talk

Sure. But walk the walk? Nein, Danke!

Germany to Miss Military Spending Target Next Year, Study Says – Germany will fail to meet a NATO guideline of spending 2% of gross domestic product on its military next year and again from 2026 onwards, according to an analysis quoted in local media on Monday.

“The 2% target is receding into the distant future despite €100 billion in special funds, and even necessary procurements in the short term are not progressing.”

It’s just a show, people. Get used to it.

Country With Army That Uses Broomsticks For Guns Calls For Military Autonomy

They’ll be using their own, domestically produced broomsticks for training in the future, I guess.

German Chancellor Calls for EU Reforms, Military Autonomy – German Chancellor Olaf Scholz Saturday called for reforms of the European Union to make it fit for the admission of new countries as well as more military autonomy of the 27-country bloc.

Speaking at the Congress of the Party of European Socialists in Berlin, Scholz advocated for gradually abolishing the principle of unanimity for decisions in foreign policy, but also in other areas such as tax policy…

Scholz also supports more military autonomy of the EU. He called for coordinated procurement of weapons and equipment, the establishment of an EU rapid reaction force by 2025, and for an EU headquarters for European armed forces.

Country That Uses Broomsticks For Training Aiming To Take Up Leading Military Role In Europe

Unable to even meet their NATO commitments now, the Germans feel the time has come to play an even greater role militarily.

Defense minister Christine Lambrecht said Germans had got used to seeing the nation’s military as just a kind of disaster relief agency, but “those times are over.”

Now the disaster will become more proactive or something? It’s always a joy to watch. Germans pretending that Germans would ever use their military to defend themselves, much less anyone else. The Bundeswehr‘s sole purpose is to be the alibi army; the excuse for Germany’s monsterous and highly profitable weapons industry. No one here takes this woman’s comments seriously.

Germany Finally Unleashes Its Mighty Military Machine

In… Australia?

Makes sense, if you think about it. That’s about as far away from Ukraine as you can get. It’s called deterrence or something.

Germany’s military ramps up presence in Indo-Pacific – Germany’s Bundeswehr is increasing its military presence in the Indo-Pacific — at a time when war rages closer to home, in Ukraine.

A war is raging in Europe. This has put a spotlight on Germany’s Bundeswehr and its shortcomings, with leading officers deploring a dramatic shortage of functional equipment.

And yet, Germany’s air force is currently participating in a military exercise on the other side of the globe, in Australia, where it has sent six Eurofighter jets.

Europe’s Sleeping Giant Awakes?

Uh, believe me. Germany is still sleeping. Sound asleep. And a giant is the last thing it is. Certainly not when it comes to its military.

Europe’s Sleeping Giant Awakens – Politics in Berlin has undergone a cataclysm that no one saw coming.

Scholz announced that Germany would end its dependence on Russian gas (no, they won’t), spend an additional 100 billion euros on its military (a lot but not nearly enough), and deliver hundreds of anti-tank weapons and Stinger missiles to Ukraine in order to help its overmatched military counter Russia’s all-out assault (nice symbolic gesture). Germany may also be forced to extend the life of its nuclear plants to fill the energy gap created by the halt to Russian gas supplies (ha, ha, ha).

“Freedom does not mean as much in Germany as it might in other places,” this person told me, speaking on the condition of anonymity in order to candidly discuss German political mores. “If the trade-off is between economic decline and an erosion of freedoms, Germany could well choose the latter.”

German Of The Day: Unter Beschuss

That means under fire.

Thank goodness Joe Biden has “made progress” and continues to have the situation under control.

A firefight broke out between unidentified gunmen, Western security forces and Afghan guards at the North Gate of Kabul airport on Monday, Germany’s armed forces said, as thousands of Afghans and foreigners thronged the airport, seeking to flee Taliban rule.

One Afghan guard was killed and three others were injured in the battle, which also involved US and German forces, the German military said on Twitter, without specifying whether the dead Afghan was one of the Taliban fighters deployed to guard the airport.

In dem Gefecht seien eine afghanische Sicherheitskraft getötet und drei weitere verletzt worden, meldete die Bundeswehr auf Twitter. Demnach ereignete sich der Angriff um 4.13 Uhr deutscher Zeit.

With A Stress On “Symbol”

26 soldiers, eight beds.

Portugal

German military. Get it? There is no German military to speak of. The lady currently running the EU saw to that. A mid-size American city’s police force is more effective.

“A symbol of hope” – German military aid arrives in Portugal – A German military plane carrying over 20 doctors and nurses together with ventilators and hospital beds arrived on Wednesday in coronavirus-stricken Portugal, where a severe rise in cases has prompted several European nations to offer help.

The German team will manage a new unit of eight ICU beds in a private hospital in Lisbon, Hospital da Luz, which was equipped but lacked the staff to operate, Health Minister Marta Temido said at the military base where the plane landed.

“Eight beds may not sound like much, but it is a lot for a health system under significant pressure.”

 

Germany To Monitor Space Junk

By launching more space junk.

Debris

Hopefully this rubbish isn’t a waste of time.

German military launches space junk tracking system – The German armed forces want to keep a closer eye on space in the future. A new system to track space junk orbiting Earth and send out early warnings about potential threats has begun work.

“Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?”

 

German Of The Day: Abziehen

That means to withdraw.

Germany

US to withdraw 12,000 troops from Germany in ‘strategic’ move – The US is set to withdraw almost 12,000 troops from Germany in what it described as a “strategic” repositioning of its forces in Europe.

About 6,400 troops will be sent home, with the rest moved to other Nato countries such as Italy and Belgium.

President Donald Trump said the move was a response to Germany failing to meet Nato targets on defence spending.

So schnell wie möglich.